Puck — December 25, 1878 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. —— PUCK. No. 13 North William Street, New York. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. PUCK IN A NEW DRESS. 'HE very airy costume in which Puck flits through society and politics, taking notes of the sins and follies of the hour, give way this week to a costume more in keeping 3s | with the weather which old Prob. has sent us. SPECIAL NOTICES. Pocx is on Sale in London, at the News Agency of Messrs. 449, Strand, Charing Cross, and at THE WILLMER & ROGERS NEWS COMPANY, 11, Bou- erie Street, (Fleet Street). ‘Americans in Paris, hitherto reduced to ‘“Punch."* ““Fun"’ and “Judy.” will now find their natural paper on file at the ‘Herald’, Office, 49 Avenue de I’Opéra. ‘Wa cannot undertake to return rejected ‘communications, and to this rule we can make no exception. Remittances by Money Order, etc., are to be tgalteaed to Kurriza & Scorwanzuan. ‘B@ Our advertising friends are only required to pay bills presented on the billheads of Puck, with our stamp merexssap thereon, KEPPLER & SCHWARZMANN. Alas! Poor Hilton. Puck in a New Dress. At Last! pepeeneons wei Cal Ye Wintry Winds—illus. Se eax To the Pure All Things re. Playing Without Notes—illus, Bonnie Louise—poem Let Boarding - House Keepers Beware Y | Rhymes of the Day. A Daily Horror. -” Sav rt Ribbine’s X-mas Eve The Theatres We Wane to Get this Right, Pocx's Essuwtial Ont ov Con cones Answaxs yon v8 Axxiovs. By Country Houre. ‘Three Chtstmas Eves. Puck's Excuancks. From’ My Friends— ALAS! POOR HILTON. T is to be regretted that Mr. Hilton is as unsuccessful as a dry-goods man and a hotel keeper as he notoriously was as a jurist. But the fact remains, He took it upon himself to insult a portion of our people, whose noses had more of the curvilinear form of beauty than his own pug, and he rode his high hobby-horse of purse-proud self-sufficiency until he woke up one day to find that the dry-goods business was waning—growing small by degrees and beautifully less. Then Mr. Hilton arouses himself. He turns his great mind from thoughts of the wandering bones of Stewart; he brings the power of his gigantic brain to bear the great question, “How shall I revive trade?” He remembers that he had insulted the Jews, Aha! we'll conciliate them. So out of the coffers that A, T. Stewart filled he gropes among the millions, and orders the trustees of a few Hebrew chanties to bend the pregnant hinges of their knees at his door, and receive a few hundred dollars. But in this country the Jew is not ostracized. He stands equal before the law and before society with all his fellow-citizens, of whatever creed or nationality. And the Jew has stood up like a Man and refused to condone the gross and uncalled-for insults of this hap-hazard mil- lionaire, merely because he flings the offer of a thousand dollars in their faces. All honor to the Jews for their manly stand in this instance. Trampled upon, scourged, banished as they have been for centuries under the ban of re- gions persecution, at last they find a land in which they have rights equal with all their fellow-countrymen. They have in this instance asserted their rights, and have dared to main- tain their self-respect. It is the verdict of all thinking men that in ‘everything he has done, from the Grand Union Hotel, and the Women’s Home, down to Stew- art’s grave, Hilton has been a nificent failure—and the Jews have wona success, The frigorific wave calls for furs and arctic over-shoes, which Puck dons for the nonce. Not that, personally, Puck is cold. O, no! He is always warm; but merely, in the benevolence of his genial nature, that he may masquerade as Santa Claus for the benefit of his Democratic friends. There is that sympathy due the Democrats of this great and glorious country that thrills every manly breast at the sight of an idiot or adamfool. One pities them, and all the more because one can do nothing to aid them. The Democratic party has the greatest power in its hands of any branch of the goverament, for it has the majority in the House of Repre- sentatives. And what has it done with its power? It has wrangled over every question of importance and has not even kept up its party supremacy. It has truckled to a solid South; it has flirted with the financial issues; and it sees, to-day, the Republican party growing daily stronger and stronger throughout the land. Why is this thus? We have a dear little brother, feeble and thin; Leopold is his name; whom we nurse upon our knee, and whose little questions we answer. And our fairy Leopold says that he wants to be a Republican, because all the respectable classes belong to that party; whereas the mauvais sujets