Puck — May 1, 1878 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

14 PUCK. Iza, the billiard player, scored 1587 caroms without cessation, at Galesburg, last week. It was a case of-Izar rolling rapidly.— ew Or- deans Picayune, THERE is a religious revival in progress at Princeton College, and the good work is greatly aided by the prevalent feeling of uncértainty of life.— Worcester Fress. Strips of lead are used by many girls in frizzing their hair, as it does the thing better than pieces of newspaper. Step by step the press is losing its grip.—. Y. Mail. Come, then, thou goddess fair and frée, Mrs. Elizabeth R. T , Haste thee, nymph, and bring with thee Thy confession No. 3. —The World and J. Milton, Conx.ino's explanation seems to mean that he loaded the gun, but he didn’t suppose he had left it lying around loose where anyone could get it and fire the thing off.—/hiladel- phia Times. Peacu brandy enters into the mucilage com- position on postage stamps; so when you see the next drunken man, don’t lay it to whiskey. He may have just mailed a letter.—Zurner's Falls Reporter. Fame is tardy in reaching some men; but if, the man is deserving, it is bound to strike him sooner or later. A Berks county editor has had a blue and red canal boat named after him.— Norr. Herald. Wuen you hear a country church choir sing- ing, “There will be no more sorrow there,” you conclude at once that either the aforesaid choir will not be there, or they will not be per- mitted to sing.—Derrick, Ture is no reason for Philadelphia becom- ing frightened just because the President is in town to-day. As he is accompanied by his wife he will be found perfectly harmless.— Philadelphia Kronikle- Herald. A Norristown fisherman on Friday last caught twenty-seven trout, some of them, he says, weighing over two pounds apiece. ‘He would have caught more, but he is not a very good liar.—WNorristown Herald. A MAN died in Louisville the other day who professed to have kissed Bobby Burns's wife. If he had kissed our wife he would have died long ago. — Keokuk Constitution, Why so? What's the matter with her?— Graphic. Wuen you look at the goddess—for we un- derstand she is an alleged goddess—on the new silver dollar, doesn’t it make your blood boil to think of the man who hasevidently chucked her under the chin with a croquet mallet?— Hawkeye. ‘Tne elevation of the stage is the happy title of anew reform. We suppose it is the design to elevate the stage sufficiently to enable even Lydia Thompson’s troupe to touch it without: being obliged to reach their feet down so.— Fond Du Lac Reporter. Barnum the showman is generally regarded as a man who fears no competition; but it isa somewhat significant fact that he nevér starts out with his circus and menagerie till the Con- necticut Legislature has disbanded for the sea- son.— Worcester Press. Mr. Wueeter, of New Hampshire, who died worth $11,000, seems to have been a pleasant sort of aman. His will says, “Expend it all on my tombstone.”—£x. Some of the heirs have already filed objections to this, and the money will probably be expended on the law- yers. Mr. Wheeler will be extremely fortunate if he gets a hemlock slab for a tombstone.— Derrick, APOLLINARIS NATURAL Mineral Water, The Queen of Table Waters. HIGHLY EFFERVESCE Apollinaris PROF. J. A. W. KL r fosp., ‘Wholesome, and abnats: superior to all others.” DOREMUS, “Absolutely pore and ‘wholesome; superior to all for daily use; free from all th je od aeainst Croton and artificially aerated DR. R HOOD, President of the I dten Roctety, & PETER SQUIRE, F. LS. roth Edition of Couraxion FISH PARSIACOPAEIA yspepsia, and Loss of to 1, Surgeon Physician der, and of the respiratory organs; agreeable and useful. FREDERICK DE BARY & CO., 41 £43 Warren Strect, NEW YORK, Sole Agents for United States and Canadas. FOR SALE BY DEALERS, GROCERS AND DRUGGISTS. Evere genuine bottle bears the Yellow label, Tue first quadrant of the earth, counting from Greenwich westward, has its western limit on a line about six miles east of Burlington. It is proposed to build a branch into the city, and not let Sagetown have a bloated monopoly. —Burlington Hawkeye. “Wuat,” asked Professor Miller of the smart bad boy in the history class, ‘‘what did. the Pilgrim Fathers first do after landing at Ply- mouth Rock?” ‘Licked a hackman,” replied the smart bad boy, who went to Niagara with his parents last vacation.— Hawkeye. Cox's proposition to imprison any man who shall print anything on the stars and stripes — can anybody remember whether little Sammy used to talk that way when they were trying to tear the old flag in half? He evidently feels that he is one of the dunghill Cox, and wants the public tu make game of him.- Aula, Bulletin. ‘THE venerable Hendrick B. Wright confesses to a grand ignorance of Pennsylvania geo graphy. Before he runs for Governor, he should get a list of our rivers and Con-’em-o'er. (Per- sons at a distance are informed that the joke is on the word Conemaugh.) —/%ila. Bulletin. Tse Common Council of Brooklyn recently spent $398.50 of the city’s funds to bury one of their members, and P' thinks this was a frightful extravagance. ‘The taxpayers of some misgoverned cities would willingly pay $500 per member to have the entire Common Coun- cil laid away in the silent tomb.---Morristown Herald. A SYMPHONY. PART I, As the spring wore on and the weather got All sultringly sultry and dad binged hot, The late Mr. Brown declared he'd not Be melted to death in that dry-goods store, And hence he concluded he'd wear no more ‘The undershirt he erst had wore. PART I, A little cold in his delicate lung A little song by the church-choir sung— A little corpse to the grave-yard brung. Journal, THE GREAT EUROPEAN NOVELTY. HUNYADI JANOS. 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