Beadle's New York Dime Library No. 32 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

f , B’hoys of Yale. 3 New York had a “‘ perfect bully,” one of the scions of the ‘‘ bloody Sixth,” who was for making all kinds of motions, in this way— ‘*Let’s go on a time!” ‘‘Let’s get tight!” ‘*Let’s raise the d—l somewhere!” and similar spirited propositions, peculiar to jhat lively locality. He always begged for excitement. He was ‘‘ awful papers.” New Jersey had no rightful son to represent her, so a youth hailing from the middle of Texas took New Jersey upon his own shoulders. He was a hard boy. ‘ Fight” was his sole aim, and a rxocturnal excursion his delight. He was a thorough Texas boy. He wore mourn- ing on his hat, in behalf of a lot of poor fellows who were shot in Texas. Pennsylvania had a big, fat, strapping chap, to look well after her interests. He was full of ‘‘new ideas.” He had his peculiarities— always hungry, and much addicted to cram- ming an excellent quantity on a strict examin- ation. Hewasverycorpulent. His legs looked as though his body had been down between them, and afterward pried up with a lever. Delaware was very lucky. Her delegate was a ‘‘minister’s son,” remarkable for admin- istering ‘‘severe punishments” in a melee. He was young, but a very old chap in his manners. Maryland had a young Baltimorean, who was eager for ‘‘oyster suppers,” and a ‘‘ good time.” He was a valuable member, so far as *‘the pocket” was concerned, and found “‘needful’”? on great emergencies. He would match himself against any person in the world, playing at chess. Virginia had a glorious, generous, warm- hearted son, with a vein of humor as rich and deep as his own virgin soil. All the girls loved the ‘‘ young Virginian.” North Carolina had a loud son to represent her affairs in this renowned and independent society. He was a tall, lean, lank covey, who was some at a speech, When he perambu- lated, it was with racing rapidity, as if anx- ious to outstrip his nasal protuberance.. He had a big heart, and a full pocket. Politics he discussed at large. South Carolina had a hot-headed scion, who feared not the Faculty. He was the son of a very wealthy planter, young and handsome. Pistols, pretty women, and good wine, were the ‘‘gods of his idolatry.” His reasoning powers were great. He boasted of what he would one day receive from two rich aunts— a plantation and a coal mine, Georgia was handsomely defended. He was for a ‘‘good time,” was death on the Greek, Hebrew in particular—could sing a good song and tell a ‘“‘blood and thunder” story. He was always ready to ‘‘match pennies” with any one, or “ play a game at all-fours.” Dog fights he gloriously enjoyed. Florida had a little curly-headed chap, who was the pet of all the Society. The little fel- low was very bow-legged; so much so that his little pipe-stem legs made one-third of the bands of the town-clock, when it wanted ten minutes of two! He had money in abun- dance, and spent it like a prince. Alabama was lucky. The President of the “Philistine Society ’’ hailed from that cotton- growing State. He was a ‘‘plain-spoken young man,” and yet, serious as was his ugly phiz, he was a ‘buck,” and no mistake. Liquor and cigars he always kept in his room, for his friends, and he relished good company and good wine, with the gusto of a gour- mand. Mississippi’s son was a whole-souled fellow. He was an especial defender of ‘‘ brandy- punches,” and ‘‘egg-nog.” Although he had a hard, Indian look, he had both principle and policy enough to rival, if not excel, many of his compeers. He had very big, black eyes; wore his hair in curls, and stood ‘‘six feet two.” He was always boasting of the pro- digious size attained by alligators, in his part of the country. Louisiana’s child was aremarkable one. He was for having a “‘good bender,” a little too often. ‘Whisky, raw brand, and gin-cock- tails,” he gloriously worshipped. He went by the name of ‘‘Joggles,” and he came to Yale because his mother made him! When he went to make a speech, or tell a story, or back a motion, Joggles was, as a general thing, ‘‘ quite tight.” He was one of those tall, slim-built fellows, who looked innocent as the Babe of Bethlehem in the face, and as serious