Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1922 · page 36 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #31 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine contains three distinct pieces: 1. **An Editorial Fragment** criticizing yellow journalism and character assassination—attacking publications that gain attention through misrepresentation and defame "clean men and women" by generalizing individual failings to larger groups. 2. **"The Difference"** — A humorous anecdote about **Marshal Pétain** (French WWI military leader), mocking marriage. Before marrying, Pétain claimed all married couples fight like "cats and dogs." A friend counters by pointing to two harmonious pets on the hearth. Pétain's punchline: "Tie them together and watch"—implying forced proximity creates conflict. The joke satirizes pessimistic views of marriage. 3. **A Brief Joke** about courtroom absurdity: a prisoner claims innocence before hearing evidence, suggesting legal incompetence or willful ignorance. The page reflects *Whiz Bang*'s satirical targets: media ethics, social pretension, and institutional foolishness.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
34 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang of his fellows was well known. Save to report good of his fellowman, he spoke not at all. * * * So good-bye forever, dear Harry Duf- field, our best beloved, and may the dear, gentle God be very tender with you and give you ever- lasting peace and rest.” What power is theirs to soften pain, to edu- cate, to instruct, when sent on some constructive mission. And what a world of destruction they can accomplish when their author’s purpose is to gain notoriety through misrepresentation, to besmirch clean men and women by fastening to a majority the alleged shortcomings of a few, and to entirely disregard the command of our Creator, “Judge not that ye be not judged.” * * * The Difference Marshal Petain, before he married, was once delivering some pretty frank invective against marriage in the presence of some friends. He ended by saying nearly all married couples led a cat-and-dog life. “But, look here,” said one friend, “that’s an absurdly sweeping state- ment. Besides, cats and dogs don’t always quarrel. Look at those two on your hearth at this moment. They get on well together.” Pe- tain smiled. “Tie them together and watch,” he said. * * * Judge—Are you guilty? Prisoner—I haven't heard the evidence yet.