Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, July 1922 · page 29 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #35 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine contains brief humorous items rather than traditional cartoons. The jokes target early 20th-century social absurdities: **"He Has Every Care"** reports on Otto Kuntz's illness with mock-serious concern, typical of gossip-column parody. **The college dolls joke** mocks collegiate immaturity. **The oyster book** satirizes absurdist literature titles, referencing the bizarre song "If Beer Bottles Had Nipples I Would Be a Baby All My Life"—likely parodying sentimental or nonsensical popular songs. **"Love's Force"** is a limerick about a Siamese maid resisting a suitor's advances with flirtation. **The hair-in-hash item** makes a crude domestic joke about finding unexpected things in food. **"Flees in Her Night Dress"** hints at scandal or comedic misadventure. **The final jokes** mock poor memory (possibly from alcohol) and forgiveness through violence—cynical humor reflecting post-WWI American attitudes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
28 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang He Has Every Care (From the Santa Cruz Evening News.) Otto Kuntz is slightly improved today. He has not pneumonia, but influenza, which would have developed into pneumonia had he further delayed treatment of what seemed to be a mere bronchial cold. He is in bed, with a nurse and every care. * * * Little girls like to play with dolls, and so do their big brothers at college. * * * The season's best seller—"The Home Life of An Oyster," by the author of that plaintive ballad entitled, "If Beer Bottles Had Nipples I Would Be a Baby All My Life." Sung with great success by Rears & Sawbuck. * * * Aeroplane medicine—one drop will kill you. * * * Love's Force Nice little maid from Siam, Who said to her lover, Kiam, You may kiss me, of course, But you'll have to use force, But, gee-whiz, you're stronger than I am. * * * A lock of hair will oft times bring sweet memories in a flash but will bring up more than memories when you find it in the hash. * * * Scratch! Scratch! (From the Boston Herald) FLEES IN HER NIGHT DRESS * * * Always forgive an enemy—if you can't lick him. * * * The man that staggers around now-a-days must have a wonderful memory.