Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1921 · page 53 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #18 — page 53: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a bawdy joke playing on linguistic confusion. A Scottish soldier in Rhodesia misunderstands a hotel waiter's message: a lady requesting "a Scotch and soda" (whisky drink) is misheard as requesting the soldier himself—a "Scotch" (the soldier). The soldier, spotting women's shoes outside Room 23, eagerly assumes a romantic encounter. The humor relies on the double meaning of "Scotch" (the drink vs. the soldier's nationality), the soldier's willingness to misinterpret the message, and the lady's exasperation at receiving a man instead of her requested beverage. The poem below—about peaches, "jazzing," and hesitation—continues the flirtation theme with sexually suggestive language typical of post-WWI American humor magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 51 Not a Scotch Soldier! Scene: Hotel verandah in Rhodesia. Time, 8:30 a. m., early 1919. Personae: A South African Scottish N. C. O. in the garb of old Gael, and civilian, to whom the former is telling the war tale. Enter Indian waiter, who breathlessly addresses the soldier: “You are wanted, sir, at once, at Room 23, and the lady says she feels bad this morning.” “Great Scot! What lady? Excuse me, you fellows.” Precedes his hasty flight upstairs, where he had already noted that morning the presence of a very dainty pair of lady’s shoes outside the door of No. 23. Knocking at the door, it was partially opened, and the fair unknown, peeping through the crack, no sooner caught sight of the kiltie than she exclaimed: “My God! What do you want here?” Soldier: “The coolie waiter said you wanted me hardly.” Lady: “The ——— fool! Why, I sent him for a Scotch and soda!” * * * I was born in Kentucky, Raised in Tennessee. If you don’t like my peaches, Don’t shake my tree. Oh, tell me how long Must I have to wait, Will you jazz with me now Or must I hesitate.