Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1922 · page 12 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #31 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two humorous pieces from an American satirical magazine (likely early 20th century). **Upper story**: A traveler's comedic misunderstanding about dogs behaving strangely under a bed. The punchline uses rural dialect—the farmer's daughter explains the dogs are simply reacting to one having brought a dead animal inside, for which their father beats them. The joke plays on the traveler's alarm versus the commonplace reality. **"The Young Gringo"**: An introductory poem about proper American behavior in Cuba and tropical countries, framed as drunken inspiration ("Ron Bacardi Superior"). The poem satirizes American tourists abroad, advising younger visitors to listen rather than speak, avoid arrogance ("cheek"), and show respect to experienced expatriates ("hardened old gringo"). It appears to mock American tourists' reputation for loud, entitled behavior while abroad—particularly in Cuba, a colonial-era American sphere of influence. The satire targets American excess and cultural insensitivity in tropical destinations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
10 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang whining and snarling issued from under the bed for several minutes, and the traveler became alarmed. The dogs must be mad. He arose and opened the door, and the dogs shot from under the bed, and through the open door. Each departed, howling as if St. Nick was after him. It was puzzling to say the least. The comely daughter entered the room shortly, and the traveler addressed her as follows: “What is the matter with those dogs?” he inquired. “I dunno,” she replied, “Lessem one uv ’em brung somepin dead indoors. Dad allus kicks hell out’en the whole passell uv them when they do thet.” * * * The Young Gringo Havana’s tropical sunshine, coupled with a few jolts of “Ron Bacardi Superior,” hath driven ye old cap’n to lyrical lines of lisping lingo. So I sit me down on my cane bottom chair with pencil stub in hand to transcribe that famous Cholo rhyme, “The Young Gringo.” The poem has to do with the proper actions of Americans in Cuba, and other tropical countries. The first you must learn is to listen, not speak, For the one thing we hate is a youngster with cheek, Shut up from the first; be attentive and meek When you’re next to a hardened old gringo. And now, from the start, don’t mistakenly think, That to be a good sport you must gamble and drink,