Puck — November 13, 1878 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

fail hose long pro- hin arr) the his the ere uld lea- ned of ker elp he re, ler ny ng cr id id Ys if is of PUCK. 13 THE BLUE STOCKING, Her skirt was wrapped with artful taste Beneath the taper of her waist, While lightly floated, unconfined, Her dark hair on the sportive wind. Her carriage, grace—her eyes were jet, Her garb in genial tintings met, And fairer maid ne’er bloomed to fade ‘Than tripped beneath that silken shade. On, on she sped—our sight was brief— She twirled a corner like a leaf, But ne'er can fade from memory’s view ‘That witching strip of stocking blue ‘That ringed above her summer shoe. —Geneva Courier, Ir empty vessels make the most noise, there is storage-room in most modern politicians,— Cincinnati Breakfast Table. Lapies like basque waists, but an editor can’t get along without a waist-basque-it is said. —Chicago Tribune, Here, come hold us down! _Is not a detec- tive in the United States Coinage Bureau a mint’s spy ?—WV.Y. News. BroTHeR Taumace firmly believes that he isa poor stick of a preacher who can’t be his own jumping-jack.— Oil City Derrick, A cuapP living outside of town is so mean that every time he washes his hands he has the water boiled down into soap again.— IWheeling Leader. ‘Tue wise man placeth the stock of his gun to his shoulder before he fireth, but the fool looketh down the barrel to see the ball start.— Rome Sentinel, Disinrectant: A substitute of smell for smell. A disinfectant, to be good, should smell louder than the original smell.— Chicago Tribune, Wuat makes a tramp kick at humanity, and feel sore all over his longitude, is to see a man walk out of asaloon leaving half of his beer on the table.— Breakfast Table. Ir the boy of to-day isn’t too buSily engaged in stealing ash-boxes for election bonfires, he is thinking what kind of skates he wants this winter.— Phila, Kronikle-Herald. Pror. Epison is at present engaged inventing something wherewith to obviate the necessity of getting up at 2 o’clock in the morning to rock the baby.—Buffalo Express. Tue gospel according to St. Lukens (copy- right applied for) don't go quite as far as to say to the guardians of a newly arrived cherub, “Don't give it a weigh.”— Yonkers Gazelle. Tue latest contribution to humorous litera- ture will be out in a few days, and will be en- titled “ Yum-Yum.” The book is probably in- tended as a female seminary companion.— Cin. Breakfast Table. “Wuat,” asks a correspondent, “ what causes the hair to fall out?” Before we answer we must know whether you are married or single, This is important to a true understand- ing of the case.— Keokuk Constitution. Tue Pittsburgh Ze/egraph says there is no such a word as ‘skun.” Just you hitch a “k” on to its rear end, and you will find that it is one of the strongest words in the bright lexicon of youth—or of old age, either.—Vorr. Herald. Kissinc the baby may result in deforming its nose and bringing on near-sightedness. ‘The safest plan is not to kiss a baby of the feminine persuasion until it attains the age of sixteen years. The cartilage of the nose is much stronger then.— Detroit Free Press. TO A PASTE-POT. Oh, potent aid to editorial pen, ‘Twin-blessing of the awe-compelling shears, How much we owe To thee, to thee! With shears alone we still might cut And come again But what were that, Without the power to fix, to stick ? What were it worth to ensnare the cooing dove, ‘The chicken plump, at night, from neighbor roost, Salt lump without, Without cropped wing? Then hail thee, paste-pot, hail! preserver thou Of what shears glean! thou mightier far than pen!— Boston Transcript. Aw Illinois chap shot a girl because she wouldn’t marry him, and if she had married him he would probably have beaten her first and shot her afterwards. Girls, your only safety in this country is to be born boys.— Xronikle- Herald. As everything indicates that we are going to have one of the coldest winters ever known on this continent, Lydia ‘Thompson went and bought another bracelet. She says she is going to keep warm if she has to smother herself.— Hawkeye. THE newest fashion of ladies’ hat is just out. It is a sort of two-story hen’s nest, with an owl’s eyebrow on one side, and asquirrel’s tail on the other, and is worn on a projection of seaweed about six inches in the rear of the head.