Puck — March 6, 1878 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| utk’s Jerihanges. A For two-itious remark—“ Zwei lager."— N.Y. Commercial. Tue Graphic's new name for the ‘jams’ is the ‘James Fitz James.” In the hands of men entirely great, the para- graph is mightier than the editorial.—Cour.- Journal, . “Waar will the present year bring forth?” asks an exchange. Bring Fourth of July, of course,—Fulion Times. Tue Worcester Spy reminds Gail Hamilton that there is no pop when a champagne bottle is opened a second time. Aw exchange asks: ‘Can we drink with impunity?” Certainly you can, if Impunity invites you.— Cin. Sut, Night. Mum sociables originated in the barber shops years ago. The customer has the mum, and the barber the sociable. —Rome Sentinel, Tue Father of his Country hasn’t a monu- ment as yet; but there is a burglar-alarm con- nected with his tomb.— Worcester Press. Lire having become a burden to the Turk, the Czar says, with a sweet Hibernian accent, “Let me Asia all I can."—Fut Contributor, Ir is said that the latest mania of pottery decorators is to paste pictures on bald heads and coat them with varnish.— Catskill Recorder. Georcr Francis Train can live on two peanuts a day, But why should peanuts be squandered to ‘keep this man aiive?— Phila. Chronicle, Cannipats don’t care much for poetry as a rule, though they have been known to. speak in highest terms of a little sonnet.—Cin. Sat. Night. : Rosert Toomns mastered the science of political economy so thoroughly in five minutes that he was able to remark of repudiation, “Oh, national honor be d——d."—Zribune. Mr. Haves made a mistake when he al- lowed himself to be counted into the Presiden- cy. Nature intended him for the man to travel around the country and open church fairs.— Kronikle-Herald. Persons having rich relatives that they wish to have put out of the way will do well to re- member that the students of Princeton College are graceless ruffians and skillful shootists.— Phila. Kronikle-Herala. Tue “Sweet Singer of Michigan,” acting upon the advice of her particular friend, Col. Jack Ryder, of Cleveland, has applied for the vacancy occasioned by the death of the Ah- koond of Swat.—Cin. Sat. Night. Journacism is a glorions calling. — Cleveland Herald, Yes, we're all seized with enthusiastic spurts like that once in a while, but in our mo. ments of depression we sometimes think we would rather be a plumber during a mild wii ter.—St, Louis Journal. Vassar CoLtece is a sweet place. When the astronomical class plays billiards, the girls say, “Now, Louise, caramel on the red pop-corn ball.” ‘*There’s a kiss on the white.” ‘Pocket Mary's marsh mallow, Jennie.” ‘Then they all “PUCK. go up into the observatory and sing, “Treacle, treacle, little star." —Herald P. J. Puck says the speech of Rewey’s paper, the Worcester Press, ‘‘is silvery, which is a bad thing.” But then its wit is golden, you know, which is a good thing.— Yonkers Gazette. Some of the papers are discussing “ woman's right to swear.” Nonsense! She don’t need any privileges of that kind —not while her facial muscles remain in good working order. A woman swear! The idea! Why ‘bless your in- nocent quills, she can look more rasping things in five minutes than the mate of a steamboat could say in three weeks.— Cincinnati Break. fast Table. Is there a woman in all this broad, sunny land of ours who doesn’t believe that carving knives were created and kept sharp and nice for. the sole purpose of splitting kindling and opening fruit cans?—St. Lowis Journal. Yes, there are hundreds of them — women who think such a knife the only thing ever invented for gouging grass from between the bricks in the sidewalk, and digging holes to plant garden seed.— Norristown Herald. “Mr. Perkins a free-lover! I'll not believe Such a thing of the spouse of my Ida.” And at once Mrs. B. bade her child to explain; Which she did as she sat down beside her. “Why, mama! it is one of my dear hubby’s jokes, Which he ventures so oft with impunity, When you gave him an int’rest in me he averred That he'd joined the own-Ida community. — Yonkers Gasette. Tar hideous piece of plaster-of-paris, repre- senting an exaggerated George Washington growing ont of the back of a monstrous eagle, which held a conspicuous place in the main vestibule of Memorial Hall, during the Centen- nial exhibition, was knocked down the other It was knocked down at auction for one day. dollar. It is supposed the purchaser desires to place it his front yard to scare off tramps. —Aorristown Herald, ‘Tue Norristown Hera/d is publishing a serial story, the hero of which is none other than “brother Derrick.” If Wilkie Collins, George Elliott, Charles Reade, or any other story wri- ters would like to have us fora heroor heroine, they can obtain terms by addressing this office and inclosing $2.50. P, S.—On second thought, we have a repu- tation to sustain, and Charles Reade is notified that we can’t therefore be any heroine of his. —Derrick, AMD YET BEING BOLD AS. COMPRESSED YEASY WORTMLESS IMITATIONS (AIL; PEEISCHMANN & CO’, CENGINE ARTICLE _——— German Printing and Lithographic Inks BLACK AND COLORED, for all typographic or lithographic purposes. Manufactured by JAENECKE BROS, & F. SCHNEEMANN, Hannover. Sigmund Ullman, 57 Maiden Lane, New York, ‘Sole Agent for the United States. BRONZE POWDERS IN ALL THEIN VARIETY, PUCK’S Pictorial Department SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. Havine completed all necessary arrangements, and in compliance with numerous requests, the publishers and proprietors of Puck take pleasure in announcing that they have opened a GENERAL DESIGNING OFFICE, where the services of the best artists in America, including those of the dis- tinguished cartoonist, Mr. JOSEPH KEPPLER, are employed in furnishing all kinds of Illustrations, in the most perfect style, on short notice, and at reason- The able rates, Theatrical Profession will find it to their especial advantage, in arranging for LITHOGRAPHIC PORTRAITS, to apply at this office, where Mr. Josep Keppcer is in personal charge of the department. Address, Puck Publishing Company, 13 N. WILLIAM ST., NEW YORK. yaar anasse2 ~ comicbooks.com