Beadle's New York Dime Library No. 32 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

2 ————————————————SSSSSFSSSeSeSeSeSeSsSsSeeSe Beadle’s Dime Library. either old Mrs. Johnson’s or Mrs. Dewesenber- ry’s, and they’ll get it all, eh?” “Very likely, as they keep the gossip-run of every thing.” * Well,” said the Judge, ‘I'd like to know whoamong\them stole my water-melons, Good- . day, Squire.” ' "Good-day, Judge.” And they parted. As handbills had been posted about the streets, intimating that this new society in- tended to be ‘‘ very notorious,” the report gained quite a hold, in a short space of time. ‘Oh, Mrs, Lewistown—oh, my! The—the —the pesky students! but do let me sit down and breathe a moment, before I express my in- dignation!” exclaimed a short, crooked-backed woman, who was a notorious ‘“ town’s-gab- bler.” ‘Pray, Mrs. Johnson, dear soul, what's the matter?’ excitingly inquired another one, of the same school. ‘‘ Matter? matter enough, Mrs. Lewistown. I think it’s too bad, to be so imposed upon—I do!” and the little-eyed woman began to snivel like a flogged urchin. . ‘Have them pesky students being playing more tricks upon you?’ interposed her friend. ‘*No, no, dear Mrs, Lewistown; yet I fear ’em—TI fear ’em now. It’s made me very nery- ous—very. I’m afraid they will be worser and worser, and worser.and worser, arter this —I do,” said the widow, in a most lamentable tone. “You think so, eh? Now, why?” asked her friend. “Oh, a lot of them are devils have had a big convention, and have sworn each member in to do all kinds of things of evil deeds, and then to let nobody know it. Only think of that!” ‘Lor’ sakes! you don’t say so, Mrs. John- son?” ““Yes, for I met old Anderson, just now, and he told me all; and says he to me—‘ Seri- ously, Poll Johnson, you'll have to sleep with one eye open, or else they may take it into their heads to blow youand your house to the d before you could say Jack Robinson; and so—and so, I’m right down here, to tell you all, dear Mrs, Lewistown.” ‘‘Bless your dear, kind soul,” replied the woman, ‘‘du tell!” “Yes, he said so—so—so,” and the fidgety little woman boo-hooed at a great rate. Now, Mrs. Johnson was a queer kind of a female character. Her great aim was to run about town and ‘tell the news,” to about forty old women, all whom carried on a continual train of low gossip, and were questionable ‘‘gabblers.” Family quarrels sie gloried in, and whenever she could make trouble, Mrs. Johnson, or, in other words, ‘‘ Poll Johnson,” was gloriously pleased, for she was then per- fectly at home. This little, hump-backed, one- eyed widow lived in a very little house, solus, (about fifteen-by-twenty) and her business was on as small a scale as her own little mind. She vended milk and eggs, but her dealings were not of a very eggstensive character, ‘Look out, women-folks and all good peo- ple, for any quantity of scrapes, arter this,” she bawled, just as she rushed into another house, holding a little green hood in her slim, bony hand, “ for a big gang of student scamps have mixed themselves up to insult us women —us maidens—us widows—us everybody; and they intend to do just as they please, against God, against law, against morality, and vir- tue.” ** No—impossible!”’ yelled out Mrs. Dewesen- berry. ‘“Tt’s so; yes, yes, and ax no odds of Squire Binks, or Lawyer Eversan, or Parson Boo, or Deacon Coo, or even of the ‘College-larnt’ fellows.” ‘‘ Lor’ sakes!’ ‘‘Keep your eyes open, arter this, especially when you sleep, if you can, Mrs. Dewesenberry, dear.” Now, Mrs. Dewesenberry was a sister of Mrs. Johnson, and both looked alike, acted, lied alike—in fact, went together, and were known as the two ‘“‘she-devils.” Both were on the wrong side of thirty, and exact counter- parts in mind and manners. Darn ’em! they'll get fotched up yet, Poll Johnson; yes, they will, Id like to know the ringleader, and ob, wou!dn’t I wollop him? ithink I would. Poll, ’d like to know who broke the lock to my front door, one night in the dead of winter, unhung it, and laid ib down upon the wooden steps, and wrote on it with- red chalk, in big, flashy letters: «Dear Mrs. Dewesenberry, as bad air is bad for the health, and as you need a change, we open a fresh current,’” amounting to this: The Society was to be per- fectly independent of all others; to rule, as a general thing, and yet remain secret in all | their own moyements, and profoundly igno- | rant when questioned outside of said circle, **Buy a big dog, Tild—buy a big one, asI’m , The members, in such cases, were to know bound to,” said Poll Johnson, in a stout tone. “* Darn their pictures!” and after Mrs. Dewes- enberry had shook her little head, she hand- ed over to ‘‘sister Poll” the old family tin snuff-box. This amiable pair were what is generally called ‘grass widows;” they were excessively fond of a pinch, in which they indulged to so great an extent as to acquire the sobriquet of ‘*a pair of snuffers.” ‘None of ’em had better dare to nail up an- other sign over the front door of. my house—a big, wholloping sign, in big letters: ““* Fresh Milk and new laid Eggs, by Mrs. Poll Johnson.’” ‘‘No, they had better pot, for I’d State’s- prison ’em—lI[ would! Tild, dear, if I thought Bill Snapes’s son Ben had a hand in doing that ‘ere nasty trick, my eyes if I wouldn’t go all about towr, and tell everybody I could, that the whole Snapps family live on codfish and potatoes, whole weeks at a time, eh?” ** And I'd help, too,” added Tild. ‘*P'd tell all about how old Snapps made his money—the old pirate—and how Mrs. Snapps worked out, when a girl, on a big farm, for her victuals and clothes: and, gaul darn it! I'd tell how the ‘ little Snappses have the scratches,’ every summer, eh?’ “That’s it, Poll, and I’d swear to it, too; yes, [ would—I would.” ‘And Id raise a desperate time, I would, dear Mrs. Dewesenberry. Id fix ’em off for what they’ve done tome ; yes, and who cares if they have got money? I’m going to see Squire Binks about it; and I’m just going to the Faculty too, of Yale College, and I’m going to know who made, who painted, and who nailed that ’ere sign on my house—I be!” roared out the excited Mrs. Johnson. **So I would, sister.” *‘f can stand a good deal, but when I’m so imposed upon—yes, we virtuous widows— then my temper is touched, and I’m flash, flash, flash. Vl go to law about it, just as soon as [ can find out who didit. If people abroad are going to send their sons among a virtuous community, to raise and kick up the very devil, they must mind what they are about, yes they must. But I'll go and consult the law—that I will.” On her way to another neighbor’s house, Mrs. Poll Johnson happened to meet Parson Boo, (on a Saturday afternoon) walking up the street, ‘‘slow, sure, and reverential,” with cot- ton umbrella in hand. She seized him by the arm: ‘‘Elder, have you heard the news?” she asked the crane-necked divine. ** Don’t, Mrs. Johnson, don’t speak of world- ly things, when the Sabbath is so near at hand,” groaned he, in a deep, sepulchral tone, which would have thrown Burton’s Aminadab Sleek completely into the shade. “Why, lor’ sakes, Parson Boo, ’tain’t but just about sundown!” ejaculated the old lady, with much * fire and fury.” ‘Ah! eh! yes!’ moaned forth the Parson, and passed on, ‘‘ with solemn pace and slow.” ** Lor’ me, how strict! Wonder if he’s called on Miss Broker lately? Ob, the sly old scamp in white neck-cloth. Tl fix you, yet, I will!” and saying this in a low tone, she gave him one good hard twisted look, and then hobbled on. LIBER II. LET us now inquire into the particulars of the “ PHILISTINE SOCIETY.” Aside from the many rumors respecting the mysterious body, the truth of the matter was, that although the Juniors, Sophomores, and Freshmen, headed by the Seniors, had their own private or sect societies, by themselves, an independent society was formed, out of all their circles, and in good faith. Out of the en- tire body of students, twenty-six were selected —a number equal to that of the States in the Union, at that