Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, June 1921 · page 63 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #21 — page 63: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine uses clock and watch brands as metaphors to mock different female personality types. Each comparison is insulting: the "Alarm Clock Type" has a shrill voice and plain face; the "Wrist Watch Type" is beautiful but unreliable; the "Mantel-piece Type" is pretty but shallow. The "Ingersoll Type"—a durable, cheap watch brand—describes a woman so indestructible she survives disasters, yet isn't worth advertising if lost. The subsequent brief jokes mock gossipy women and vanity. The final item, "Circumstantial," presents women as proof of infidelity: Mattie "knows" a man loves a woman because she saw them emerge from a study with the woman's hair disheveled after a dance. Overall, the page reflects early-20th-century misogynistic humor treating women as objects defined by appearance, reliability, and sexual availability—typical of this era's "comic" magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
62 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang Some Female Types The Alarm Clock Type—Shrill voice, large hands and a plain face. The Wrist Watch Type—Small framed, handsome- ly embellished; very erratic. The Mantel-piece Type—Pretty features, with nothing reliable behind them. The Big Ben Type—Hardest to face in the morning. The Wall Type—Very fancy, having a good swing, and goes “Cuckoo” without attention. The Eight-day Type—Steady and reliable, but, once started, stops for nothing less than an axe. The Ingersoll Type—Goes through fire, flood, famine and earthquake without changing in constancy; yet, once lost, its owner doesn't think it worth the price of an advertisement. * * * The big girls who have little brothers, Who always run and tell their mothers Whate'er they hear and see, know well In life 'tis little things that tell. * * * A pretty girl jumps to the conclusion that every man she meets wants to kiss her. And the wonder of it all is that she is right. * * * Circumstantial Hattie—Do you think he loves her? Mattie—My dear, I know it. I saw them come out of the study after the last dance, and her hair was a sight!—Williams Purple Cow.