Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, May 1922 · page 46 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #33 — page 46: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two sentimental poems with moralizing themes typical of early 20th-century American magazines. The first poem tells of a man who finds redemption through loving a "fallen woman" (named Phryne, a reference to an ancient Greek courtesan). Despite her "base unhallowed life," his faithful love grants her dignity—she receives an honorable burial and the title of "wife." The second poem, "The Straight and Narrow Path," is a working-class morality lesson. It cynically observes that life is a "riddle" and "joke," that fair-weather friends abandon you when poor, and that wealth cannot buy respectability or maternal approval. The remedy: maintain moral rectitude through hardship. The final lines invoke divine judgment—God will judge you fairly, so endure poverty with integrity. Both poems reflect *Whiz Bang's* blend of sexual frankness (discussing "fallen women") with conventional moral messaging—characteristic of this satirical magazine's approach to American social hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
44 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang He had found her sick and lonely, and his wife he now could claim, Since the Grand folks who had known her one and all had slunk away. He could clasp his long-lost darling, and no man would tell him nay. In his arms death found her lying, in his arms her spirit fled; And his tears came down in torrents as he knelt beside her dead. Never once his love had faltered through her base unhallowed life; And the stone above her ashes bears the honored name of wife. That's the blossom I fain would pluck today from the garden above her dust; Not the languorous lily of soulless sin nor the blood-red rose of lust; But a sweet white blossom of holy love that grew in the one green spot In the arid desert of Phryne's life, where all was parched and hot. * * * The Straight and Narrow Path Life is nothing but a riddle From the start into the middle And when you reach the end you will find Life is nothing but a joke. And your friends will act like Quakers Only prove to be hand shakers They can surely shake you when you're broke. You will try to make a borrow But you'll find out to your sorrow That it's mighty hard to meet old mister friend When you're poorer than a sparrow Stick right to the straight and narrow It's the only road that wins out in the end. You can make the world believe that you're an angel But it's mighty hard to face your mother once you fall The wise guy will grin and call you funny But in the long run he is the rummy. When the good and bad will balance on the square And if He says, "No you can't get up There" So remember in all your travel With the little rocks and gravel, The straight road is a great road after all.