Puck — January 29, 1879 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. 7 PUCK’S QUESTIONS. We give this week the last instalment of our second batch of questions, and a few of the best answers yet received. The tournament will be closed next week, and the prizes awarded in the ensuing number. 13.—Does the Emperor of China double up his perambulator? And what did his wife say the first time he did it? 14.— Was Queen Victoria evera paragrapher? 15,—In what respect did the boyhood of Boss Tweed and that of St. Bartholomew resemble each other? 16.— Where was the battle of Waterloo fought, and what grounds are there for believing that it ought to have been called the battle of Kalama- 200, the historians having been confounded by the terminal 00, 17.—In what town of Afghanistan was Long- fellow born? 18.—Which was Columbus's favorite hotel in New York? 19.—When will the railway between New York and London be completed ? 20.—Can apple-fritters be properly regarded as keramics ? 21.—Do all the epicene people in England come from Middlesex? 22,—When Dieu et Mon Droit, did Mon Droit agree with Dieu? 23.—What is the best method of deodorizing an excited pole-cat ? 24.—Who wrote the lines: “+ Hark to the eaglet so chastely repining! Hark to the boom of the Bimbulumzee! Hark to the sun in the freckled sky shining! Hark to Amanda, how happy she be!” And why did he do it? 25.—What do yer soy? NICE CORRESPONDENTS. New York, January 17, 1879. Dear Mr. Puck: We send you herein a partial list of answers to your prize-conundrums. As we have no mothers- in-law, AS YET, we omit the certificate of good character. Our nearest male relative is Mr. Charles A. Dana of the Sun; and he is so busy fighting ‘His Fraudulency,” Rutherford B. Hayes, ex-Governor of Ohio, President “de facto” of the U.S. A., &c., &c., &c., that he can’t spare time to write one for us. (You will observe that the Sun shines for us—price 2 cents. Yours truly, NeELuE AND Mamie, P.S.—Ain’t you awfully sweet ? P.P.S.—Don’t fail to send us a copy of next week's Puck for this. 1.—In the dark. 2.—Don’t can tell. 3.—“* Revelator.” No. 92. 4.—Judge Hilton. 5.—To induce Hebrews to buy at Stewart's, 6.—Sam. Tilden, when asked about the cipher telegrams. 7-—Ten dollars, 8.—Charles Francis Adams. Never had none. ‘ive it up. 10,—Ask us an easy one, It promotes the digestion of peanuts. George Francis Train, P. E. 49. 12,—Can’t tell. 13.—No. Louise has clawed it off. 14.—Made taffy in it and gave it to the ‘Herald, 15.—Yes. Roasted niggers. 16.— His grandmothers.” 17.—Let it “pass.” We “ order up.” He gave it away in Puck, 18.—Give it up. —Hum-bugs. Talmage. 21.—Both ways, 22.—Kerosene oil. of the cask. .23:— Nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine years, Bit the plate. Neither. Biddy left the spigot out Bry. 5 ink he was a Molly Maguire putting in a plea of “non compos mentis.” A PARONOMASIAC CORRESPON DENT. Cucaco, January 20, 1879. Dear Puck: Enclosed please find answers to your first set of “Questions,” appearing in your issue of January 15th. Not being blessed with that universal article, a mother-in-law, at present, I will have to sub- mit my solutions’ to Puck, without a special recommendation. 1.—He got left! (in the dark.) 2.—'Cause they're beautie’s gone! Bob Ingersoll. 4-—Never were invented. Like gold, they were panned, out of the ground. 5.—Just sow! 6.—Sweet Singer of Michigan. 7.—All he was worth. 8.—The man who first put a strap around his trunk. His great-grandmother didn’t wear a pull-back. 9.-—It originated in Virginia; but the lick- ing post-age is being stamped out now, as it customuch money to maintain it! 10,—As five-cent shines are Agin court eti- quette, we allow this Toronto next week. 11,—Washouldn’t you know? G. F, Train? 12,—As Bryan O'Lynn is Irish, we think the easiest way to connect it with Little Bo-peep would be to Bridget! 13.—Too easy! 14.—You Ottawa.it until they settle down to housekeeping, then tea-pot will come in handy. On these grounds we offer the suggestion, 15.