Puck — April 30, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Nos. 21'\& 28-WARREN STREET. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terms To Suascriper: ‘One Copy one year, or $2 numbers. Ove Copy, six months, or 26 numbers One Copy tor thirteen weeks... Tetusteatep Bosmeess Mai W. . Eprror... C. BUNNER. SPECIAL NOTICES. wa Pemittances by Money Order, etc., are to be addressed to KEPPLER & SCHWAKZMAN. e __ We cannot undertake to return rejected communications, and to this rule we can make no exception. fale in London, at the News Agency of Messrs. LLIG & CO., 449, Strand, Channg Cross, ai NEWS COMPAN ~ REMOVAL. {27 Puck has removed to new and, of course, com- modious quarters at Nos. 21 & 23 WarReN STREET. CONTENTS. | Puc’s Paxrigox—VI.—Conk- ling, the Curled Congressional ar. Poems of Places. —H. W. Short- Expensive Blowing Yatdertl vers Decency. | lay—(sonnet. Puckaninas. ‘The “Moderation” Society Toternational Raving. Puck's Paxrweox—VI.—Conk- ling. A Laxer’s Progress (poem) Gallic Gomdrops. A Hat of P evention—illus, ‘A Pleamilas ‘Apsil Armor—illus. A'Problematic Expedient —iltus EXPENSIVE BLOWING. idged Webstert—Lem ‘Aucune Gascovnn—Joha Fraser Puck's Excnances. HEN the great original Member for Buncombe ‘Co. got up in the House of Representatives and made his fa- mous speech, there was no weighty objection to that patriotic though perfunctory perform- ance. His fellow-members quietly went out and absorbed stationery, or strolled through the marble corridors while the primitive lobby- ists of those days wooed their tympani with soft seductive hints of divvy-fal jobs or “bone”- bearing stock operations. Those who were temperate or honest—let us not, ina too realis- tic spirit, inquire if there were any such— ietly slumbered on their legislative seats, and arcane of home and silence, what time their conscientious colleague’s platitudinous periods exalted Columbia's horn above the effete des- potisms of Europe. But the member for Buncombe was an honest, simple-minded fellow, who ground out his little hour or so of home-made eloquence merely to please his constituents and earn his salary. Both motives were natural and praiseworthy; and the man himself was quite harmless; and only a very small and insignificant nuisance. Yet the Member for Buncombe gave his name to a mighty plague and curse: a scourge which we are now feeling in its worst form— the outrage of Talk for Talk's sake—or for yet meaner objects. Here we have, in the Congress of the United States, two sets of men, who, for the last fort- night, have been throwing oratorical mud at each other, and incidentally besmirching the good name of their common country. ‘They have bullied, they have whined, they have de- nounced, they have chopped logic; they have wasted the public’s time and the public's pa- tience, they have made unspeakable asses of themselves in every way and shape that the ingenuity of man can compass—and why? Because Mr. Garfield of Ohio believes in U.S.‘troops at the pools; and Mr. Blackburn of Kentucky doesn’t? PRIL has wandered, with her breath of balm Slightly suffused with symptoms of catarrh, Out of our \ Of May is rise! AS. The birds tune sight. And now the softer star nin azure heavens calm. up what poets call a psalm— It is quite as likely cussing that they are. Now is revived last year's mosquito-bar. And resurrected is the Perchance ‘tis premature fan of palm. to speak of fans Or of mosquitoes ; but there is a rush ’Mongst moving folks—a rivalry, as ‘twere For eligible and commodious vans. And o’er a myriad c Perched upon high eilings wields his brush the sable Whitewasher. Not much. Simply because there is a Democratic majority | in Congress, and because the Democrats, to keep it there, and the Republicans, to get it out, want to have a grand free-fight before the eyes of the whole country. Does the average citizen believe that little handful of troops down South is absolutely necessary to insure the salvation of the country through a free ballot? No!—no more than he believes that the leaders of the Republican party are all pure-minded patriots or saintly | statesmen. Or does he think the said handful of troops a menace of death to every institu- tion of liberty? Not a bit!—no more than he thinks that the dozen or so superfluous ex-rebels at Washington are going to overturn the nation and set things once more on an ante-bellum basis. H Gentleman Legislators, we are paying for | this gas; and we don’t like either the quality | or the quantity. Open the escape-valves of your highly objectionable political balloons and go home to make your reckoning with your constituents. VANDERBILT VERSUS DECENCY. We are informed that Mr. Wm. H. Vander- bilt has ordered a well-painted figure of Puck, which, on an up-town advertising fence, has gladdened the hearts of Fifth Avenue pedes- trians, to be blotted out on the ground of its | indecency. This, of course, is the highest possible com- pliment that the virtuous and conscientious pauper millionaire could pay us; and we take this opportunity of thanking him for his ap- preciation, We cannot, however, refrain from remarking that the only occasion on which Puck has been constrained to publish any pictures which per- haps bordered on the indecent, was when he exhibited pictorially the most interesting events in the career of the noble and historic house of Vanderbilt. We wish it to be distinctly understood that | the above remarks are no reflection on Mr, Cor- nelius Vanderbilt, who has proved himself, by his recent payment of his old debt, an honest and a just man. Puckerings. Wasn't Sykes an Appropriation’ Bill? Cautious Rochester may become car'less, ‘Tue Nihilists who Czar when he is shot at! ‘Tuere is a material difference between a silk dress and a’calico gown. Now, in case of War in Street, Puck can see it from the window, Exowe in Zululand is not pronounced at all is sneezed; and the savages who invested it were up to snuff, ‘Tis negro immigration is like the aggre- grate liability of two of our delinquent sub- scribers—it is an X owed us, ScurrocaTe Cavin must have felt himself secure in his betrothed’s affections, for he stopped court-proceedings several days before | his marriage. Ir is said that Mr, James O'Neil, now of San Francisco, has had George Eliot's “ Daniel Deronda” dramatized for him.— Buffalo Every Saturday. Ah, yes! Our literary staff is busily engaged in dramatizing the New York City Directory. ¥ TRAMP, TRAMP, TRAMP, THE ‘TRAMP IS COMING! [Cartoon in No. 109 of Puck.} “Tam the New Constitution.”—We are in debted to the New York Puck for the ideas in our cartoon, presented to our readers in this day’s issue of the S. F, News-Letter. ‘The de- sign is quite equal to any yet emitted from that witty publication.—Saen Francisco News- Letter, NOTICE. Numbers 10, 14, 25, 26, 39, 53, 56 and 58 of Puck will be bought at this office, 21 & 23 Warren Street, at 25 cents per copy.