Puck — January 1, 1879 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ES VERGING ON THE SENTIMENTAL. ANOTHER SENTIMENTAL SONG. Ti woald mck be the tar lave, eek to rest, | Your heart would be, I fear, love, In pain, though I were blessed. , I would not be the rose, love, ‘You kissed this summer morn, § For near its blossom grows, love, ‘What caused the tear—a thorn, But I would be the heart, love, ‘Which beats beneath your breast, So soft I'd play my part, love, You'd never know unrest. Jasexs R. Casreatz. ABOUT NEW YEAR'S CALLS. Puck, with his trousers pockets — pardon Mes- dames!—his coat-tail pockets, full of the cur- rent coin of the Republic, would like to retire and rest under his own vine and a fig-leaf. But the naughty, naughty naughtiness of mankind compels Puck to continue his labors in the cause of Virtue and True Goodness. Why can’t we have a Utopia, and let Puck put on a night-shirt and to go to his bed? He certainly needs rest from his labor. He is willing, if the generous people of this oe Nation will back him up, to subscribe erally to a Fund, to make’ America happier and better. . He offers to subscribe $2.3 to head the list, and Mist Hilton may send his Treasurer any time between 9 a. sf. and 7-30 P. M. on any Sunday, toask for the money. And if this Fund is nobly subscribed to, what grand results may follow! ‘Talk about your Era of Peace!—Your lamb lying down with its lion!!—Aha! my boy, think of the possibilities that this rheumatic fist suggests. Dana kissing Hayes! How's that for a New Year's Call on the Boss of the country ? Mister John Kelly calling én Mayor Cooper and putting the Mayor's foot on his neck. Mr. Beecher calling on God Almighty, to give him strength to ¢ell the truth, My dear, dear Jews, you shall be admitted to all my Hotels, and please buy all your Dry- Goods from Your friend, Jupce Hitton. That's the noblest work of X. J. Hilton. Please cum an giv me a leecherous hugg. Dam an dubble dam the bluddy bon-howlders. The Chinese musht go. I'll take off me pants on the San’ lots te-morror. ‘There is a kiss in here, Ben! Dinny Kearny To Gin. B. F, Butter. At Watacr’s “At Last” has been success- fully produced; but it was a little too much at first for Puck to notice’at any length. ‘This is “At Last” number two, the first being “Won at Last’ a season ago. But still the present play may be said to have more Meritt than the |. other, which was remarkable for its Steele Mac- kaye qualities. — New- Year's REsoLuTION—A vote of thanks to the man who stands treat. Campana doesn’t throw physigue to the dogs, but that’s just where his is fast going. PUCK. FITZNOODLE IN AMERICA. No. LXX. CHRISTMAS WEEK. Ya-as, everwy- body maw or less has been quite cwa- zy durwing the last few days, because, yer know, it is Chwistmas, and aw the end of the ye-ah. Chwistmas is all very well in its way, but I think it’s a fwightful baw to take any special twouble about it. I don’t care for any differwence between one day and another; it’s not the corwect thing, and shows poor bweeding. At home we do take some notice of the bus- iness; but he-ah in Amerwica they make a twe- mendous fuss about it, just as if there had never been a Chwistmas befaw. Everwybody wushes about to buy pwesents faw every othah fellaw. This aw is wathah a wespectable twait in the charwacter of the Amerwican people—learnt it fwom Gweat Bwitain, yer know. But then they overdo the thing, just as do everything else. I would a gweat deal sooner make pwesents than weceive them, but weally both things are wa- thah a baw. But of course I had to do the pwopah thing and make some pwesents, and it is d-doosid convenient that in this countwy can send things to gyurls without being expected to marwy them afterwards, Couldn’t do this at home, ye know, at all. I wacked and wacked my bwain to wesolve what Chwistmas twifle I should pwocure for the young woman to whom I have weferwed on severwal pwevious occasions. Horwibly diffi- cult to decide, by Joves but as she is an Amer- wican I thought I would do as the Amerwi- cans do, I went with Jack to Tuppenny’s jewelwy shop —quite a fair size—and I aw inspected numer- wous gimewacks, I forget the pwice, but faw a few hundwed pounds or dollars I purchased a wathah pwetty wuby wing, a bwooch with wubies, and wuby earwings. I sent Luigi with these things to the young | cweature with my compliments. Aw, pon my life, to my surpwise—I wouldn't believe it—she sent them the next day back with a neat note with the wemark that she weally couldn’t accept such wich pwesents. This would be corwect in England; but no fellaw can evah understand these Amerwicans. Aw I told Luigi to hand the wuby arwange- ments tu the chambermaid aw. Wondah awif Ishall be able to spend anothah wintah in New York. I shall twy for severwal weasons, but it will be terwibly hard work. 