Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, July 1922 · page 30 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #35 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine contains no cartoons—only text-based humor and aphorisms typical of 1920s "joke book" publications. The main joke involves three traveling salesmen (a stock comedic figure of the era). The humor hinges on the third man's punchline: he buys a baseball bat, knocks on his front door, runs to the back door, and claims he "hasn't missed a man in six years"—implying he's beaten an intruder/rival. This is dark domestic humor playing on anxieties about infidelity and masculine protection of the home. The remaining content consists of scattered aphorisms, puns (the baker saying "early to bread" instead of "early to bed"), and folk wisdom—common filler in magazines of this period. "Bum Bomb Advice" likely references post-WWI satirical commentary, though the specific "Go West...blow up with the country" reference is unclear without broader historical context. The overall tone is lighthearted, cynical entertainment for male travelers and salesmen—the magazine's core audience.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 29 It's Old But Worth Repeating There were three traveling men talking in the hotel lobby. First salesman said, “When I get home I always bring my wife a five-pound box of can-dy.” Second one said, “I always present mine with a bouquet of flowers.” Third one said, “I always buy a baseball bat. I knock at the front door, then I run around to the back door real fast and you know I haven’t missed a man in six years.” * * * These are the singing things: Stars, Flowers, Lovers. These are the silent things: Night, the Desert, Love. These are the eternal things: Truth, Harmony, Death. * * * Said the baker— “Early to bread, early to rise.” * * * I will find no offense, for a friend would not offend, and he who is not a friend could not offend me. * * * Bum Bomb Advice Go West, my boy, and blow up with the country. * * * An old joke is quite often better than an original remark. * * * You can teach some animals with a whip, but not the flea. He lives on rawhide.