Beadle's New York Dime Library No. 32 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

li a i at ane 8 ‘* Never mind our looks, gentlemen, for we have got one of the greatest adventures to re- late ever heard of. Ah! I’ve untied it, at last. now, uncle, give us a lift here, and we'll show you the watermelons, as is watermelons,’” cried Ogleish. At it they went, when, lo and behold, out roiled about nine of the largest and greatest pumpkins you ever saw! ‘‘There, what do you say now, uncle?” sin- cerely inquired Ogleish. “My God!’ yelled out old “Fat Sam,” full of laughter. ‘Wal, skin mo if they ain’t ‘some pumpkins’ and no mistake!” : ‘*Ohb, crackie!” roared out Dan. By this time Keeler was rolling about the floor, laughing away as though he would split his sides. He would eye the pumpkins for a moment, then be would give a yell and a kick, and the way he would roar out was a caution. Dan and his company were highly elated, but the three victims looked green ! **What’s the matter with all of you? Fact, youu all act as though the devil were in you! Speak up, Ogleish.” ‘Yes; what the d—1 are you all laughing at?’ asked Joe. “Why, Lor’s sake ! they are big green pump- kins ! They ain’t watermelons,” bawled out Keeler. ** Are they?” innocently asked one of them. **Ha! ha! ha!” cried out the old man. ‘What a sweet sell /” exclaimed Ogleish. Here the whole party roared again. “Then examine that,” observed Keeler, after he had split one with an ax, “This is a pretty how-do-you-do,” said oné of the immortal three. ‘‘ But give us some- thing to drink, mighty quick.” “Yes, we need something immediately,” in- terposed Ogleish, who looked ‘sheepish ” enough. “How did you make such a mistake? was it very dark?’ asked the old gentleman, with a smile. ‘Very, uncle. Ob, curse the luck! Tl never hear the last of this, I suppose. But Pll tell you all about it.” * But hold up,” cried out Uncle Sam— ‘* Where on earth is Jogglés? Didn’t he go with you?’ ‘‘-Yes, he’s on the road somewhere.” ‘“*What, behind, yet?’ “Bring on the hot water, unclé, and then T’ll tell you the whole story,” replied Ogleish, as he held tumbler and liquor in his hand. This was a high scene of merriment. ‘Gentlemen, [ll tell you. Yesterday after- noon I rode out with a young lady, and as we were returning into town, I happened to ob- serve a large field of watermelons, hard by a tract of woods. The young lady said that they were watermelons, and so did I—” ‘“‘That’s as much as ‘ Lize’ knéw.” “Thank you, Dan, it was not Miss Eliza.” ete ‘Miss Pump, then, Pll bet.” ‘* Better call it Miss Pump-kin,” added Har- ry, as he gazed upon the nine pumpkins. ‘‘ Well, gentlemen, say what you please. I stopped the horse, got out, and markéd the course from the road with my pocket compass, so as to be able to find them from a certain point at midnight, when we went after them. The distance was about three good miles from here. Wouldn’t you call it so, Peter?’ ‘“‘ Just about three miles, Ogleish.” “Well, after we left your placé, to-night, uncle, we hired Bill Jinks’s old horsé and lum- ber wagon, on the sly. We were to walk out of town apiece, and he was to meét us with it. He did so, and then he came back. We four started off for the cruise. When we reached my old place where I took the course from the road with my pocket compass, we hitched the horse to a fence, and then started for the wa- termelon field. Westruck it.” ‘‘Ha! ha! ha!” roared forth the company. ‘‘Never mind, hear me through. We piled them in the bag. Peter out with his knife to try that big one on the floor there, and as it was a hard-shell one he broke it.” - “ There's four shillings gone,” he said. ‘‘When we got them in the bag, and all tied up, we started for the road, but such traveling you never saw before. We had to wade through brooks, pass through swampy wet land, mud and ditches.” ‘Should say so, by the looks of you three fellows,” interrupted Dan. “When we got the bag into the wagon, Beadle’s Dime Library. —$—$ Joggles turned the old horse’s head toward home, and off we came—” “Who drove?’ interrupted Sam. “Well, Joggles did. We come along the road pretty fast for about a mile, when the horse stopped, all of a sudden, and that, too, at the foot of a long hill, when we were skim- ming over the ground at the rate of twelve miles the hour. The sudden stoppage turned Joggles right on the old nag’s back, and I went after him, while the other two fellows lay sprawling abanut the wagon. “ But we all got out to see what was the matter, while Joggles swore away like a pi- | rate, that he’d smashed two or three of his ribs. | We found that the old horse was backing, and | had no notion of going ahead, nowhere.” | “Ha! ha! ha!” roared forth the aesembly, | wh» felt in a very laughing mood. ‘* Here’s a pretty go,” said Joggles. ‘“We took him by the bits—we pulled, we coaxed, we pushed, all four of us doing our | best; but it was no use—he was balky as thun- der, and wouldn't go ahead ons inch. This was about half-past three o’clock this morn- ing.” ‘No, no; half past one,” interrupted one of his ‘‘ pumpkin ” comrades. "Yes, half-past one, I should have said. Well, in about one hour’s time, the horse took it into his head to start off in a hurry, so we four were obliged to get in, or tumble in, as we could, fearing thatif we stopped him for that purpose, the ornery beast would stop for good. Wecame along for about half a mile under the jump, yes, at a smashing lick, up the hill and down, and then there was no such thing as ‘holding him in.’ As we came down a hill, under a full head of steam, the wheels sometimes barely touching the ground, and the beast snorting ahead, he stopped all of a sud- den, and out goes Joggles, sprawling.” This made the company laugh. Ogleish told it ina very amusing way. ‘‘There we were,” he continued. “All of us began to swear, and yet that did no good, for we had to deal with an awful balky nag. After coaxing, patting, pushing and fretting, we all got into the wagon, and then waited patiently for a go. He finally went about forty rods, and then he took it into his head to stop. Here we were all standing once more. ‘‘ Finally, after he bad fussed about for some time, we concluded that we had better take the bag on our shoulders, and foot it into town. Joggles, who is an ornament to our society, and a fellow who never yields, openly declared that he would have the best of the horse, any- how, and so advised us three fellows to come on ahead, and he would remain to get the horse and wagon home, So, this being understood, we three have backed this long heavy bag; and now to think that we Southerners have been ‘taken in’ by a lot of Northern pumpkins, for Carolina watermelons !” “Oh Lord,” shouted out old Sam, who séemed to be full of laughter. “ That’s rich,” said Dan. “Then ‘Joggles,’ undoubtedly is still on the road?” asked Sam. **Somewhere ; but give me some more brandy, uncle,” said Ogleish. ‘“‘Immiediately ; Joggles will be here soon, then?” ‘*Can’t tell about that; it will be just as the old horse says. If Jog. takes it into his head to get the best of him, he'll wait there all night and all day, for you know he asks no odds of nobody—the Faculty in particular, He'll kill the horse, before he would yield.” When Ogleish had concluded, Uncle Sam laughingly remarked: . **T guess, boys, I can afford to open a new box of cigars on the strength of this night’s tour.” ‘‘ Ah, that’s right, do.” ‘‘ Wish Jog. was here; but all’s right with him, for he took a flask of my brandy with him.” “Did he?” . “Yes he did, Ogleish.” “There, I'll bet he’s ‘tight’ by this time,” said one of the circle. : ‘Never mind, he’s a ‘trump,’ isn’t he?” “Yes, he’s all that,” rejoined Dan. One hour passed, but no Joggles had arrived. Daylight would soon dawn. Time passed, and yet he came not. They soon adjourned, save Dan and his clique, as business called them else- where. Morning came, and the god of day rose from his nocturnal couch. Ogleish and his com- panions were at prayers in due time, but the immortal Joggles was missing. After