Puck — February 27, 1878 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Puck’ 8 sages ‘Tue fact is revealed by the Savannah Zimes that “In the bright Lexington of Kentucky there’s no such word as ‘No, I thank you; I never drink.’”” Ir-was because he could not tell a lie that Washington confessed that he was the father of this country, but it was terribly humiliating. — Rome Sentinel. ‘Tue Whitehall Zimes comes out with another war map. It is laced up behind, same as the other, but it is somewhat longer in the waist. —Worcester Press. Knorttep damasses are seen among the new goods.—Fashion Hem, This probably refers to those clerks who part their hair in the middle. —Oil City Derrick. A Liperry Street boy, on being asked by his mother to explain the absence of certain cookies from the pantry, said she would find them credited in next year’s account.—Xome Sen- finel. You can teach a boy that if he plays the three- and-four domino ona three leaving six exposed at the other end, it counts ten, in about five minutes, but it will take him all day at school to learn that four units and six units make ten units.—Rome Sentinel. Ar Trenton, the other day, live crows were handed out by an unknown rustic to eager buyers at ten cents a bird. Now, we don’t like to buy our crow meat of parties unless we know them. We always bi-chromate of potash.— N.Y. Com, Adv. What ought to be done with Catlin?—Zen Thousand Exchanges. An envious bachelor says that young ladies warble sweeter when there is an apostolic young man present, and that, upon the occasion of such clerical calls, the maternal guardian pro- duces currant-jam that is never brought forth even during the visits of very near and dear relations of the family.— Yonkers Gazette. Snwn vanity, young man, as you would your tailor—it’s dangerous baggage. It was the rain- bow coat that made all the trouble for Joseph, and the love of wall-paper patterns in shirt- fronts may some day lure you by insidious by- ways to the lagoon of imbecility, and send you forth cramped to death with a corset.— Break- fast Table. “T'm so glad!” exclaimed an Oil City young lady to her mother yesterday morning, *I have always wanted to see a bull-fight, and now I can.” “Amelia, child,” replied the mother, very much horrified, “ what do you mean ?” “Why, I see by our fashion journals that the Spanish styles are coming in this spring.” ‘The mother went out to split the stove wood with a sense of great relief.—One of Derrick’s Worst. en dollars fine for driving over this bridge faster than a walk.’ What does that mean?” asked a little boy who was riding with his father. Father explains: “If we whip up and go fast the policeman will stop and take us to the mayor, and he will not let us go till we pay $10.” Silence in the carriage. Meditating boy speaks: ‘ Papal if it warn’t for the police: mans and for God, what lots of fun we could have, couldn’t we ?”— Albany Argus. ‘Tne fact that he never wore a helmet hat is said to be the crowning evidence of ‘Thomas Lord's sanity.— Utica Observer. Now it is claimed that President Hayes's politics button up the back.—W. ¥. Herald. An Ohio man has invented a button which is put on with a screw-driver. Now let him invent a buttonhole into which it shall be buttoned with a pile-driver, and mankind will rise up and call him blessed.— MWorcester Press. A Paterson man, who is a great breeder, was exhibiting to a number of visitors, a new, large, elegant brown mule. In order to test his powers of argument, a number of lager-beer kegs were rolled up, and the brown mule, in nineteen seconds, kicked the heads out of eleven kegs in a possible ten. ‘The visitors expressed great wonder, when the Paterson man said, “But you ought to see him in summer, when he’s really thawed out.” —Herald P. /. Tue following correspondence passed_be- tween a gentleman who had loaned a friend one hundred dollars and his friend: “Dear Sir—In closing my books I find that you are indebted to me one hundred dollars. Please remit. Yours, &c.” “Dear Sir—In opening mine I find that I haven’t a cent, so I can’t. Yours, &c."— Cin, Sat. Night. ‘THe following pretty lines, addressed to «The Indigo Season,” will be very suitable for Sunday-school recitations: Loud wailing on Tirhoot’s wild shore! ‘The dodo waves his waxen spumes, The bee her garbled gums resumes, While cutch comes on from Singapore. ‘The ryot his cerulean ass Bestrides in dignified incline, While flows the Corlic’s flavine wine From ‘Tenasserean to Madras, ‘The barbican is rimmed with green; Basilica, in softest tones, Unites with Berengaria’s bones, Where scornful Rungpore sleeps serene, Within the dead dinbungah pool “The patna hides his spirit cowed, Where Maddapollams, croaking loud, Consumers soothe in liquid cool. Oh! thus I ever would deceive, Rut jute combines with boldest seed And horrors to rejections lead! Exchange declines and Hindoos grieve! — Boston Adv. Li htetooe ay eee YEASY MEPS ED, aoe eas CATT, PELISCHBUNN & COS. CENCINE ARTICLE PUCK’S Pictorial Department SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. Havinc completed all necessary arrangements, and in compliance with numerous requests, the publishers and proprietors of Puck take pleasure in announcing that they have opened a GENERAL DESIGNING OFFICE, where the services of the best artists in | America, including those of the dis- | tinguished cartoonist, | Mr. JOSEPH KEPPLER, are employed in furnishing all kinds of Illustrations, in the most perfect | style, on short notice, and at reason- able rates, The Theatrical Profession | will find it to their especial advantage, in arranging for | LITHOGRAPHIC PORTRAITS, to apply at this office, where Mr. | Josep Kerpter is in personal charge | of the department. Address, Puck Publishing Company, 13 N. WILLIAM ST., NEW YORK. comichooks.