Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1922 · page 33 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #31 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang* (a 1920s humor magazine) contains three separate jokes; there are no political cartoons visible. The main anecdote mocks a professional beauty who claims the Sultan of Turkey honored her with a decoration for "virtue"—but hastily adds it's only "second class." The joke satirizes her hypocrisy: she's implying her virtue (sexual propriety) is questionable, yet she displays the medal proudly to King Edward (the future Edward VII). It's social satire about the gap between respectable appearance and actual reputation among high society. The second and third items are unrelated humor: one about teenage hand-holding in parlors, the other a morbid punchline about cremation. The references to Constantinople, the Sultan, and King Edward date this to the 1880s-90s era being discussed, though the magazine itself is from decades later. No specific political event is referenced—it's purely social mockery of aristocratic hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 31 Not First Class The late Peter Cooper Hewitt, millionaire inventor of New York, had a very intimate knowledge of high society in the world's capitals. Mr. Cooper Hewitt, discussing the English professional beauties of the '80's, said one day: "A famous, or rather a notorious profes-sional beauty, visited Constantinople. Her charms worked havoc among the Turkish nobility. The sultan himself was smitten. "At a dinner party on her return, King Edward, then the Prince of Wales, questioned her about her Turkish conquests. "'You made a great hit with the sultan, I believe?' he said. "'The sultan,' she answered with enthusiasm, 'is a dear. He conferred this decoration on me.' "And she displayed a jeweled emblem which glistened on her white bosom royally. "'It's the order of virtue,' she explained, and then, lowering her eyes, she added—'of the second class.'" * * * Did you ever sit in the parlor with your best girl and hold each other's hands 'til they got all "perspiry" and then let go and rub off and get a fresh hold again? * * * When I die I want to be cremated so I can carry my remains around in my vest pocket.