Puck — March 27, 1878 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. IN THE SPRING. SOIL the Spring above the meadow twittering swallows , joyous flit, In the Spring all nature’s gilded with the loveliest * charms, to wit: In the Spring the little bluebird sings within the maple- tree, + In the Spring the cowslips pecping from the grasses dot the lea, In the Spring on twilight’s ‘cloudships coral draperies repose, In the Spring a livelier lustre on Melissa's bonnet glows. In the Spring from flower to flower wander sportive butterflies, In the Spring the daisy blossoms and the hyacinth likewise. In the Spring within the woodlind all the warblers gaily fute, In the Spring the old Muscova sits serenely on her fruit, In the Spnng the cressy brooklet with a lyric sweetness flows, In the Spring the fragrant zephyr Shakes the dewdrop from the rose, * In the Spring a tint of amber on the honeysuckle lies, In the Spring soft opal cloudlets wanton in cerulean skies. In the Spring the sweet acacia, as per custom, tips and tilts, In the Spring the happy schoolboy walks around the street on stilts. In the Spring a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of summer clothes, In the Spring are other matters which most everybody knows, R. K. Muwxirtrick. THAT SMALL BOY BOARDER ? AND HIS LITTLE JOKE. Says Mrs, Straight to her husband one morn- ing: “If we must take boarders, my dear, we might &s well begin on a:small-boy, because, don’t you see, we can economize on provisions. Surely a small-boy won't eat as much as a grown person. And there's your friend Mr. Johnson, he has an office-boy who doesn’t live at home and——" Mr, Straight takes a bird’s-cye view of the small-boy boarder. A thought weighs on his mind. He finally decidessto give it utterance. “Young man,” *he asks earnestly and impres- sively, “ have you much of astomach ?” “Me?! answers the small-boy with a snap, “‘ Me? I’ve got a stomach like a little baby.” Mr. Straight smiles contentedly, and the small-boy boarder moves in. Wy e y Ht As Mr. and Mrs. Straight become impressed with the appetite of the small boy boarder they exchange significant glances. Mr. and Mrs. Straight one morning bring in | their youngest chiki, and Mr, Straight summons the small boy-boarder and says: Young man, did you, or did you not tell me that you had a stomach like a little baby.” And the small boy-boarder taking in the infant at a glance, answers very meekly: “‘'hat’s about the size of it.” s * * 2 2 8 Which is where the small boy-boarder’s little joke came in. It js never to late to mend an ulster. Ir Byron has any admirers living, they ought to protest against the use of his name in con- nection with a bankrupt sale of paper-collars in Chatham Street. A Fraup is traveling around the country pretending to fix roofs. He leaves them worse than he finds them.— Zx. He must be a very | ingenious man. | | _ THe widow Van Cott made reference to Bob Ingersoll as a ‘poor, barking dog.” He re- sponded in the following words: “My dear Madam—Did you make this remark as a Chris- tian, or as a lady? Did you say these words to illustrate in some faint degree the refining in- fluence upon women of the religion you preach? What would you think of me if I should retort, using your language, changing only the sex of the last word? I have the honor to..remain yours truly, R. G. INcERsout.” When the letter was read to George Francis Train he threw aside a whole pint of peanuts and wept to think that the opportunity of replying had not fallen to him. COMED Iv. COURTSHIP WI.H VARI \TIONS. Adapted trom the French of H. pe Bowtex, by H.C. Bunmex. PUCK'S Y-STORIES. [eontixven.) Ernest (with promptitude and decision), I will not. Vinita (surprised). What? ERNEST. I love you, and— VirGinia. ‘Then I'll go back to Peekskill instanter, . Ernest. You can’t. I saw your coachman pass the window just this moment. He is undoubtedly gone to the tavern, which is half-a-mile down the road. I mean, I can’t. Vircinia. , Theny if I’ve got to stay, we'll settle this at once. I ate you. 1 detest you. I shall always continue to’hate and detest you! ERNesT. Virginia—cousin! : Virainia (not at all modifie Don’t come near me. Ernest. But— ‘Virainta, No! She arises, walks swiftly-to the mirror, and removes her hat, which, being of the Gainsborough pattern, lends a rakish air to the wearer. Its removal enables her to look consistently languid, and she throws herself into a large arm-chair by the table and tries to pose for a martyr, The unfortunate ERNEST pauses in a moody romenade up and down the room, and turns to address er. Immediate resumption of hostilities. ERNEST. Look here, Virginia. VIRGINIA. I will not look there, sir. Iam your victim. Don’t speak to me. You've pitt me all out of sorts. Ernest. You must hear me! My life is at your feet— Mrs. BERKELEY looks down at the tiny tip of her shoe, resting comfortably on a brioche, as if to verify the asser- tion, Her lover, however, refuses to take any notice of this smail outrage, and proceeds. I will make you the tenderest of husbands— ‘Virginia (starting to her feet, in horror). Husbands /, The audacity of the wretch! ‘ ERNEST, Well, suppose— Viroinia (tragically pacing the room). Leave me, sir! I will bear this no longer. ERNEST. At least, pardon me if I— VIRGINIA, ‘There’s no #f about it. You have. But Iwill not pardon you. Ernest (émmovable). What a fool I’ve been! Oh-there, there— I'm going. You see I’m going. Vincinia (unable to sce anything of the sort). ‘Then what are you stopping there for? ‘Ernest (frankly). To look at you. You are so deucedly pretty that way. Upon this he prudently retires, just as Mrs. BERKELEY returns to her arm-chair. Left alone, the young lady laughs quietly to herself for a moment, and then looks, serious. Her cheeks flush, apparently with indignation, and she indulges in a brief and fragmentary soliloquy. Vircinia, The wretch! (With satisfaction) 1 did well to laugh at him. (With a alight louch of com- punction) Perhaps I laughed a little too much. 4 comicbooks.com