The Argosy — page 391: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

368 A Parson’s Flitting. It was a relief when the house was clear ; and we were able to ex- temporise beds and blinds, and to make cheerful fires of the twigs which chattering jackdaws had obligingly popped down the yawning chimneys. ‘here were other creatures who also favoured an old house vacant during many months. ‘The hollow walls, rotten wainscot, and a huge, unlighted roof, proved a capital playground for rats and mice. From numerous holes in the floors and closets we expected the vermin : but it was not until the candles were extinguished, and we were each in our own solitary bed on the floor, that the wakeful wretches began their gambols. From a hole near the hearth a pair of bright little eyes were discernible, then another and another, with a sharp squeak or two. Just as if each mouse, after furtively peeping, had been drawn back by the tail by its tiny brother with the remark ‘ now let me have a look.” Presently a tap at the door by a lady who might remain calm ‘behind a runaway horse; but a runaway rat, that was too dreadful. Suppressing her emotion, she began in a stage whisper: ‘‘I don’t wish to alarm you, but I really #4zw& (here patter versus clatter overhead ; voice strengthened), in fact, I am pretty well swze (squeak close by ; voice rising to tremulous falsetto), there is a—vza¢ in my room.” Upon a hasty inspection, next morning, the furniture was not so badly injured as I expected, considering the rough handling it had received : but all the polish and repair possible will not make it look as it used to look in the old home. The chairs have a peculiar way of doubling under when sat upon ; the bedsteads have got the rickets ; swing-glasses are under no control; and a certain unaccountable looseness pervades the table legs. Matters are not improved by the unevenness of the oaken floors, which sink towards the centre, and the irregularity of the walls. Heavy furniture leans forward, sometimes to the detriment of doors and drawers; and the heads of my dear friends start and swing from the walls as if again being gibbeted by photography. Of course, callers come from a distance when least expected. I rush to the case where, anticipating such an occurrence, I had placed sundry bottles of sherry. When decanting, the cork comes out all too easily ; that fact should have made me suspicious of the contents. Pale sherry, thought I; ow pale I did not stay to notice. I even ventured to remark, when pressing it on my visitors, that I was afraid I could not obtain any so free from acidity in this locality. One gentleman half emptied his glass; something between a sneeze and a cough followed. Ah, a little gone the wrong way, I surmised. We continued our conversation until the callers left. How strange that they had not finished their wine! Could it be brandy by mistake ? Oh, no! worse still. I had attempted to make some green grape wine last October. It had been quite forgotten ; and this was a stray bottle. I tasted the very pale sherry so free from acidity. Alas! it was worse than verjuice, COPMICLIOO KS EO Ln)