—Water Question! Of course! Butler, of Massachusetts, in his Bible ‘Teachings, mentions baked snow or (fish) balls as early as 1879 D.C. Having Ben Butler to the U.S. so long, he ought to know! 16.—As Dix’s father was not Tomson, Eli Perkins still retains his reputation as the readiest liar since Dionysius, or any other man. 17.—It originated with a man named Gobble, who wanted to take in everything that came along, even if it was Ruslin bye! Humor us in our idiocy! 18.—Hood kill a sparrow, but Robin? 9.—The humbug! 20,—We think it was Peter Simple. His biting the plate depended upon the fit of his false teeth. 21.—Yes! 22.—The candle was undoubtedly the light of other days, and lit out when George the Count and other gas monopolies made their appearance. 23.—Philadelphia? Where is it? Is it inha- bited? I have searched for it in vain, so I am compelled to give it up. 24.—Always thought he was aching to be monarch of the drama, 25th and last.—As you omit to state whether he committed murder we are unable to judge of his sanity, but if he did he was insane! Un- doubtediy! Opinion of twelve judges! Puckeringly yours, S. H. M. A HALIFAX CORRESPONDENT. Prize answers to Puck's Questions, on page 7 of No. 97, vol. 4. Not for the sake of the reward, but Puck may send the stamps, all the same: 1.—In the dark ages, with Israel-lights. 2,— Because it’s their summary process (Lex). 3-—By me sow! I won't tell till the Judge po- nies up. 4.—A buck-ram farmer in the land o’ cakes, 5.—Because he had /ac ‘‘ in-vent ro” / 6. The man that did it—no great shakes'- er. 7-—Jerome Bonaparte, when he took Miss Patterson for his wife, struck Billy (her father) for a Frank or a Crown. 8.—A Broadway banker, whose great-grand- mother had a peculiar key to it. 9.—The origin was a /iguor! a sweet morsel under the tongue. to. Because 5 cents cuts a shine in a-Gin- palace or court. 11.—The Egyptian princesses who . found Moses among the Bull-rushes answer both points. 12,— Because sheeps’ wool served to clothe the fabulons Bryan O'Lynn-in, 13.— Yes, But it’s a private mark which the Marquess has registered, and even Puck has no right to appropriate it as a ¢rade-mark. 14.—Supposing she did: she gave her own “tin” in return, 15.—Yes. In Hudson's Bay territory they're sold by the baker's dozen and made into drinks! 16.—]f Dick's father were Tom's son, it can be seen without kerosene lamps that Dionysius would be @ poor relation. 17.—The origin of Turkey gobblers 1s Rus- sia’s policy. Fun for the Czar. 18.—The Sparrow flies but never lies, A sin- gle (Sp)arrow hit the mark. 19.—Any domestic insect might supply its place. ‘ry the Colorado Beetle. 20—The great American Pie-Biter “ bit the dust.” His rival won the Plate, 21.—We do not construe it. my duck; it’s web-footed. 22.—Carburetted Hydrogen Gas — extin- guished by the Electric light. Ask Edison! 23.—Will consult Zadkiel and the planets, and advise Mexico how to plan it. 24. His father’s son and king of the terres- trial ball. 25.—We consider the man insane, But old Mother Hopkins told me that she heard Green’s wife say that Capt. Reid's wife thought that Col. Higgins’s wife believed that John Harris's wife told her that Granny Hooper heard the widow Bashman say that old Mrs. Lamb reckon’d positively that Samuel Dunkin’s wife told Spandel’s wife that her mother told her that old Miss Jinks heard Mother Cook say that she really believed it was a matter of fact that ‘when the man chased the jack rabbit into the shop of the carpenter who had lost five wives by small-pox and induced the Aunt of the Governor of Winnebago to elope,” &c., it was sufficient to drive a man into hysterics, Box 348. We decline it, Answers (full or partial sets) received from: J. H. B.; Willie Winkle; Pre-Adamite; Pina- fore, Denver; V. V. V.; Lemoyne Legrand; Herman and Dorry T. A.; Lou; Vindex; Con- stant Reader; L, S, McLellan; De Vaux, Mor- ristown, N. J.; Kriss Kringle; W. Story; Ne- braska Boy; B.& S.; Sweet William, New York City; Sweet William, Norwalk, Conn.;) Marcus S. W.; P. R. R.; and Dexter. comicbooks.com