Puck — March 12, 1879 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. 7; He's ranked by a Lieutenant-Colonel, This prince who ’s only a markee— And this is what they say of me In that confounded comic journal. It’s horrid, you know. I'm going off to min- gle my tears with Lady Sophia McNamara’s husband—he's the only man here who can un- derstand my feelings—he too married above him, LittLeTon-Boum (advancing). No—stay! ‘Tue PostMasTer-GENERAL, Stay! Littteron-Boum. ‘Tis time, young man, for your Scottish blood to boil. ‘THe Prince. Oh, no, please don’t make it boil. LittLeton-Boum. But we must, ’tis for your good. Do you not see that we are all supplanted in her Royal- iness's favor by this base emissary from the neighboring republic? You have been snubbed by your princely brothers; you have been ty- rannized over by your mother-in-law; you have been made ridiculous in the eyes of your wife; for years you have occupied the most humili- ating position in the eyes of all the world—but are you going to stand ¢his? THe Prince. T-ton’t know. .I can stand pretty nearly anything by this time. LittLeton-Boum. Don't stand fis, If you have no regard for your own dignity, think of ours/ PosTMASTER-GENERAL, We must conspire. | THE PRINCE. Allright. Let's conspire. Trio:—Zhe Prince, LittLteton- Boum, and PosTMASTER-GENERAL, Air:—Quand on conspire, Tue Prince. When one's conspiring, Defying fear, As an aspiring Conspirateer— LittLeton-Boum. It is of vally To have good luck— PosTMASTER-GENERAL, Es-pe-ci-ally In fighting Puck. ALL, We are a-going for his scalp! We are a-going for his scalp! We he he he are a-going, we he he he are a-going, we he he he are a-go ho ho ing for his scalp! (The conspirators retire and converse apart.) (Re-enter the Princess and Puck.) ‘THE Princess. Bring forth the Garter of my mother! (The Garter is brought forth.) Tue Princess (fo Puck.) Air:—voici le sabre. Here is the Garter of my mother, You will bind it upon your manly leg, And when next I am disposing of another, You also will accept of that, I beg. When my late-lamented Deutsch paternal Bust the trouser-elevating brace, He was wont to take this rag supernal, And the same to button in its place. Here is the Garter of my mother, You will bind it upon your manly leg, (resenting the Garter.) Here is the Garter of my mother, You will bind it upon your manly leg, As my royal and imperial brother Wraps therewith a rather shaky peg. Once it topped the knee-pan of my grand-dad, And cre that had had all sorts of luck; But of all the royal legs it spanned had, Ne'er was one more plump than that of Puck, Here is the garter of my mother, You will bind it upon your manly leg! Cuorus. Here is the garter of her mother, He will bind it upon his manly leg. Cxorus or ConsPiRaTors. Oh, agony, rage, despair, We were going to have his hair, And now he has taken us in Where the hair is remarkably thin, Conspiring is not our forte. Genera Cuorus. Yet nobody seems to object To this very ungrateful neglect: Your plans and your hopes are wrecked. But what were you to expect Of this tuppenny-hapenny, Poor Little Pedlington, Six-by-nine Brummagem Court? Granb TABLEAU, Red Fire— Thunder and Lightning — Abase- ment of the Conspirators—Apotheosis of Puck as Official Journal of the Canada Court, FITZNOODLE IN AMERICA. LXXIX, THE CANADIAN COURT. Ya-as, ye know aw, Jack Carnegie used to be, at some time or othah, an extwaaide-de-camp to Earl Dufferwin, who was sent by Queen Victorwia to look aftah the peo- ple in the aw glor- wiously fwozen wegions of North Amerwica called C-c-canada. Dufferwin isn’t there now; he has, I believe, gone somewhere else. Everwybody knows, in fact I've weferwed to it befaw, that Argyle’s son Lorne, who marwied a daughter of Victorwia—Louise I think—is now in Canada with his . The Canadians ought be exceedingly gwateful to the Queen for expatwiating these young folks to keep order amongst them. But still, ye know, a varwiety