'Pon my soul, it is getting quite too fwightfully slow, and I think in a few months I shall twavel west again, and in perwhaps anothah ye-ah get away fwom the countwy. But Jack always says it is not easy to look into futurwity, and I suppose he is wight. ‘ I have not yet made up my mind to be twotted round on the first of January among varwious descwiptions of people one has wubbed shoulders with in the course of one’s existence. Nous verrons, as I have wemarked aw befaw. Aw sorwy the Pwincess Alice is no longer in existence. Died, ye know, somewhere on the continent, I believe she marwied a German Pwince. Wathah nice cweature. I wote to Lorne’ that Jack and I would in consequence wathah postpone our visit at Widean Hall—I think people call the place. He-ah a gweat deal is twanspirwing, and if I went everwywhere I should nevah get any west. Severwal new idiots are walking twemen- dously in Sedgmoor’s Gardens, and othah curwious places, Lots of fellaws wish to see them. I don’t admire this sort of thing—-makes | me aw too tired to see othah fellaws tired aw. THE CANADIAN COURT. Toronto, Dec. 21, 1878. Puck: All of your papers containing the cartoon of Marquis of Lorne dancing with the Princess were snapped up in Toronto immediately that they were issued, Tenclose you a Book which if you read care- fully you will see a good point for a cartoon. Your paper will secure a large circulation here by denouncing the Court (?) as hundreds of people here do not like the idea of a court (?). This Fanning, author of the Book, has sold over 3,000 of these Books. Give a good rub and try to stop this nonsense. All of the snobs " go for it. ‘The Society of Canada is composed of Ladies who were formerly Gov- ernesses, Lady’s Maids and Servants, and the men portion were stone cutters, Roustabouts, farmers and mechanics, and they place them- selves very high. Give the snobocracy a good one and all re- spectable people will like it. Respectfully, A Canapian, Professor Fanning’s exhaustive work will re- ceive proper attention in our next issue, Puck is rather inclined to thank the Professor for calling attention to the subject of court etiquette which has been sadly neglected on this conti- nent. THE BALL SEASON. Puck wishes to call attention to the fact that he will next week publish a brilliant and ex- haustive article on the coming Ball Season, giving the festive programme for the entire year, from the “Grand Bal des Sociétés Culi- naires Cosmopolite et Philantrophique,” popu- larly known as “The Cook’s Ball,” to the Charity Ball and the famous entertainment of the Benevolent Order of Hat-checks. This week Puck has only room to mention that the first ball of the season was that given at Irving Hall on Saturday last, by the Employees of Messrs. A. Werner & Co., Manufactures of American Champagne, and that it was quite as bright and sparkling and delightful as the champagne it celebrated. Answeys for the Anvious, Hasettine. She is giving you guff, Joux Buackertpce. Your “Fluff from the Factory Districts” is too light for us. A Prupe. We have carefully examined the contribu- tion you send us, and can only reply that we do not wish to start a puzzle department. L. L., Waverly, Towa, We think you must be a foreigner, The native who makes a pun on air and Pear was called in several centuries ago. Stowcus. Do we ever publish little original scraps from outsiders? We do—sometimes. But we expect the outsiders to supply the humor. Please bear this in mind and examine third column, second page. Nertiz Hatutway, You want to know why Puck doesn't wear trousers? Because they would be too warm in this weather. However, if you care to lend him a pair of your own, he may use them, We strongly suspect your femininity, Nettie, not alone from the chiro- graphy of your letter, but from the orthography of your signature. comicbooks.com