Puck — October 29, 1879 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. 541 AMID IMMENSE ENTHUSIASM. THE HON. JOHN AT BINGHAMTON AND IN NEW JERSEY. Last and Latest Reports from the ‘‘Herald” Commissioner. ALL FOR 10 CENTS. ( Tammany Hatt, {October 28th, 1878. Our boom is boomed. We are home again, and the great canvass is closed. All is in readiness for the election of the Hon. J. Kelly. We await that grand event in perfect faith. I promised that I would write you from Binghamton; but so electric was our success there that I got more or less electrified, my- self—so electrified, in fact, that I ceased to take any interest even in the great and ever- living controversy as to whether the name of that enterprising town is spelled with a p or without a 9. We were warmly welcomed at the Imbibers’ Home—better known as the Asylum for the Alcoholic, Indeed, it was all plain sailing. We found many old friends, and several members of our party could not tear themselves away from that happy home, and have engaged lodgings there permanently. We approached the guests of the Home ona cocktail basis, and at once secured their adhe- sion to the Truly Democratic principles repre- sented by the Hon. John, We have the signa- tures of all in the institution to attest this fact. We cut the said signatures off a temperance pledge in the superintendent's office. Inebriety is our friend. ‘These genial souls, secluded from a too ascetic world by the irra- tional popular prejudice against jim-jams, are all arrayed on the side of Kelly and free govern- ment. The line of the arrayed isa little erratic; but every man jack of them is loyal and thirsty. But Binghampton is way back on the path of glory. Greater triumphs have eclipsed the brilliancy of that one. It is no longer an insti- tution—a town—that we have captured. We have taken in a State, Yes, sir, a State. New Jersey is ours. Ours or Cornell’s—it makes no difference, Anything to beat Robinson. And of courre, Mr. Cornell will keep, after election, the promises he made before. Republi- cans are proverbially uncertain; but Mr. Cor- nell has said he would fix things, and he will. We crossed from New York to Ditto Jersey on Monday, and our route has been one con- tinual string of ovations. Trenton’s corrective institution stretched outssheltering arms to us, and Bergen Point actually yearned for our coming. In the upper part of the State, horny- handed farmers wept tears of joy as they saw us coming, and shed the brine of grief as we left. If 1 have got this thing mixed, impute it rather to enthusiasm than to Jersey apple-jack. All I know is, there were tears shed when we left. The farmers’ hearts were full, and their hen-roosts were empty. And so the great campaign is closed—ciosed | with a coup d’état that is literally a stroke for a State, The Detained of Justice, the Men- tally Off and the Habitually Inebriate are all won over to the cause—the combination cause of Kelly and Cornell. Hail to the genius of the Hon. John! The eternal principles of Truth and Tammany are Triumphant. P. S—Oct. agth.—Only, some low-down miscreant and hound has just come in to say that all our enthusiastic lunatics, inebriates, and Jerseymen HAVE NO VOTE. This is an element of uncertainty we had not taken into consideration. But what matters it? If they can’t vote for us, they can’t vote for Robinson. And at least we shall have disrupted the Democracy. SO HE DOES. ‘The Sun says that Alonzo Cornell, the Combination Candidate, looks like Gorce WaAsHINGTON. FITZNOODLE IN AMERICA. No. CXI. ENGAGED, Ya-as, I weally didn’t know that my sojourn in this countwy had cwe- ated such a sensa- tion. I find that J the fact of my be- ing engaged to Miss Marguerwite has waised quite a considerwable amount of curwiosity in me and the young woman. Ye see, it’s wathah an unusual thing faw an English fellaw in our set to have made arwange- ments faw a matwimonial alliance with an Amerwican young woman, although, as I have wemarked on severwal pwevious occasions, it has been done befaw. ; Lnevah entah any of the clubs now without all the membahs wemarking to one anothah, “Aw that is the fellaw who is going to marwy Miss Marguerwite.” It’s doosid disagweeable, although I do not let it twouble me much, because, on consider- wation, I wemembah that the exceedingly pwimitive society, of which club life he-ah is one of the charwacterwistics, has not been wendahed familiah with association with the wight set. I mean the set to which Jack and I belong to in Gweat Bwitain, and Miss Mar- guerwite, aw when she becomes the Honorwa- ble Mrs. Fitznoodle, will have the aw honah of enterwing. 1 have now the pwivilege of going out dwiv- ing or widing with the young woman, without exciting extwaordinarwy wemark, as often as | such wecweation is agweeable to her. I amal- so her wegulah attendant at the operwa. By the way, aw Mapleson is he-ah again with an operwa twoupe, but compwising no verwy gweat names, Howevah, I find that wherevah I wandah about with her we invarwiably weceive a gweat deal of unnecessarwy starwing at. I wondah | whethah the populace sces anything wemarka- bly stwange or attwactive in my appearwance ? But perwhaps they are attwacted by Miss Mar- guerwite's beauty. If this should pwove to be the case, I can’t exactly say I'm surpwised, and besides it’s wathah complimentarwy to my ex- cellent taste, even if it does only weceive ap- pweciation from a cwowd of ordinarwy Amer- wicans, The last time I expwessed my opinions with weferwence to my aw engagement, I observed that the date of the nuptial cerwemony had not yet been arwanged. No decision has been arwived at so far in the aw mattah, but—to use an Amerwicanism—I shall not wush things. Anothah thing which appe-ahs to afford con- siderwable anxiety to the wich people, who look upon themselves as leadahs of such society as is he-ah, is as to what countwy I shall take up as my permanent place of wesidence. OF course I can’t possibly say faw the pwe- sent, but, as Jack facetiously wemarked, I don't think it will be Austwia, Wussia, Pwussia, Gweece—aw nor Fwance. Perwhaps it will be Gweat Bwitain, and not impwobably Amer- wica, But Miss Marguerwite and I have not yet had any discussion about this comparwi- tively twivial mattah aw. Numbers 1, 2, 8, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 37, 48, 46 and 84 of Puck will be bought at this office, No. 21 & 23 Warren St, at 10 CENTS per copy; and Numbers 9, 14, 26, 58, 56 and 58 at 25 CENTS per copy. na In sending copies by mail please roll lengthwise. comicbooks.com