prayers they went to his room, but the bed had been undisturbed, Breakfast came, and yet Jog- gles’s chair was vacant. , ‘*What do you think has become of him?’ ask: d Ogleish cf his companion, Joe. **Can’t imagine.” ‘‘He must have got ‘tight,’ on the strength of that flask of brandy.” “Very likely; and then fell asleep. Nat has been down to Uncle Keeler’s, but he said he had not seen him.” “Very strange, isn’t it?’ asked Ogleish. * Perhaps he has got kicked to death by the horse,” said Joe, with a half-hidden smile, Some little time after this, as a good num- ber of students stood about the college discuss- ing various matters, quite a racket was heard in the street, when, in a twinkling, there ap- peared the renowned and comical looking Jog- gles, with reins tight in hand, his head hatless, driving the old balky horse under a dead run, while the old lumber wagon made a roaring and buzzing noise. He was evidently “ tight,” quite so, and therefore was in one of his fear- less moods, for he turned suddenly and rushed the old horse into the large college yard, yell- ing loudly, and laying back in fine style, as though he imagined he was running ‘ Mos- cow,” “Lady Suffolk,” or the celebrated “Flora Temple.” The wagon was loaded with green pumpkins and smull stones. As he appeared in the yard in this truly comical manner, all hands began to laugh im- moderately. He yelled at the-nag, a la Mose, took a wide sweep about the yard, while the poor beast planted his big feet down quick, and panted short; and wishing, ro doubt, to dis- play his Jehu-like tact of horsemanship, he sud- denly turned ‘the critter” short on the bit, when over went the old wagon, pumpkins, wood and stones, followed by long-legged Jog- gles himself, head over heels with a rush. Ina twinkling, the poor frightened horse dashed off down the street, with the four wheels of the wagon attached to him; and a score of voices ye'led, ‘‘ Whoa!” ‘Stop horse!” ‘f Look out!’ Whoa!’ “No bones broken!” cried out Joggles, as he picked bimself up from among the stones and pumpkins, among which he bad been so uncer- emoniously pitched. Had the poor fellow been killed outright, many of the students could not have desisted from laughing, as the scene was so grotesquely comical. Joggles was pretty “tight,” and he looked as though he had had a hard siege of it. ‘““Where the d—l have you been, eh?” in- quired an ‘ outsider,” % ‘*None of your bus-bus-business, you, you dilapidated Junior,” said Joggles, as he began to “‘ gather ” himself up. , ‘Been taking a drive before breakfast?” mis- chievously asked another ‘‘ youtb.” “Shut up! you green Freshman,” enjoined Joggles with much force. “Come, come, get to your room before any of the Faculty see you,” whispered Ogleish, who took him by the arm, ‘‘Hold up!” cried Jog., ‘‘ who's afraid of the the-the-the Faculty? Old Louisiana’s son can look out for himself, yes-sir-ree, sir, he-he-he can.” “But come on, Joggles, and don’t act so.” “Get out! Who’s afraid, Ogleish; I ain’t, Hasn’t some one of the Faculty wrote to my mother that she must take me-me-me home, or ‘| else [ must be ex-ex-expelled? Id like to see the whole batch of. ’em undertake to force me away from this re-re-re-renowned and glo-glo- glorious institution—I would! Shall I obey- obey them, or-or-or shall I o-obey my mother? That’s the question, and a ques-ques-question it is on the square, and no mis-mis-mistake. She sent me here—she did, boys—yes, the old la- la-dy, my mother, forced me, her only dar-dar- dar-ling son, to grad-grad-graduate here at ‘Old Yale,’ and ain’t I going to? I’m thinking I will—I’m-!’m-I’m thinking Jam. My mother gave me birth, and it’s my du-du-du-duty to listen to her kind voice, and to—” “Oh, shut up your gab, Joggles, and come with me to your room,” stoutly interposed Tim and Ogleish. , «But sha’n’t I, ain’t it my du-du-du-duty to mind the old la-la-dy? Ain't it law and gos- gos-gospel, eh?’ Joggles was very “tight.” They made out to get him to his room, It tickled the by- Gomichdoo <SiG (0)