Puck — September 24, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. PUCK. Nos, 21 & 23 WARREN STREET. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Jerus To Susscriners the United States and Canada. 1 00e Year, OF $3 BUMBETS o+ee Ons Gee Sie Zouths: cr o6 aumbers One Copy, three months, or 13 num! Inctupina Posts WOTIcE. Owing to the steadi-inerasing pressure on our col umn ADVERTISING RATES of PUCK will, after the Ist of October, be ralsed 50 PER CENT. All who wish to avall themselves of tho present rates must hand in thelr advertisements before te above date. KEPPLER & SCHWARZMANN. NOTICE, Tur press of advertising matter, this week, has obbged us to cut a large portion of * Puck's Exchanges.” In order to put be- fore our readers a full amount of readiog matter, we shall hereafter publish a two-page supplement whenever our business depart. ment encroaches upon our reading matter. The first of these sup- plements will appear next week. CONTENTS. ‘Wages on the Elevated Roads. | Troddledums the Simian—illus, Strong Meat for Babes. Tales of Fashionable Life. 08. Specimen Bricks from the Dic- Boom (poem)—i.lus. ‘onary of the Future. Mr. Michael Angelo Muthooly | Two Naughty Boys. ‘on the Political Situation. —I. | The Walk for the Belt. Not He Season—illus. Polo—illus. A Dinner Duetto (poem).—A | The Kelly Canvass. Long-Fellow. ‘Theatres. Literary Note. Axswans ron Tex Aouovs. Convenient—iilus. . ‘Ancure Gascorea—Jobn Fraser mm Awemca— — | Pucn’s Excuances. No. CVI. WAGES ON THE ELEVATED ROADS. )UCK’S prophecies are invariably fulfilled. We always did say that the octopusial arrangements that have tentacled nearly the whole of the city would constantly be giv- ing trouble, in some form or another, and be- hold! we were right. : The agony in this instance is that the fortunate stockholders haven’t been scooping in dividends enough to comfort their merce- nary souls; not that Mr. Tilden has got the bet- ter of Mr. Cyrus Field by several bar'ls, or that Mr. Field got cruelly left while on his way to England to make arrangements for his fall im- portation of live dukes, earls, viscounts and ba- ronets, Yes; the trouble is that, owing to some oc- cult reason, the elevated roads do not pay more than so per cent. per annum, and the directors are at their wit's ends what to do about it. Several schemes were suggested to get them out of their quandary, and these ultimately were reduced to two, One was to pull down the roads and return to first principles and horse-cars, The other—ah, brilliant thought! —to reduce the wages of their employees, The objection to the first of these was ob- vious: the public would be seriously incon- venienced; and although many of the inhab- itants on the line of route have rejoiced at the idea of being able to get a whole night's rest, by way of a change, still, crowds of peo- ple had become accustomed to be rapidly steamed up town, and would not willingly sur- render the luxury, though the working of the road forced on an unfortunate stockholder a miserable fifty per cent. yearly dividend on his fearfully appreciated stock. To pull down the roads would therefore be injudicious, although the company might have to put up with a div- There was then but one thing to do—to cut down the wages of the employees. Such a proceeding would affect only a few unimport- ant individuals, and would not be nearly so much labor as to cart away and sell the tracks, pillars and supports of the structure for old iron, The reduction was decided on, and has been carried into effect, consequently everybody is happy all round—especially the conductors, who, for ten or twelve hours work, now receive the munificent sum of two hundred cents a day; and platform-men and gatemen the equally liberal remuneration of one hundred ‘and fifty cents, What the wages of the engineers have been reduced to, is not stated in precise terms, but we always did think engineers were paid too much, We see no reason why they shouldn’t get the same pay per trip as a bootblack gets for a shine, say five cents, This is more than enough, considering that engineers have facilities for keeping themselves warm, which bootblacks haven’t—and heat, after all, is the one prin- cipal element in the support of life. Besides, if engineers are hungry, they can chew coal; there is usually plenty of it on the locomotive, and it is a delicacy not within the reach of everybody. So we don’t want to hear any more complaints