Beadle's New York Dime Library No. 32 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

% ; B’hoys of Yale. 9 standers to hear him discuss the points above mentioned; for every one put him down as be- ing the only really independent and fearless student among them all. ‘‘ Ain’t he a perfect brick?” asks one. ‘'Joggles is a high old fel- low,” said another. ‘That fellow loves his mother,” added a third one. ‘He does not care a pickle for the Faculty,” muttered forth a fourth one; while the people in general declar- ed the ‘‘ Louisiana boy ” to be the greatest case out. And yet Joggles was a fine and brilliant scholar. “This is a pretty affair now, isn’t it?” said Ogleish, in a stout tone, soon after they reach- ed his room, “Don’t begin to jaw me now, old fel-fel- fellow, for I meant to get-get-get the best of that old boc-boc-boc-balky horse; and didn’t I do it glo-glo-glo-gloriously, eh?” Both Ogleish and Tim were obliged to turn aside and smile. “T want it dis-dis-dis-distinctly understood, that Joggles never yieldsinnocase, No-sir-ree, sir. ” “‘Oh, shut up, you’re gassing. Now where have you been ever since half-past three o’clock this morning, eh?” . ‘“‘Ton’t you know?” instantly asked Joggles. “Know? How should we?” “Why, I’ve been waiting patiently for that cursed old balky horse to start!” Neither of them could desist from laughing outright. ‘“‘Oh, T’ve had one of the times, now, you'd better believe! When you get old Louisi- ana fairly star-star-started, boys, I’m a mod- mod-mod-modern Brutus—a young Achilles— one of the infant gladiators—one of the b’hoys —one of-of-of—” “Tut, tut, tut,” said Ogleish. ‘‘ Why did you dare to come up here with the horse and wagon, and thus expose things in such a way?” ‘“‘Didn’t I turn a short cor-cor-cor-corner handsome, eh? Didn’t Joggles do it del-del- delicately nice, eh?” “ Answer my question,” said Ogleish, witha sober look. “(And didn’t the old wag-wag-wagon take a pretty fair kind of a genteel rev-rey-revolution, eh?” **Oh, curse the revolutions and upsets, Tell me why you imposed upon usin such a man- ner? Look at your clothing, all torn, all muddy—your boots all ripped and your hat lost. You are a pretty ornament to the ‘ Phil- istine Society.” ‘‘ Ain’t they got a rich owner? Ain’t there more clothes where these come from?’ ‘“There will be a devil of a fuss kicked up about this affair, I’m afraid,” said Tim. ‘* Look at the pumpkins, the stones, and the wood,’’ he added, as he gazed out of the window, ‘‘Ha! ha! ha!” roared out Joggles, as he threw himself on the bed. ‘‘ That water-water- water-melon scrape was a killing time, and no mistake. Now, I'll tell you all about it,” said he, as he raised himself up. ‘‘ After you fel- lows left me, I took a good horn of brandy out of my flask. Then I smoked; and when I’d smoked up the whole of the se-se-segar, he was nogo, Ithen took another horn—a light one—of brandy, to keep the morn-morn-morning chills off, you see—see; and then Isat, pa-pa-patient- ly whistling away, reckoning that the old fel- fel-fellow would soon put off in a hurry, every minute. ‘‘ Well, he didn’t. I then got out and went to filling the old lum-lum-lumber wagon with stones off a wall, and after I'd gotin a good load, he took it into his head to start—and he did. Ijumpedin, He went for about three times the length of the college, and then wouldn’t go. I kicked, I pat-pat-patted, I whipped, I got upon his back, and I pushed— but it wasn’t of any use at all. I looked over the wall, and’spied a lot of water-water-water- melons, so I hove ’em into the wag-wag- wagon.” Here both of his friends laughed heartily. ‘* What’s up?” he asked. ‘‘Go on—never mind, now, for we will tell you all, soon,” ‘‘ Well, after waiting for more than two good hours, he star-star-started—and what a start! He came rushing ahead for a piece, and then stopped again. It was about eight o’clock this morning, or thereabouts, before he agreed to act decent; and after I got-got-got him un- der good headway, off must gomy hat—but I dared not step, so I put whip, and rushed into town, as though