Puck — February 12, 1879 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. ANOTHER SUFFERER FROM.DISHONEST BANK OFFICIALS. Mr. Wa. Sikes:—‘ It Zs too bad. I was a-goin’ to make a_ first-class cracksman of that ’ere boy, and uow that the bank officials is a robbin’ all the banks theirselves, he's reduced to priggin’ ‘Wipes’ from old women!” A LITTLE MISTAKE. Nicur SCENES IN Yor«. 2 IN DARKNESS AND BY GASLIGHT. By TONY PASTOR. New 2 GEORGE RUMGO, Pustisnen, New York, Feb. 7th, 1879. Dear Puck: "From the above advertisement it would ap- pear that the gymnast of the Brooklyn Taberna- cle is ashamed (as he has reason to be) to pub- lish the “Night Scenes in New York” under his own name. , Now, if Talmage has reflected that, in the Mght of recent events, his own name attached to [the book would be sufficient to prevent any decent citizen buying it, of course he has a perfect right to publish anonymously or under any nom de plume he chooses—providing he does not adopt that of another author; but to publish his insane ravings under the name of ‘Tony Pastor is certainly a flagrant infringement of personal rights. z It is strange that Talmage, after his sweeping denunciations of +Verything connected with the stage, should shelter himself behind a name so well known in New York as Tony Pastor's. Perhaps, however, Talmage is under the im- pression that the variety stage occupies a higher moral plane than the tragic or the lyric. a If the mountebank of the Tabernacle is enamored of the name of Pastor, why does he not sign himself A Tony Pastor (although A Peccant Pastor would’ be more significant)? No one then would be, imposed upon, or un- justly suspect Mr. Pastor. of perpetrating such infernal nonsense as ‘Talmage has published under his name. Yours, Si. Our correspondent is in error. He has been imposed on by a similarity of titles. ‘Talmage’s book is called the ‘‘ Night Side of New York.” Mr. Pastor is the author of ‘Night Scenes in New York.” Evidently “Sid” is acquainted only with the former work. If he read it through he has our sincerest sympathy. Ep, Puck. FIAT WISDOM. THE most successful collector in town wears a suit of dun-colored clothes, TALENT is a good thing; but what’s native talent compared to a rich dad? Harper's Bazar is always dated two weeks ahead. They have to do it to keep up with the fashions. Tue grand secret of Russian valor—There’s so much “itch” to their names it’s no wonder they ‘come up to the scratch,” Ture are, it is said, upwards of seventy ways of making lightning rods. There are more than a million ways of lying about them. “You’Lt never miss the water till the well runs dry.” And there’s a heap of fellows about this town who wouldn’t miss it then, Tue coolness of railroad engineers in time of danger is proverbial; but why should they not be cool? Are not their engines always coaled ? Canon Farrar wants to know: “Is there ahell?” If he'll come out here and wrestle with three or four book-agents a day, he'll think there ought to be. Kansas City has a musician by the name of Seurmilch, who advertises to play ball music. He may do for hops and hoe-downs, but never for the cream-of-society balls. “ Orpau kissed her mother-in-law; but Ruth clave unto her.” Oh, yes! but that kind of mother-in-law may have lived thousands of years ago; now-a-days the m.-i-l. does the cleaving. ‘THeRe’s a man in Ottawa who will never, under any circumstances, permit his wife to split wood, He says it’s hard enough for her to build the fire; hanged if he don’t hire a donkey to do the splitting. Euus M. CLarke. AN INTERROGATORY SYRACUSAN. Syracuse, Feb. 8th, 1879. Editor of Pock: Sir—Permit ine to ask: Is Puck aspirit? Has he a ginyalogy? Has he his kin to protect him only? Do you know what fairy pays when he travels? Could one so entirely beautiful be called a half fare? Or, is he half air and half earth? Now, és ‘half-and-half’ admissible among spirits? Isn’t he more than ’alf and alf’ able in his demeanor? I'll. Truly yours, Stowcus. FROM A RELATIVE OF DR. SCHLIEMANN. CLEVELAND, Onto, Feb, 6th, 1879. Editor Puck: Freut mich, dass Sie ein Paar meiner Calem- bours gebrauchen konnten, Hier sind noch mehr: GEOGRAPHY MADE EASY. Why Oming? ‘Tennie C._—Claflin. Minne-sot-a—or A. Sover? What did Minnie seek? Lots of girls Kan-sas. J-owe-ah—more than I can pay. publish this.) ‘The passion of the chase was in—Diana. No disciple of Mohammed would Miss- houris, The trouble with a conceited reporter is Pennsyl-van-ia. So much noise has been made in this country about the color line, that the last State admitted has been called Color-ado! You will notice that a big dog is always more gentle than a little pup. ‘Thus it is that the biggest State in the Union will Texas when smaller ones wouldn’t. Fat. (Don't THE RIGHT WAY OF LOOKING AT IT. City, Feb. r1th; 1879. Editor Puck: Sir—As a Catholic I have to thank you for “What we pay for our Religions.” Return to the subject soon again, 1 beseech you—and, touching the cathedral ‘‘scandal,” why don’t you unearth it? Have you nothing to say for our competent, eminent, and energetic Cardinal? Give him a rub, or scrub—-and earn the ever- lasting gratitude of ‘THe Writer. A BELATED PUZZLER. New York, Feb. 11th, 1879. Editor of Puck: Sir—Possibly some of the many candidates for the valuable prize offered for the “very worst’’ set of answers to Puck’s Questions may be able to solve the following: 1,—What relation is Tammany to Oakey— and if so, why ? 11.—Which of the axioms of Euclid declares that things which are greater than the same are greater than one another—and ifso, how many? JRC. AN OPINION, Burrato, Feb. 7th, 1879. Dear Puck: 1 am a moral young man; have read your paper since the publ'cation of the first number, and am highly pleased with everything you have published—even with the articles referred to by that respectable San Francisco Family Jour- nal, If the young man who furnishes that paper with the bosh you quoted last week lived in Buffalo his occupation would be gone, for living here he would be a buffalo thought. See? That respectable &c. journal ought to go west and grow up with the Pacific. F, CHARLEs, comicbooks.com