Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, February 1922 · page 47 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #30 — page 47: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains humorous short pieces typical of 1920s American satirical magazines. **"The Bum and the Farmer's Son"** is a cautionary narrative poem about a vagrant who lures a naive farm boy with fantasies of magical places (candy mountains, lemonade springs) and promises of adventure with outlaw "Rocky Mountain Sam." After six months of traveling, the boy realizes he's been deceived—the bum taught him to beg and con others—and returns home, rejecting the vagrant lifestyle. The brief jokes below mock everyday situations: a diner customer complains about hair in soup; a waiter makes a quick-witted retort about the man's mustache. The final joke is a pun playing on "Volstead Act" (the 1920 Prohibition law) and "vaudeville" (theatrical entertainment)—suggesting the questioner pretends to mishear "Prohibition" as stage comedy to make a political joke about Prohibition's unpopularity. These pieces reflect 1920s attitudes about vagrancy, con artists, and anti-Prohibition sentiment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 45 The Bum and the Farmer's Son One fine day, in the month of May, a dirty old bum came hiking; He sat down by a pig pen, which was very much to his liking. On the very same day, in the month of May, a farmer's son came piping; Said the bum to the son, "If you'll only come, I will show you things to your liking. I will show you the bees, and the cigarette trees, and the gum drop heights, where they give away kites, and the big rock candy mountains; And the lemonade springs, where the blue bird sings, and marbles made of crystal; you can whiff the breeze from the mince pie trees, where the wind blows fine and frisky; and you can join the band of Rocky Mountain Sam, and get yourself a sword and a pistol." The farmer's son then went along, listening to the bum's merry song; and for six months they did travel. Said the bum to the son, "When I get done, you're going to be a little devil." The punk looked up with his big blue eyes, and then he said to Sandy, "Now we've been a hiking all day long, now gosh darn where's your candy? You put a brace on my leg, and showed me how to beg, and you told me you were my jocker; and you told me lies, when you promised me pies, and you called me an apple knocker; I'm a goin' back home, no more to roam, I'm packing my junkerino; You can bet your lid, that this Hoosier kid, won't be any bum's punkerino." * * * Misplaced Eyebrow—"There is a hair in my soup." Diplomatic Waiter—"Probably out of your mustache." "I never thought of that." * * * Clap, Clap, Clap, Hurray! "How do you like the Volstead Act?" "I never did care for vaudeville."