Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, June 1921 · page 64 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #21 — page 64: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous poem by Jane Gaites from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang*, a satirical magazine popular in the 1920s-30s. The poem catalogs the speaker's romantic history through a series of men defined by their professions or habits—each treated with witty wordplay about why they didn't work out. The joke operates on double meanings: Tommy the butcher has a "cutting way" (rejecting her), Dick the aviator she tells to "take the air" (leave), Teddy the sailor "bought my ring on sale" (cheapskate), and Jerry the "beer fiend" makes her "turn quite pale" (alcoholic concern—relevant during Prohibition era). The punchline favors "Bill, a bear" who "hugs so grand"—he's straightforward and affectionate, contrasting with all the disappointingly complicated professional types. The aphorisms below promote self-improvement, typical of the era's popular wisdom literature. The humor targets romantic disappointments and social pretension through occupational stereotypes common to the period.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 63 Sweethearts a la Carte By Jane Gaites. Tommy was a butcher, He had a cutting way, Johnny was a burglar, For he stole my heart away. Jimmie was a cowboy, He roped me in for fair. Dick was an aviator, So I bade him take the air. Teddy was a sailor, He bought my ring on sale. Jerry was a beer fiend, It makes me turn quite pale. A tennis champ was Nicky, But his racket made me sick. Then came red-haired Georgie, And he surely was a brick. Jackie was a card sharp; He often held my hand. But give me Bill, He's just a bear— Oh, boy, he hugs so grand! * * * Eat less, breathe more. Talk less, think more. Ride less, walk more. Worry less, work more. Clothe less, bathe more. Waste less, give more. Preach less, practice more.