Puck — September 3, 1879 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHAT HE WANTED. As he walked into the grocery-store the clerk leaned over the counter and asked him what he wanted. “Do I look as though in need of any- thing?” thought perhaps you wanted some pota- toes,” the clerk said, apologetically. “Ts there anything peculiar about my eyes, nose or teeth which seems to suggest a lack of potatoes on my part ?” “TT don’t know that there is.” “Can you construe the appearance of the lobe of my left ear into an admission that at the-present moment I am out of wine-jelly and cucumbers? Can you infer from the disheveled state of my hair that my children are at home crying for soft crabs and tomatoes? Well, I didn’t suppose you could. I don’t want to buy anything; but I’ll be obhiged to you if you'll lend me your coal-shovel for an hour or two ?” It was handed out to him.—J. Y. Star. Paut Boyton and Captain Webb are to have a swimming-match, and James Gordon Bennett has promised to give the winner $1,000. ‘Two poor sewing-girls in New York, the other day, had a shirt-making match at twelve cents per shirt. The winner completed four shirts in sixteen hours, but we believe no one gave her $1,000,—Worr. Herald. Cartes Duptey WaRNER has gone to the Adirondacks, Mr. Warner writes delightful back-wood sketches, and he enlarges to some extent in his fish stories, We have just one little warning for him—that he hadn't better write a book about the Adirondacks, and he must never, never go into the buckboard busi- ness.— Buffalo Express. Over in Idaho is a town called Bad Egg. A loud name; but Dr. Landis, the comic trage- dian, says there are lots of bad egg towns in the United States. To which the Count Jo- hannes comments, “ Yes, I know; that is so.” — Norr, Herald. ‘Tue ENGLISH PEERAGE. ians we may state the formula” thus: “The eldest son of a peer of the nth grade ranks next below a peer of the #X1th grade, and next above a younger son of a peer of the n—tth grade, a duke being considered as of the first grade.— Washington Capital, Joaquin MILteR says: ‘If you were to take a newspaper in your hand and crumple it up, and then spread it out again, the creases in it might fairly represent the streets and lanes and alleys of London, so angular, so awkward and irregular is this, the greatest of all cities of the world.” If you were afterwards to turn it up- side down and read it backwards, it would fairly represent some of Joaquin’s poetry.— fhe a Pe Bulletin, “THE NEW JUDEA.” “THE PAPAL FARM.” For mathematic- “Hints for the Jews.” “Several Ways of getting to Manhattan Beach.” To meet the demand for the above Cartoons, new Editions of “Puck” Nos. 123 and 125 have been published. Copies can be had from all Newsdealers, genuine article, manufactured . @. B. Blogert & J. W. Hancoz, U. 8 Sole Agent, 61 Broadway, P. 0. Box, 2610, N.Y. ity. POND'S EXTRACT owes its wonderful success to merit alone. It is now acknowledged as a standard remedy, and is largely used by physicians in their every-day practice. Not passes without the “company "* receiving some grateful acknow- ledgment particularly from persons cured of the following dise: Sore Eyes, Bleeding from the Lungs, Stomach and Womb, Piles, blind and bleeding, Catarrh, Rheumatism, etc. Beware of imita- tions. Ask for Pon's Extract—take no other. Beware of Counterfelts and Imitations! BOKER’S BITTEBS. | L FUNKE, Jr., Oslo Agest, P, 0. Bex 1029, 78 John St., N.Y. NOT ON THURSDAY. ++ can’t go with you on Thursday, it’s my day for the chills,”” ‘a gentleman said to his frend while standing in froot of the Treas office the other day. If he had stepped into the first drug store he came to, and bought a 25 cent box of Thermaline, he would have been able to make an appointment for that or any other day. Chills cannot stand before Thermaline, the only 25 cent Ague remedy in the world. —Kavsas Crrv Trans. SOZODONT. To preserve the teeth and keep them pure and white, to prevent their decay, there is 00 preparation in the market equal to SOZODONT. To preserve the gums in a natur- ally hard and healthy condition, there is 20 superior to SOZO- DONT. To purify and sweeten the breath there is no rival to SOZODONT. For a perfect mouth there is no recipe like the use ef SOZODONT. Consequently it is no wonder that the populanty of SOZUDONT as « dentifrice has no bounds, All Droggists keep it. Try the “PUCK” CIGARETTE, Manufactured by B. Pottax, New York. RegistereL> TRADE, pester VIRGINIA CUT CAVENDISH, MARBURG BROS. BEST IN THE WORLD. AYRAR and ‘Address P.O. agente, Oct Free. to (CKERY, Augusta, Malne. $777 HOTEL BRIGHTON, BRIGHTON BEA Ga Wal SREBEY"} Propre. CONEY ISLAND. The “PUCK” CIGA BETTE beats all. Manufactured by B. Poutax, New York. ust out: TWO NOSES FOR SALE. * EE: WITTY JEWS AND JEWISH WITS PRICE) 25 C21 rrength and youth! Into naught our woes are vanished, ‘Noise abroad the glorious truth! Exindred ils that fong did grieve us, ‘All the frightfel, ghastly train, ke rout eave us, out Tegenerate lives deka sre 8 roubles Saver, daa Up the fag of Chinkalype Sold by druggists far and iakalypts is et up in eat dieatruc tn bore containg 25 ceuts per box, or $2.75 for family. pac ‘One Mavcer & Peters, Wholesale Agents, New York. G. H. MUMM & CO.'S CHAMPAGNE. mportation 1x 1878 35,906 Cases, or 16,270 casos More than of any other brand. The best Cigarette is the ‘Puck’ brand. Manufactured by B, Poutax, New York. Patents, Trade Marks are promptly secured by the Patent Office of PAUL GOEPEL, Staats-Zeltang Building, Tryon Row, New York. ADVICE AND PAMPHLET FREE. Goopel’s Classified Trademark-Record open to free In- spection. Publisher of “DER TECHNIKER,” a semi-moathly Journal, ia the German Language, devoted to the progress of Science, In- vention and the Trades, Terms of Subscription: $1.40 per year, im Advance, including Postage. Sample copies free. 909 BROADWAY 909 Near 20th Street. CARAMELS A SPECIALTY. Fine Bonbons unexcelled for Excellence of Flavors and quality. NEW FRENCH FRUITS. VANILLA MOLASSES CANDY. Large Assortment of Fancy Boxes and Baskets. Favors for the German of my own Importation, E. CREENFIELD. Ss “PUCK” CIGARETTES are the best. Manufactured by B. Potax, New York. T ALL NEWS STANDS, THE TRADE SUPPLIED BY THB Pin, New York. comicbooks.com