Puck — June 18, 1879 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. towns, and though he relished—no one_better —a good bottle of wine, the Counts favorite tipple was beer, of which he could drink—well, no one ever could tell how much he could drink, or, to put it more significantly, couldn't, He was also a prodigious smoker, and his cigars were the finest which money could pur- chase, as his pipes were the ugliest and longest and blackest. As to his morality—well, he was a gentleman of “‘easy virtue,” and gave a large and liberal interpretation to the seventh commandment. In all field sports he was proficient; he was a magnificent shot; and very few amateurs, or for that part of it, professionals could beat him cither at billiards or cards. Finally, to sum up his accomplishments, he was a brilliant conversationalist, and though a bachelor—or shall we say because a bachelor? —a devoted, if somewhat general admirer of the ladies, From all of which it may be gathered that Count von Frankylstein was a decided acquisi- tion to any party, as our Gleninver friends were not slow to discover; for, ere he had been an hour in their company, his broken English and the Doctor's brogue were struggling for the supremacy, and it was hard to decide whether the Austrian or Hibernian wit had the better of the encounter. We have been thus particular in describing the Count, as he will figure with some little prominence in the following chapters, and was, with all his faults, a particularly good fel- low—bright witty, good-natured, and withal of fabulous wealth. Breakfast over, it was arranged that the en- tire household and their guests should call upon the young doctor and his wife at Ederlaine, and go on a picnic to Dunvegan Castle, a mag- nificent old place, the seat of the MacLeods, some twelve or fourteen miles distant from Gleninver, of which more presently. Either by luck or good guidance, or both, it so happened that Archie and Miss Macdonald were seated together in the same carriage, the basket-phzton, and with them, on the opposite seat, the Doctor and Effie, while Alister held the reins, In the large wagonette came Flora, Mlle. Thollier—who, by the way, had breakfasted in her own room and had not yet seen the Count —the children, nurse, maid and Mrs. Mac- donald; the Professor, Count and Gleninver himself bringing up the rear in the barouche. It was a right merry party, and right merrily shone the sun as they drove along the white, hard road to Ederlaine, with the fresh sea- breeze, laden with the odor of sea-reck and thyme blown on their faces from the one side, and the gracious frankinscence of heather and clover from the other. Arrived at Ederlaine, they picked up Doctor Macintosh and his young wife; the former mounted on a beautiful gray mare in which he took no little pride, while Mrs. Macintosh took a seat beside Gleninver in the barouche. ‘The Doctor was a tall, slim, sallow-faced youth—little more than a boy indeed—of con- siderable talent, and having a prodigious con- ceit of himself, and very little, if any, of any- body else. At college he had somewhat distinguished himself; on the faith of which, though only a raw, half-educated country lad, he chose to look down upon his. brother practitioners and ithe medieal faculty in general, with that lofty ‘contempt which is the offspring of youth, con- ceit, and that half-knowledge which is proverb- ially dangerous, At the same time, in all fairness, it should be stated that the lad had talent possessed con- siderable knowledge—at least of English liter- ature; was a tolerable musician; and had a good seat in his saddle. Although, too, with his inferiors, or that not inconsiderable portion of humanity whom he chose to consider so, Dr, Macintosh was sullen, silent and morose, he could at times be a very lively and entertaining companion, particularly in the company of ‘ladies or persons from whom he expected to obtain something. As to his wife, she may be dismissed in a sentence. She was older than he in years, and a great deal older in wows and knowledge of the world. Fetite and rather pretty, she was prim, con- sequential and methodical, but withal an ex- cellent housewife, well-read, well-bred, and a great stickler for the ‘ proprieties. Il-natured people used to say that the Doc- tor had not so much married her as—but, there, why repeat the stale gossip of the mali- cious? Rather let us proceed with our nar- rative, and as now, O most impatient reader, we have at long last cleared the way, and in- troduced to you, with all due formality, the personages of cur little drama, we promise to give our Pegasus the spur, and compel that laggard jade to get out of the jog-trot she has hitherto maintained and break into a spanking pace—with, it may be, an occasional break- neck gallop. Only let it be borne in mind how dangerous it is to urge horses of mettle too severely at first; the thing must be done scientifically and by degrees. But we promise you, if you have but patience, some really first-class sensations presently, of astrictly original but highly moral character; for the hair-lifting qualities of which we hereby pledge our veracity as a historian and a gentleman, (To be continued.) Tue most natty city—Cincinnatii— American Punch, Grant is at present in Hong Kong. He will shortly be in Jim-Jam.