train in Democratic ranks. These statements are, alas! founded upon facts; and ‘facts is stubborn and won't be drove.” But Puck in the benevolence of his heart thinks it the duty of Charity in this Christmastide to help the stupid leaders of the Democracy; and when they wake on Christmas morning they will find what this little joker has done for them. Mr. Tilden can study the AB C of cipher dispatches; Mr. Potter can find a dark lantern to help him in his hitherto futile investigations; our own Fernandy will have a sort of Vade-mecum to teach him how to be a great man; Thurman can nurse his rag baby, and with the noble Nasby as their head and front, the Democratic party will go ahead and arrive at nothing, as usual. The old Greek said that an army of stags with a lion for a leader was more powerful than an army of lions led by a stag. But what shall be said of an army of stags led by stags, all leading their forces in different directions? This is the way the Democracy is marshaled on to victory, and, hopeless of guiding it to more successful paths, we can only sigh, as we wish them a “ Merry Christ- as.” AT LAST! T last the nation seems to be in the way of getting satisfaction for the money it § has spent to destroy its navy, The most bulgary of Bulgarians would howl at such an array of ships, offensive and defensive, as con- stitute what is, on paper, known as the United States Navy. In a time of absolute peace, with no rumors of war at home or abroad, Mr. Robeson spent one hundred and eighty millions of dollars of the people's money to smash up sound vessels, to half-build rotten ones, and, generally, to fill the pockets of favored contractors. hat remains? Little except the gold-cord- ing on the shoulder-straps of the idle officers, who have neither ships nor crews to command. And with that delicious dose far niente which especially belongs to the people of this self- governing country, our merchants and tax- payers put their hands in their pockets, and say: “Hum! ha! Really somebody ought to look into this matter!" Who is to look into it, if not the people who pay the taxes? It is they who should instruct their representatives in Congress to demand a just accounting of the money they pay into the treasury of the nation, Tf their cashier steals a few hundred dollars, or their errand-boy filches a half-dozen postage stamps, then the merchants rise on their ear; with loud voice they call upon the police, and they cease not in their efforts until all the enginery of the law railroads the culprits to the penitentiary. But in the instance of greater and more heinous crimes—those of public officials —every self-governing American waits for some other self-governing American to take the ini- tiative step, This is why we have the finest government the sun ever shone upon. Now that a Committee of Congress has had the courage to present Mr. Robeson for indict- ment, we trust he will be most condignly pun- ished. If it be not inhuman, we would suggest that he be sent to sea in one of the ships he built, commanded by some of his fancy sea-dogs. Puckerings. SrrincenT legislation—Lynch law, ‘Tues car-drivers get hire wages every week, and yet they are never satisfied. HE was a most sarcastic man who spoke of an acquaintance blown up in a boiler explosion as his ‘late s-teamed friend.” Tea contains tannic acid, which combines with milk and forms leather—and now we know what makes old maids so tough. “S'port is the usual short way for writing Shreveport.” —Detroit Free Press. And “s'cat,” by analogy, is diminutive for ‘Shoot the cat!" Nature has wise forethought. She holds back with the cranberry sauce until the very last fly has disappeared, or that delicious dish would be put on the index expurgatorius of every sensitive epicure. Tue first Hindoo woman who ever took out a patent for an invention has been rewarded by the English government, She lives in Calcutta, and she constructed an improved sewing-ma- chine. She is to have an India-annuity for her Indianuity. Tuese modern inventions are well enough in their way, but it’s quite useless to talk of them seriously to the autograph collector who has sent a cleverly couched query to some public man, and receives a prompt answer—written with a “‘ type-writer.” Now business is stable where once it was un- stable; We are able to buy again as we were “oncet” able; And the money we've made is Taken off by the ladies To get silks and satins of Arnold & Constable. NOTICE. No.9 (issue of May 7th, 187), No. 14 (issue of Fune 4th, 1877), & No. 26 (issue of September sth, 1877), No. 56 (issue of April 3rd 1878) of * Puck" will be Dought at this office, No. 13 North William Street, at full price. comicbooks.com