as an as- tronomer during an eclipse. Yet he was a fine scholar, and one of the best of fellows. He was fearless and independent, Ohio was represented by a person who was ‘fall fora horse;” and when he talked he acted as though he had a bolting-mill in his throat. He was always ready to exclaim, when there was any betting going on, ‘‘I’ll bet 15 cents.” This was as high as he ever ventured. But Tim was ‘fone of the people.” Some called him ‘‘ Fatty,” because he appeared like a huge apple-dumpling; and when he walked, his coat- tail flapped in and out like the tail of a river- snipe. Kentucky loomed up. A ‘‘six-footer” de- fended the noble State, and yet he was inside of two-and-twenty. He was smart. “ Roar- er,” as he was called, could talk all night to a crowd; and, aside from good speeches, could get the premium for a capital ‘‘ Western yarn.” He looked wild, yet he was one of the best of boys. Tennessee had a “‘ hard boy.” He neversaid much, save admiring and talking about the ladies. This was his highest theme. He was great for granting a loan, when others were ‘*dead-broke,’”’ Applications were frequent, and always duly honored. When asked why he spent so much money, he would say, in re- ply, ‘‘Father’s rich, and mother owns ‘the Willows!” ‘“Jed” only waited on good- looking women. His ready loans were handy. Michigan was represented by an odd-looking genius, who bore the euphonious appellation of *‘ She-cargo.” In dress he was very careless and rough; always anxious to ‘lick some- body,” or ‘‘try a side-hold.” He came to Yale expressly to please a ‘‘rich old uncle, and nothing shorter.” Whittling sticks and chew- ing tobacco, were two of his great treats. ‘‘She-cargo” looked rather odd in dress, but his mind was fertile—his heart a big one. Illinois had a queer representative. His elo- quence was considerably below par, but this deficiency was amply made up by his dram- atic powers; and the current of his thoughts ran in the direction of a flowing bumper. His coin flowed as freely as his wine, and he proved himself on all occasions a sterling and high-mettled fellow. He came to Yale because it was fashionable, Missouri’s representative was a stout, cross- eyed chap, who went in for all manner of deviltry. He was ‘‘on the borrow ”’ to a con- siderable extent, ‘‘until he could hear from honie,” Madam Rumor used to say that he used to ‘write home” often. Arkansas had a “blood and thunder” son. The principal topic of conversation with him was playing at cards, horse-racing, marrying Creole girls, and ‘Southern principles.” He was a perfect master of bowie-knives and sword-canes. His name was ‘ Bloody.” He was rough in his ways, but a noble fellow at heart. The President of the “ Philistine Scciety,” on taking the chair, addressed his audience in the following manner : **Gentlemen:—An Alabamian thanks you from the bottom of his heart for the honor conferred on him. We are now a band of brothers, constituting a circle of twenty-six in- dividuals, each hailing as representatives of the twenty-six States of this glorious Union. Our primary object, gentlemen, cum multis aliis, is to cause reform wherever it be needed with- in the circumference of our sphere, and pro bono publico to rebut the charges which have oftentimes been made against us, individually and collectively. As these charges have in- creased tenfold of late, we have taken it upon ourselves to unbutton our eyelids, to wake up, and to know something more of these unfound- ed allegations; and hold, as it were, an iron rod over the heads of the ignobile pecus who would trample us beneath their swinish hoofs. “‘Gentlemen, who are we? Boasting is un- called for. Wecome from the four classes, and we rejoice to ‘‘take into our fold” Fresh- men, as well as Juniors, or Seniors, or Sopho- mores. We are all wide-awake disciples of mischievous and innocent amusements, and, hereafter, are bound to stand aloof from other cliques or societies, and what is more, to rule them all. In this respect, let our motto be what itis respecting our beloved country at large, ‘We know no superior but God alone.’ **Gentlemen, you are doubtless aware of our principles. As a Society, we are no cowards— no hypocrites—but bold, fearless and consis- tent. Our Constitution, our By-Laws, each of you understand. Hereafter, we rule the . students. Of our influence with the Faculty, we will say nothing, leaving them to look out for themselves—as we shall for the conse- ” This plain, common-sense speech, from the lips of a young gent of about two-and-twenty, was warmly received and indorsed. ‘‘Mr. President,” said Roarer, of Kentucky, who was the Vice-President of the said Socie- ty, ‘‘We must put matters right straight through, and I am thinking that we can carry our points about as easy as rolling off a log. For one, Roarer stands ready to do his part. Although I am quite a tall member among you, I suppose it would be advisable for me to talk quite lowly, for fear that one of my ‘ Western yells’ might escape outside. ‘‘Gentlemen, there are some ‘ choice scions’” springing up amid the good and evil fruit, here, at Yale; and, from all appearances, Na- ture has done much for them. And, gentle- men, allow me to remark, while speaking fig- uratively, that certain airy gents must be brought down. Even the Adjunct Professor of Mathematics should be ‘lowered’ a little. A certain member of the Junior class needs advice, in the shape of a slight Aint; while there are other reforms much needed. Sev- eral Seniors are ‘strappingly’ abusive. Upom all such creatures we must open rich, and let them understand that we are indeed ‘ Philis- tines,’ of the old, original school. “‘Gentlemen, you are all aware that a re- port has gained publicity concerning this So ciety, the particulars of which are unknown, however. Know nothing, gentlemen, be mum outside of our ranks, and let it be based upon one word, ignorant—dark—close as an oyster. That we have many enemies, we know; yet, as it happens, we ‘carry too many guns for them.’ They must, methinks, be always man- fully met, face to face, Those students who are jealous because they are ‘not of us,’ are the very identical scapegraces who gave pub- licity to the report; and, sir, for their narrow contractedness, they must be amply ‘rewarded.’ ‘*Gentlemen, I have one of these bills with me, and for the edification of all, I will read it, so as to show the depth of this reigning jeal- ousy, now existing. ‘““¢NOTICE—MORE MISCHIEF. ***Be on your guard! Look out for the do ings of a new Secret Society. Be watchful! It is a clique of Yale Callege students, who have (in the dark) no regard for decency. Citizens! all kinds of deviltry they intend to enact. Weknow them! Their designs have been foretold. Watch them! Watch them, good people!’ ‘“‘This, gentlemen, is one of the placards spread before the public by a lot of jealous, two-faced students, Let us in our ‘ Important — Items of the Week,’ return the fire.” ‘‘That’s the talk,” exclaimed Snhe-cargo, of Michigan, as Roarer sat down, “ Give ’em fits,” added Jed, of Tennessee. At this time, a five-gallon demijohn was placed on the table that stood in the center of the chamber. Bloody, of Arkansas, made @ motion that before proceeding any further, the whole company should ‘‘imbibe” some of “‘Old Keeler’s best brandy.” ; They did so, to a man—each indulging in his peculiar vein of witticism, interspersed with grotesque classic allusions, and pungent epigrams, at the expense of their enemies, which were unanimously resolved to be pre- served in ‘Attic salt,” and carefully lodged in the archives of the Society. Bacchus, bim- self, had he been present, would have joined in the jollification, even though the ‘drinks’ were “light.” Ogleish, the high member from Georgia, took the liberty of “‘freeing his mind,” after they had all digressed, by drinking during ‘‘meeting hours.” He was a tall, slim, sap- ling-built fellow, and one who, from his own personal looks alone, was sure of commanding respect and attention. He had very waggish eyes. ‘“‘Gentlemen,” said the happy chap, in a stentorian voice, ‘I rise, but there is no need of me telling you of it, for you see that ’m up, at least those who can see. Perhaps Ti of Ohio, may be bothered a little, as he is rather near-sighted. “T'll bet fifteen cents I can,” yelled out Tim, in an easy, smiling mood. ‘‘Gentlemen, I’m glad to see you, and if I wasn’t I would say so, for I am no such man. Gomichoo <SiGO