from engineers, much less from signalmen, gatemen, and conductors, who ought to thank their stars that they have any work to do at all, and are in receipt of such magnificent salaries for doing it. As for the suffering directors, officers, and stockholders, we recommend their cases to our pauper millionaire Mr. W. H. Vanderbilt. He will surely help them out of their difficulties, A fellow railroad feeling makes us wondrous kind. STRONG MEAT FOR BABES. F you want to bring up a child in the way ¢ should go to hunt Indians, wreck rail- road trains and play highwayman, let him browse on the literary pastures cultivated by the publishers of the story-papers and the dime-novelists, ~ We believe it was Professor Sumner who first took the liberty of calling the attention of par- ents and guardians to the fact that the subject of infantile literature was not unworthy of the attention of adults, Until very lately, people thought this matter quite beneath their notice, The Boy Buccaneer and the Youthful Avenger of the Plains were merely jokes, trivial and un- considered absurdities. Now, at last, we are beginning to recognize them as very active and dangerous factors in the social education of our children, It is pot needful to comment largely on our centre-page cartoon. For one thing, it speaks for itself, and then again, such comments have been anticipated by many more serious and powerful utterances than lie within our scope. All that we have ‘o do is to put in formal words the question that our picture suggests. Can we, decent and right-loving citizens, af- ford to tolerate a literature that simply befouls the pure minds of innocent and ignorant chil- dren? Can we afford to let unprincipled spe- culators make a trade of this unholy pandering? It is not a question of inciting boys to be idiot- iedly adventurous, or girls to be foolishly “fast.” It is a subtler influence that this class of litera- ture exerts on the child's mind — the avidly receptive mind that is led away by a factitious excitement from all pure, high and worthy am- bitions, Flash” writing and flash publishing may not make brigands of our boys, or wantons of our girls; but is it not likely to make them just such men and women as the flash writers and publishers ? And are these good or desirable men and idend of sixty per cent. women ? Parkenings, Mane to order—Slaves, Tuis is the Bolt for the Belt, Bounp to the weal—The public, A TART APPLE isn’t an apple-tart. Some of them are Rowelling—home. We have seen Mr. Cornell's portrait. We shall vote for Robinson. Divorce proceedings Aave commenced. Mrs. Langtry is going on the stage. Tue kind of billiards which just now is the favorite with the ladies is Ca-poul. Measures are being taken to enable Mr. Peter Cody to vote for the Hon, John Kelly. Tue heterodox Superintendent being retired, no Kidd’ll now be led into spiritualistic ways. We are betting all our money on Weston and Ennis. Not as walkers, As conversationalists. Wuar we Americans said at the last election the Englishmen now say of the walking match —Hazael be counted in. SsiTH excuses the mistake he made when he spelled diary dairy, by asserting that they are both milk-and-watery affairs. ‘Tue Young Republicans announce that they “will not bolt, but scratch.” Mr. Kelly's ad- herents have bolted, and they habitually scratch, Ir has been suggested that a pretty girl in front and a tax-collector behind would keep the average pedestrian up to a five-hundred-and- fifty mile score, Way is it, when our words get grand and upperish, Our thoughts at once become quite weak and Tupperish ? The summer months in silence part; The Poet's heart Opes in a song of praise to Her— Also doth ope the chestnut burr. Mr. Cyrus Fietp has reduced the wages of the employees of the Elevated Roads, because he wants to save money enough to entertain the king of the Cannibal Islands, who is com- ing here next year. An Eve ro THE Future. Mother to her daughter just seven years old —‘‘ What makes you look so sad, Carrie?” Carrie, looking at her baby-brother three weeks old—‘I was just thinking, that in about ten years from now, when I shall be entering company, and having beaux, that brother of mine will be just old enough to bother the life out of me.” NOTICE. —— The Numbers 4, 5, 6, 18 25 and 108 of Puck will bebought at this office, 21 & 23 Warren St., at 10 cta. per copy; and Numbers 9, 14, 26, 56 and 58 at 25 cents per copy. comichooks.com