the very devil was after me. ——— — eR ——————— LR LLL LLL, So I came up here merely to dis-dis-display myself, and didn’t I?” It was useless for his friends to undertake to keepina sober mood. After he had explained all things, one of his friends did the same; whereupon Joggles became very wrathy when informed about the mistake—pumpkins vs. watermelons. How the fellow did swear! ‘Then we Southerners ‘sold’ ourselves, eh?” he cried out. ‘‘Green pumpkins for water- melons, eh? That’s the reason the old horse wouldn’t go—he wouldn’t draw such trash— darn’d if he would! I see-see-see it all now- now-now, clear as mud—clear as mud-mud- mud!” Joggles was reposing. LIBER VI. ‘‘ HEARD the news, Dan?’ asked a fellow- student, on the following morning, near the hour of ten, “No, I have not,” innocently replied Dan. ‘¢‘ Great times in and out of town last night, if all the reports be true. Old Fletcher was robbed of a fine watermelon field; Deacon Hammo’s gates were unhung and thrown into the pond; poor old Poll Johnson’s chimney got a decoration—old Bill Sim’s grindstone, frame and all; Lawyer B’s sign was found nailed up on Mrs. Dewesenberry’s house; Hazzard’s sign was turned bottom side up, over Luce White’s front windows; while, to top off with, Colonel Joe Blake’s old mare was found this morning with the hair of her tail, mane, and fore-top, all cut closely off, and her body closely shear- ed. On one of her sides were two big letters, ‘O. K.,’ and on the other ‘J. B.,’ painted with some kind of hard-looking mixture.” ‘¢‘ How did you hear of all this?” asked Dan, in accents of surprise. ‘“Why, it’s public talk, down town.” ‘¢ Well, it’s too bad, all of it, save Joe Blake’s old mare,” replied Dan; ‘‘for he ought to be come up with when he would dare arrest a man and lodge him in jail for two days with- out a warrant! It’s all right.” ‘¢T shouldn't wonder if an action was brought this very morning against the guilty parties.” ‘‘ But name them,” said Dan, quickly. ‘“‘They belong about Yale, I understand,” was the satirical answer. “Sir, I do not believe any such thing. It is strange to me that all the didoes, scrapes, and all the deviltry, is laid to us students, Can you, will you, tell me why this is so?” “Don’t know, Dan.” i > No one would have supposed that Dan knew anything about this deviltry under considera- tion; yet the cunning fellow did know a great deal. Some time during the forenoon, a certain rigid Professor undertook the liberty of asking the several classes in the various departments a few impertinent questions to this effect: ‘¢ Those students who were absent from their rooms last night after — o’ clock, will please rise!” Some thirty odd persons did so, The in- quiries made concerning “ their absence ’’ was extremely laughable. An Alabamian gave his reasons: he was conversing at that hour with a young lady, residing some two miles out of town, and since the question had been asked in such a way as to demand an impartial reply, he added that he cared not who knew it! The Georgia chap was at ‘“‘his aunt’s,” and when asked where she resided, he replied that ‘‘she lived private.” A Rhode-Islander was at “his uncle's,” and he answered to a certain rejoind- er, that it mattered not to the Faculty where- abouts ‘‘said uncle resided.” Dan, when ac- costed, replied that he made it a practice to. tell the truth, and would therefore remark that he was ‘playing at cards with asociable whist- party, at the residence of the Hon. Mr. Brown.” The Professor could make nothing out of Dan, so did not question further. He looked hard toward Joggles, but knowing that it was next to an impossibility to make any ‘‘ boot” out of such a wag, he passed by him. Many other innocent young gentlemen answered im about the same tone. “Those who were engaged in stealing water- melons last night, will please rise.” This bold demand of the Professor’s was re- ceived with a shock of surprise. Noone an- swered to the call. ‘‘ Those who were engaged in eating water- melons last night, after — o’clock, will please rise,” A perfect silence ensued. No one