Puck — October 1, 1879 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE KBLLY CANVASS, PROGRESS OF THE HON. JOHN. SING SING SOLID. THE COUNTY COMPLETELY CAPTURED, ‘THE TRIUMPHAL CHARIOT BOOMING RIGHT ALONG.- TAMMANY TALKING. FURTHER FULL DETAILS FROM THE “HERALD” COMMISSIONER, se ALL FOR 10 CENTS. -oa Povcuxerpsie, N, Y., Sept. 30th, 1879. We have scooped Sing Sing, and it is ours! Yet this victory was not won without a strug- le, When I wrote you last we were encamped ive miles below Sing Sing. Between us and the goal of our progressive endeavors—a lordly pile on the river bank—was the domain of an unfriendly and energetic agriculturist, not a gentleman by any means, but a shot-gun oper- ator of remarkable precision and accuracy of aim. It pains me—literally and figuratively — to say that this person, on a mere poultry pre- text, refused to allow us to proceed on our more or less winding way. . Iscariotic Anti-Tammany principles are no- thing in themselves; but when backed up by a very obtrusive shot-gun they assume a solidity that brings out all the reserve fund of discre- tion that a man possesses, We consequently waited until that farmer had gone to dinner, before we advanced upon Sing Sing. But the Hon, John, with a stroke of that genuine genius which so grandly isolates him from all inferior leaders, utilized the delay by turning back down the river a few miles, to visit the famous Eleemosynary Insti- tution at Tarrytown, which the coarse Baxotians of the neighborhood call the Poorus. Here we had a little incidental triumph—a kind of a between-drinks triumph—which just served to whet our appetite for the greater tri- umphs in view. And yet 'tis no small victory to'win the suffrages of ten men, not one under ninety years of age, and several with a decay- ing interest in politics and ditto teeth, 'e reached Sing Sing late in the afternoon; but went to work with the promptitude charac- teristic of the institution we represent. Mr. Kelly's address to the undergraduates of the Sing Sing penal academy was received with a gravity that showed how deeply sensible of its value and importance was the audience before which he appeared. There was no up- roarious applause—no boisterous laughter. Mr, Kelly's auditors sat with their arms folded on PUCK. their breasts, and their eyes cast down—a cus- tom of the penal academy—and at the conclu- sion of his remarks they arose and passed out in single file, each man with his hands laid as if in blessing on the shoulders of the man in front of him—all except the foremost man, who had no other fellow’s shoulders on which to lay his hands as if in blessing, All the same, the greatest enthusiasm pre- vailed; and it seemed as if the inhabitants of the academy could not do enough to show their gratitude to Mr. Kelly for enlightening them on the great truths of political economy. It was not alone the students—one of the profess- ors was extremely anxious to present the orator of the any with a beautiful new summer suit, of a striking pattern in the line of stripes. Mr. Kelly, with characteristic modesty and magnan- imity, refused the flattering gift. In the female department of the Sing Sing college, where Mr. Kelly in person conducted his canvass, the interest excited was something abnormal. One lady, a kleptomaniac of many years standing, said that the principles enunciated by Mr, Kelly revealed her own character in a light wholly new even to herself. She said that, had she been brought up in the Tammany school, she would have been in Washington at that moment, a bright congressional lode-star, instead of a humble disciple at the feet of Moll the Cly-faker, Altogether it is quite safe to say that we have taken Sing Sing right into the fold. We are now at Poughkeepsie, and when 1 next write you I shall tell you the result of our election- eering in the Retreat for the Mentally Off. Till then, as Gussy Schell says: “ ‘Ta, tal”? THE THEATRES. “La Périchole” and “ la Fille de Madame Angot" are still having, at the Fier Avenue ‘Tneatre, full justice done them by Paola Marié and Angéle, Monsieur Capoul is also satisfactorily heard from. “ Our Daughters" is from the German, and we ought to be very much obliged to the German and Haverty's ‘ligarre for produc- ing it, for it is the Correct Ki-bosh in plays. Mr. Daty has produced one of his old suc- cesses, “ Divorce.” The exigencies of our Press arrangement prevent our noticing the performance this week, but that is no reason everybody should not flock to see the piece and Mr. Daly's handsome theatre, The “Crushed Tragedian" has succeeded “Brother Sam” at Mr, Abbey’s Park THeaTRe, one of the many houses that his able Briareus hands have the running of. Sothern is as im- mitably crushed as ever—as are many people who visit the theatre—and must still be a fear- ful menace to the Count Joannes, Mr. Bandmann, at the Stanparp, is now playing “Hamlet.” Asa thoughtful perform- ance, and one deserving more notice than we can now devote to it, we commend it, We take some little pride in this paragraph, however, as we haven't once called Haméet “the melan- choly Dane.” By the way, Mr. William Shaks- |- pere is the author, “Enchantment,” at Nipio's, does not give us much opportunity of slinging around any new phrases of satisfaction, but it is as gorgeous and attractive as ever, and as for the ballet and the newly imported Italian dancers—well, we think them awfully good. Rear-Admiral Sir Joseph Tooker, First Lord of the Admiralty Gilmore, and Messieurs the Brothers Kiralfy, are always on duty, at their respective posts, nightly and matinéely, Answers Foy the Anvions. Guino,—Gwe don't, Haseiting.—She did of walk, S, V. Nixon, Adrianopolis.—Certainly, we will read your poem with pleasure, Nothing gives us more delight than to read poems. So few people go in for that style of amusement that we rarely get a chance to feast on more than 671 poems in the course of a calendar month. Oh, we just batten on poems, we do. F. T. Roninson, Canal St, Boston.—Get the Lon. don Aunch, For one thing, it will suit your style of humor, For another, you will find therein an adver. tisement of Lamplough's Pyretic Saline, which, from its name, ought to be just the tonic which your system needs. You are phenomenally fresh; and we sadly fear that your respected mother does not know that you are out. Raconteur.—We don't care to have you raconte around these precincts. Your little tale might have amused Noah in the ark, if it hada't been the death of Abel at an earlier epoch. Yes, we are not sure that it has ever been mentioned before; but the real reason for Cain slugging his brother was a horrid imbecile way that Abel had of telling that very anecdote over and over again. Ol course we do not exactly like to go agin scripture, but we can’t help acknowledging that we think Cain was more than two-thirds justifiable in his handiness with the billy, LL. L.—Please don’t cling too closely to the errone- ous idea that the three-cent stamp which you have so liberally enclosed will induce us to write you a letter ex- plaining why we dislike General Butler as a candidate for the Governorship of Massachusetts, We have no objection, however, to telling you that one of our objec- tions to him is that he has a bad eye—a bad eye for seeing straight with, Furthermore, we look upon his eye as a crystalline glory alongside of his character, ‘That's all what we feel called upon to mention, A man who wants to know wAy decent people object to General Butler is a man who had best be left in ignorance—and ‘a lunatic asylum. EXPLAINED. A recent number of London Punch con- tains a picture of an English garden party. A lord asks a pretty young American lady to dance, and she replies: “ Wal, I don’t care if I do take the creases out of my knee-joints,” ‘The inference is that either the American demi-monde are invited into fashionable so- ciety in London, or else English lords frequent parties of a very low character, Remembering the welcome given to Sara Bernhardt by the first families of London, the former seems the more plausible— Norristown Herald, Bee Sma # x Pe Sn Fatt, Chicken matches, go-as you please, are com- ing into fashion in New Jersey. ‘The start is from the egg. comicbooks.com