— Washington Capitol. How to get up a spring meeting—put two men in a light buggy.—Cincinnati Saturday Night. Cetewavo has 1,300 wives, which explains his knowledge of the art of war.—New Orleans Times, Tue English tariff is suffering from a severe attack of Bright's disease.—Baltimore Every Saturday. “ Love's Sacririce”—Going to see amateurs act to please your sweetheart.—New Orleans Picayune. Comparep with Asa Packer, New York's mil- lionaires appear As-a Pack-er regular misers.— Phila, Bulletin, Spett “ pupils” backward, and you will dis- cover the nature of many a one among them, —Boston Transcript Tue Angora goat is being urged upon the Southern States.—Zx. We advise the South- ern States to climb a tree.—Boston Post. AnD now they say that the Indian Chief, Wild Hog, reminds one of Zach, the states- man, and we wonder why it is.— Boston Post Sgaman.—Oh! yes, it is quite true that dis- tance “lends enchantment to the view;” but there is no case on record of “‘the view” repay- ing the loan.—S, F, Wasp. Ir Congress adjourns on the 2oth of June, it will still give the President time to make out a route of State and County Fairs.— Cincinnay Enquirer, Wuen an equestrian is pitched over the head of his house he is apt to realize “the power behind the thrown.”— Boston Commer. cial Bulletin, A tapy fainted the other day while being presented to the President. Hayes’s back-bone must be making him horribly ugly.— Phila, Kronikle-Herald. ‘Tue Herald P.1. man very shrewdly observes that religious enthusiasts never kill themselves; they always think God tells them to kill some. body else.— Burlington Hawkeye. Ir is always the big fellows that get to the front in the crowd. Look at the strawberry- box for instance; the little ones are always at the bottom.—Phila, Kronikle-Herald, “Tue Sheriff kindly furnished Anderson with a nice summer hat to be hung in.” The Sheriff must be the funny man on the Sacra- mento Kecord-Union.—San Francisco Post, A MAN who went to Leadville awhile ago, and advertised to teach the guitar, was notified by the zsthetic residents that if he didn’t leave pretty quick he would guitar and feathers. He left.—S. F, News-Letter, Monpay afternoon the lightning struck a powder magazine near Brighton; Ill, contain- ing 51,000 pounds of powder, You can just imagine how astonished the lightning was the next second.— Burlington Hawkeye. Tue brewers in conventional St. Louis de- clared that malt beverages are conducive to temperance. Will somebody please help the temperance cause by rolling a barrel of ale into our cellar ?—Phila, Kronikle-Herald. Quacks have no chance in this town now. One of them prescribed dried apples for a fel- low who had the dropsy. He ate a quart of them, and in less than twenty-four hours a mar- ble cutter was looking up his widow to see what kind of a monument she wanted.— Wheeling Leader, ‘THE sea-serpent, “about the thickness of a junk’s mast,” was recently seen in Japan, His snakeship will have to travel faster than a cam- paign lie to reach the American sea-side resorts before the “season” opens. But that the monster will be on hand, there is not a particle of doubt. —Norristown Herald, Ir is said that so much alike are modern and ancient Greek, that anybody who can read Plato and Thucydides can get the meanin, out of an Athens newspaper of to-day. An yet we suppose there are people in the world who will still argue against the usefulness of studying Greek.— Rochester Express. We seldom pick up a British newspaper without seeing something like this: Married at Ramsgate Rookery, near Oakley, Stafford, at noon of Thursday, 3oth instant, by Rev, Plantagenet Clutterbuck, L. L. D., F.R S.,.A.T.S., M,N. O.Q. R.D., uncle to the bride, Rector of St, Bartholomew's Church, Elephant’s Head, Briar Lane, Berkley, assisted by Rev. Theophilus Timoleon ‘Titmouse, J. O. B,,R.R.R, Y. Y. Z., D. B. F., cousin of the bridegroom, Rector of Calvary Church, St. Martin’s-in-the-Back-Cellar, Man's Nose, Grant- ley, Gertrude Maud Beatrice Constance, daugh- terof Granville Neville Bollingbroke Bopjaggers, Fsq., L. P., M. O. T., S. P.Q., W. O.N,, of Bareknees Briery, Cholmondeley Chairbones, Somerset,to Herold St.John Evermont Stragsby, late of Her Majesty's Four Hundred and Elev- enth foot, K.C. B., R. B. A., L. G. J., and E. T. C., of Pumpernickle Priory and Stonehenge and Stickelneck Lodge, St.Christopher’s-Under- 3 the-Hedge, Mumblepeg, Hertford.— Exchange. ||