— Cin. Breakfast Table. Ir was in a Stumptown Sunday school a vis- itor who was interrogating the children asked the question, ‘‘ Why was Lot's wife turned into a pillow of salt?” There was a pause, and then a small-boy with a preternatural growth of head piped out, “I suppose it was because she was too fresh!" —Newark Call. A Watersury woman who weighed some- thing over three hundred pounds got some anti- fat and took double doses of it, until the first thing she knew her skin was so loose that her nose hupg off the end of her chin and her eyes were at each corner of her mouth,— Cincinnati Breakfast Table. Dean STantey made a pilgrimage recently to the little knoll where Major André was hanged. André’s remains are in the Dean's keeping in Westminster Abbey. Modern Americans have little knoll-edge of the spot. —Boston Bulletin, Tue man who wanted to have “ Beautiful Snow” printed, so that he could paste a few copies in his scrap-book, got here ‘I'uesday. We did not expect him for some days yet, but he is buried in the poet’s corner of Simpson’s alley, just the same.—St//water Lumberman, A story is going the rounds that a Miss Mollie Fancher, of Brooklyn, has lived fourteen years without food, and doctors certify to the story. That woman should marry a country editor. What this country needs is to have a race of people raised up that could live fourteen years without food, and Mollie and an editor is the best cross we can think of —/ech’s Sun, I show'd my love my fond heart, And asked would she be mine Till cruel death do us part? She answered me, “ach nein!” I show’d my love my bank-book— Ah, then I touched her soul! She sighed, with such a frank look, And sweetly lisped, “ja wohl” VY. Com. Adv. PREMONITIONS OF WINTER. "Tis now upon the windy slope ‘The russet leaves repose; Now languid fades the heliotrope, The daisy and the rose, And the gauze undershirt.—Puck. And now the farmers’ hands are chapped, Cold sores are round his nose; His wife sells butter for thirty cents And invests in striped hose, Warranted all wool and cheap At thirty cents a pair.—Boston Post. Tue Butler choir will please rise and sing! Shall we gather at the river, the beautiful, the beautiful Salt river? Chorus: (now all sing!) Yes, we'll gather at the river, gather with Ben- jamin at the river; the beautiful, the beautiful Salt river.—Boston Post, AuWways pick up a hot poker by the cold en Never spend your money when you can get things for nothing. Do not despise a twenty-cent cigar or a $2 dinner because another man pays for it. Remember that it costs more to go toa high- priced theatre than it does to take a back pew in a free church, Nothing is troublesome to you that other people do for you willingly. Never pay to-day the man you can put off till to-morrow. Never trouble yourself to do for another what he can do just as well for himself. Never buy what you don’t want, simply be- cause the man says he is just out of it. Do not poultice your own elbow for the boil on another man’s neck. When angry, be sure you can handle your man before you call hima liar.—Burlingion Hawkeye. In that clever paper, Puck, this week there is an inimitable operatic cartoon by Keppler, in which Hauk, Campanini and other songsters are portrayed in action, and, sitting in a cor- ner, very pale, with her head bound up, and a bow! of gruel in her hand, is the invalid canta- trice, from whose notes piqués so much is hoped. ‘This incapacitated figure is igresistibly droll by contrast with the brilliant-hued artistes associated with it in counterfeit presentment. Among the most conspicuous of these is: of course the audacious and dashing Carmen, playing the castianets, and topped with the jaunty and characteristic Spanish toque. — Wad- ‘singham, in Baltimore Saturday. Pr ‘ “A tee. amam COMPRESSED YEAST APE FELISCHMANN & COS. CENCINE ARTICLE Established A. D, 1802. Cheapest Book-Store in the World. 175672 NEW and OLD Standard WORKS in Every Department of Literature, Almost given away, Mammoth Catalogue free, Books bought. LESGGAT BROS., 3 BEEKMAN ST., Opp. Post Office, N. 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