obeyed. Thus proceeded the bold Professor, divulge ing from time, the whole occurrences of the night previous. After he had finished, a great number of students looked surprised, for be fore the examination they were ignorant of the facts. The Professor took great pains te inform them at large, that a ‘“‘further investi- gation ” would, perhaps, find out and bring te justice the guilty persons, No one was fright- ened, however. As evening dawned, it was the general theme of discussion all over town. Some had their suspicions, others their doubts, while the gen- eral impression was that some of the ‘* Yale College Students ” could ‘‘ unfold a tale.” The venerable, grave-looking ‘‘ Uncle Sam Keeler” would cock up his little blue eye, give the fat about his neck a shake with his right hand, and then ‘‘ wonder who the devil did them are cut- ting-up-didoes and serapes?” During some part of the evening, the ‘‘ Phil- istine Society ” held a secret meeting, every member being present. Other secret societies held a meeting at the same time, for the reason that the ‘‘ late revelations”? had caused a deal of indignant excitement in various channels, as the charges had been laid to many an “‘in- nocent duck.” ‘‘Mr, President,” said Nat, of South Caroli- na, and whose gods were pistols, handsome women, and good wine, “‘ we are all aware of the existing state of things among the “out siders,” respecting the proceedings of last night Something must be done to meet those aggra- vating charges which have been thrown inte our face this day, in divers ways. ‘Sir, it is hard work for me to command my feelings toward certain ‘outsiders;’ but as I am among Northerners, who ‘‘love peace and the good things of life,’ I have come to the conclusion to forget pistols, the use of bowie- knives, dirks, and sword-canes, and to aim my attacks on my antagonists with my pen.” ‘Good! good! You’re able to do it, too Read! read!” exclaimed several of his friends. ‘* Gentlemen, we are aware that some certain members of the Senior and Junior Classes have taken it upon themselves to throw out insinua- tions respecting the doings of last evening: The Senior Class must be paid, sir, for their insolence—must be met face to face; for that ‘dignified body,’ now anxiously looking abead for the ‘Honors,’ for certain points of emin- ence and distinction, have taken it upon the stronghold of revenge and jealousy, to charge everything, pointedly and openly, to the ‘ Phil- istine Society.’ Who ever heard of such a bare-faced insult? ‘Sir, as a humble member of this joyful Society, I have taken the liberty of reversing everything, and of charging the entire plot to no one else than the Senior Class,” ‘*Good! good!—decidedly rich,” interposed a member, ‘Go it, old South Carolina! you're able,” yelled out ‘‘ She-cargo.” “Gentlemen, in doing so, I am merely fight- ing them with their own weapons, and exer- cising the privilege of a member of this Society by using the Lex Talionis, which, if I mistake not, is the primal principle of this association- And, gentlemen, I have taken the liberty of using these very ‘blowers’’ names who have dared to be so bold as to use ours; so bold as to say, publicly, that this Society knew every- thing concerning the affair. Is not this ‘ put- ting it on rather thick,’ my friends? Shall we allow ourselves to be rode over in such a man- ner? Although I am myself a member of the Senior Class, Mr. President, and one wha is looking sharply ahead for ‘the honors,’ as well as a few other anwious gents, yet those notorious chaps who have ‘blowed,’ must. be met, and to do that, the Seniors at large must suffer the consequences, although we did the mischief, “Gentlemen, with your permission, I will now read the hasty production:— “WHO PAINTED COLONEL BLAKE’S BEAST? Written in Hippocatalectic and Paintameter Verse, “ Who painted the Colonel's beast? We did, the Seniors said, All enswerlng 1 a head, We painted the Colonel's beast, “Who painted his body? I, says HOTOD, ct After swigging brandy toddy, I painted bis body. 4 f 4 Gomichboo Salo) nN anny? sane a I A ta