of things that are all verwy well faw an old countwy like Gweat Bwitain, are not pwecisely suitable for a young and pwimitive terwitorwy. ‘A fellaw, Littleton, who, Jack says, is a Secwetarwy to Lorne, and a Lieut. Colonel, has waised a storm of indignation by wequirwing all female cweatures when they appear be- fore the Pwincess to wear low-necked dresses. Quite too awfully widiculous he-ah, and I’m weally surpwised that Littleton didn’t know bettah than to make such outwageous arwange- ments; think, after wall, he must be an indiffer- wently bwed fellaw, pwobably fwom an infer- wiah family —perwaps a c-c-cad. It is invarwiably this descwiption of fellaw who out-Herwods Herwod in carwying out such orders—ye see he wants to appear verwy arwistocwatic, and generwally makes a blasted a-ass of himself. ‘Although Lorne and Louise are young peo- le, ‘pon my soul I think they weally have a larger pwoportion of sense than to surwender their wespectability and be twotted out ina Bwummagem Court to please this fellaw, Little- ton. Aw now, on considerwation, I don’t think now that Jack and I will pay our pwomised visit to Wideau Hall, although Lorne has been Pwessing us to come, to an unpwecedented de- gwee, but I he-ah they pwopose twaveling to New York in the spwing or beginning of sum- mah, when I shall then pwobably call on them and aw show them the wopes he-ah. Lorne is weally not half a bad fellaw, wathah liked him when I used t6 meet him at Eton aw, PUCK’S PANTHEON. SENATOR McCREERY. Tue retiring U.S. Senator McCreery is quite a character,and not one altogether unworthy of admiration at that, To the lymphatickest of temperaments, with a fishy and heavy eye, is united a burly frame. Gingerbread, apples and chewing-tobacco are his favorite pabulum. The tobacco speaks for itself, as it usually re- solves itself into neat rivulets of juice flowing picturesquely from the valley of his mouth. But when the blast of war blows in his ears, if he does not exactly imitate the action of the tiger, he comes very near taking pattern by the lion. He stiffens his sinews, summons up his blood, shakes his mane, stretches the nostril wide, dries up the tobacco rivulets, and lets the Senate have his opinions in silvery tones and elegant and forcible language, which never fails - to have the requisite effect on that dignified body. : If Senator McCreery would indulge in fewer gingerbreads and apples, keep his eyes more open, and would not be so liberal with his ca- resses of easy chairs, there might be a chance of his less ponderously serving a few more terms in addition to the two that he has al- ready struggled through. IS HE INSANE? Wasuincton, D. C., March 6th, 1879. To the Editor of Puck--Sir: Your cartoon of the sth inst.is admirable, with the exception of one little drawback. A man can’t row a boat with one oar, as the man of “monee” is trying to do. He would merely spin around in the water, and the sharks would be sure to get him. What a pity your artist did not have an extra oar to lend him. He must be insane, AN OaRSMAN, WHO HAS TRIED IT ON THE WATER, [We are quite aware that a man cannot row a boat with one oar, but in our cartoon the mil- lionaire is represented as trying to get away from the sharks as quickly as possible, and is consequently without proper equipment. He would more likely travel in a circle than man- age to put much distance between him and the lawyers, which explains the situation perfectly. Ep. Pucx.] Answeys for the Anrious, Haseutive.—She has gone to meet her sisters and her cousins and her aunts. R. V. D.—There is such a thing as being ahead of time. You are too premature—too premature for your own good—with your Fourth-of-July poem. You have prematured it into the waste-basket. We should judge, indeed, that this tendency to be premature is character- istic of you. Your birth, for instance—that-was a bit premature, wasn't it? The century could have spared you a while yet. comicbooks.com