time. Some of these gentle- men were chosen from the other secret cliques, thereby giving an ascendency to this party. _A Constitution, together with By-Laws, Rules and Regulations in general, were duly formed and put into requisition, tho whole matter ‘To be ever ready to defend a brother nothing ! When the Society had been duly organized, | each member having been sworn in, their _meetings were held privately in a certain place, some three-quarters of a mile from the College, and, to use their own language, was | “admirably located.” As the number was | small, only twenty-siv, the selections made had been thorough, and somewhaf partial. None but the ‘‘ biggest devils” were chosen, the first and highest scions coming from the North, South, East and West. This was decidedlya rich move. It was a powerful company throughout, and, it was very singular, every member happened to be the son of some weal- thy and distinguished gentleman. Seven had been chosen from the Senior class—some ten from the Juniors—some four from the Fresh- men—and the rest from the Sophomores, All were ‘‘perfect bricks,” to use an old phrase; all possessed the required metal. Gloriously did each one stand ready to vie with his brother members, in enacting all rules and regulations; and, for the edification of our readers, we will note a few of the most impor- tant points: ‘*To stand treat, whenever it was due a member.”’ ‘* Pay promptly all fines imposed.” ‘** Never ‘ back down,’ or withdraw from the Society, on account of some trivial matter.” ‘‘ Never deceive the Society.” ** Be prompt, and always ready to assist in all operations, when called upon by a ‘two- third-vote,’ ” “To remain mum when among ‘outsid- ers,’ ” member.” ‘To swear in bebalf of each other.” “To work to assist, to defend the Order,” etc., etc., etc. Before the formation of this Society, several members had been expelled from Yale Co!- lege, for divers reasons. As much mischief and deviltry had been done, of a highly insult- ing nature, regardless; of all consequences, tho ‘* Philistines ’ took it upon themselves to check at once all such movements—at a certain rate. At the first meeting every member was present. As the eye of an observer glanced about upon the sights and scenes presented, it was evident that each member claimed to be fully considered ‘‘one of the people.” All were young men, ranging in years from seven- teen to one-and-twenty. Maine was represented by a young, rough- looking fellow, of about eighteen, who did not seem to ask odds of any one, His back was | like a loaf of brown bread—all in a heap. | New Hampshire was represented by a short, thick-set youth, who, in whatever he under- took, was as firm as the granite hills. The poor fellow was subject to night-sweats the whole year round. At least, this was his own declaration, made to his many chums. Geolo- gy was his great theme. Vermont had a ‘tearing fellow,” and no mistake. He was a brilliant child—and a no- ble judge of horse-flesh, He was smart. He doted and jabbered away continually about ** West Point.” Massachusetts appeared in a steady, sedate- looking student, who was sedate, yet full of fun and frolic when fairly started. He wasa deep thinker. His little eves stuck away back in his head, always looking as though he was trying to bring them out, so as to observe something new. Rhode Island, although a small piece of land extending out into the sea, was represent- _ed by a young men who was full of fun as an egg is of meat, but was too clever to fight. Hoe could plan sufficient deviltry for all hands, and on a purely scientific scale. His judgment was excellent. He was always wishing to find some heiress with whom he could elope. Connecticut had a bright and learned son; one fresh from Litchfield county—the seat of law—who was full of ‘‘ gas,” and was there- fore an excellent ‘‘ blower.” He wasa team for whistling, telling ghost stories, and writing poetry. He doted about bis fashionable parents, and what a handsome sister he had, (ECON ALE “CS J00 CO