Puck — April 3, 1878 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘Tue New York Sun has a long alleged poem entitled “‘ America needs no Army.” In dark moments of doubt and depression we have sometimes thought that perhaps America might be able to eet along without a New York Sun. —Boston Globe. One of the grandest sights we ever beheld was Theodore Tilton, the other day, posed like a Roman senator before an apple-stand, while a dark-eyed Sicilian maid filled his rear pocket with a pint of peanuts. -- Brooklyn Eagle. ‘Ture is a strong difference between Senator Blaine and Senator Conkling. The latter is always preparing a speech which he never de- livers, while the former is always delivering a speech which he never prepares.— Philadelphia Limes. New oath to be taken by members of the House of Representatives—‘t You do solemnly swear to keep sober as much as possible, and at all events not to use this chamber for exhibitory purposes without paying a license.”"—Buffalo Express. AN editor's wife never goes through her husband’s other trousers pockets to strike a package of love letters. Editors are not like the wicked, unfaithful men of the world—edi- tors rarely have the other trousers—Catshiil Recorder. A GENTLEMAN suffering from gout was ex- plaining toa friend that his doctor did not permit him to eat sweets, potatoes, fruits, fari- naceous vegetables, ale, beer, wine—. ‘ Well,” exclaimed the friend, “ why don’t you get an- other doctor ?”— WV. Y. Herald, Counterreits of the new silver dollar are already in circulation. Young Mikauber, who is always financially depressed, says the bogus coin may be easily detected. ‘If I get a new dollar,” he explains, “it is counterfeit; if I don’t get one, it is genuine.”—orr. Herald. Come listen, O love, to my zither; She lists not—some snoozer is with her. + T'll just lie in wait Till he comes through the gate, And cave in his hat with my zither. — Worcester Press. A Lowext man who lost his good character some. time ago was severely hauled over by some of his former friends. ‘‘ I know it, boys. I know my character's gone, lost entirely. And,” he added rather pointedly, “it's too confounded bad, for it was the only one in the place worth saving.” — Lowel! Journal. ‘Tue young man paced the parlor, While she was cleaning her teeth; And he thought of the brilliant dollars Of the daddy who would bequeath. The old man sat on a counter, With his head between his hands, And rejoiced that his girl had a lover Who would help him to meet his demands. Both mistaken.— Washington Capital. Mr. Gopwin got a sound rap from Professor Youmans in the Popular Science Monthly for his bad taste at the Tyndall dinner. He had quoted from Wordsworth in the course of his attack, like some callow sophomore, as follows: “Great God! I'd rather be A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn.”” Whereupon Professor Youmans remarked: “It is a matter of indifference from what source Mr. Godwin chooses to procure his lac- teal fluid.” —Saphir’s N.Y. letler in Washington Capital. Tue son of a dyspeptic sire «Is not the kind of a laddie To hanker sedulously for The dolor of his daddy. — Yonkers Gazette. PUCK. DANGEROUS LEGISLATION. Here shall the Press the jle’s right maintain, ‘Unawed by influence and urbribed by gain; Here patriot Truth her glorious precepts draw, Pledged to Religion, Liberty and Law. Freemen, awake! Your liberties are in danger! The institutions for which your fathers shed their blood are threatened! In the Legislature last Friday a member from Delaware county introduced a bill making it a misdemeanor for anyone to “ purchase at public drinking places intoxicating drinks for any other person than himself"—in other words, to deny you the glorious North American privilege of setting ‘em up. Awake, freemen! awake! awake! In the name of all that’s dear to an American heart, we call upon you to arouse yourselves and resent this insult to Hail Columbia. Re- member the struggles of our forefathers. Remember Waterloo and Bunker Hill, and the campaign of 1876. Remember Princeton Col- lege. And don’t forget that you owe two dol- lars for the Weekly Patriot and Statesman, We must have money at once. Subscribers in arrears will please take notice. This is posi- tively the last call. But we digress. We desire to call the attention of every true American citizen to the fact that this Delaware county measure must be crushed in its inception. Summer with its juleps will soon be upon us. Already the mint grows greenly upon the hill- side; the golden straw is waiting to be p'ucked from the mow, and the ice is mellowing in the sawdust. Shall it be written upon our statute- books that no man shall say, “Come up and take something?” No, by heaven, no-o-o-oh! —Oil City Derrick. Lorp BEaconsFiELp is credited with saying that he has the Queen on his side, Parliament with him, and the People of England at his back, and that if he were ten years younger he would remake the map of Europe. Several en- terprising newspapers have many times remade the map of Europe during the Eastern war, without having a queen on their side, a parlia- ment with them, or anything but a page of advertisements at their back.— Worcester Press. Tue Brooklyn Union-Argus finds on the reverse side of the new silver dollar an “eagle in a spasm, as if it had been exposed two hours in an amateur shooting-match without being hit.”— Worcester Press, In Rio Janeiro it is no unusual thing to see boys of twenty-one whose mothers are no more than thirty-three. Ex. ‘To see boys of thirty-three whose mothers are no more than twenty-one would be a much more remarkable sight.—orristown Herald, eens Oe COMPRESSED WORTMLESS IMITATIONS 1 PEL ISCHMANN & COS, GENCINE ARTICLE NOTICE. No. 26 (issue of Seplember sth, 1877) of * Puck” will be bought at this office, No. 13 North William Street, at full price, Pictorial Department SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. Havine completed all necessary arrangements, and in compliance with numerous requests, the publishers and proprietors of Puck take pleasure in announcing that they have opened a GENERAL DESIGNING OFFICE, where the services of the best artists in America, including those of the dis- tinguished cartoonist, Mr. JOSEPH KEPPLER, are employed in furnishing all kinds of Illustrations, in the most perfect style, on short notice, and at reason- | able rates, The Theatrical Profession will find it to their especial advantage, in arranging for LITHOGRAPHIC PORTRAITS, ; to apply at this office, where Mr. | Josep Kerpzer is in personal charge | of the department. Address, Puck Publishing Company, 13 N. WILLIAM ST., NEW YORK. comicbooks.com Syeo 2 8 86 mic