Puck — February 20, 1878 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. 7 PUCK’S ESSENTIAL OIL OF CONGRESS. SENATE. Wasuincton, February 14, 1878. The Tax on Tobacco. SENATOR WITHERS trotted out resolutions, adopted by Virginian bucolics, to shake up Congress to ‘allow American citizens to obtain a chew and a smoke at about half present rates. He thought tobacco was a necessary of life. ‘The tax was decidedly too high. A man ought to be able to obtain tobacco for nothing, or perhaps it wonld be even better to pay him handsomely for using it. Whiskey. SENATOR Morritt said there were no two ways about it, and the tax on distilled spirits must remain. Senator MAaTTHEWs remarked that some weak-minded people were losing confidence in Congress. ‘There was one method of regaining this confidence; it was by letting distilled spirits severely alone—he meant from a taxable point of view. There must be no reduction on cocktails. Houst oF REPRESENTATIVES. Mr, Gupson wished it to be distinctly under- stood that, he was.a Democrat, and that Louis- jana was the dunghill'on which he crowed. No representative of his State had ever made a bargain and Stuck to it. He, of course, refer- red to any bargain in regard to the Presidency. ‘They were all too high-toned and high-minded for that, anyway. He liked the Electoral bill, although some of his dearly-beloved colleagues didn’t. The gentlemen who had diverted themselves by altering election-returns ought ‘to get their just reward; and President Hayes needn’t bother himself about that. Mr. Hate thought that if ever men really existed who were a little lower than angels, the members of the gentle and virtuous Louisiana Returning Board were those particular hair- pins. They were men, take them for all in all, Americans, he feared, would never look upon their like again. Why were they called forgers, thieves and swindlers?_ He (Mr. Hale) would answer in lieu of Mr..Echo.’ It was because their remarkable qualities were too beautiful to be understood by the common herd. It was monstrous that they should be persecuted by disappointed politicians, SENATE, Feb, 15th. The Silver Bill. : SENATOR Bane asked Senator Voorhees, of: Indiana, what in thunder he meant by in- sinuating that silver was demonetized secretly. _ The Senator knew nothing about anything, and “would ventura to'say he hadn't had a silver dol- £- larfin his pocket for years. SENATOR THURMAN knew’ that no human / bein knew about a bill for demonetizing sil- ver. ..He didn’t, and,she felt competent to speak for the remainder of the humtan race. Herd a long discussion ensued about amend- ing amendments, : SENATOR Eponps wished to do as the other boys did. - He wanted’to ‘have an amendment, too. His ideas in the’amendment line were that nothing should interfere with the liberty of anybody to coin anything they darned please. ¥ SENATOR SARGENT thought that Edmunds’s head Was level. The amendment ought to be adopted. If it were, gold would rush out of the country, and find fresh fields and pastures n Revsor Jones: ‘I wish it would.” j:SENATOR SARGENT would, just. for curiosity, ike to know why them was Senator Jones's sentiments. Senator Jones said that coinage: was a very bad thing, especially if it was gold. Now silver was the thing in which he took an espe- cial price, Gold wa; yellow and jaundiced, and silver was nice and white—that's why he liked it. Senator Eaton asked why Senator Jones had changed his opinion during the last four years. Senator Jones didn’t think much of a man who couldn’t change his mind several times during that period. But Senator Edmunds did not carry his point. All the Senators now made themselves snug for making a night of it. J SENATOR KERNAN, a little after four, moved that silver dollars be coined to redeem one and two dollar greenbacks, and that the latter be used for lighting pipes. SeNaTOR Ferry jumped higher than a kite, and objected to the redeemed bills being used for such purposes, they must be re-issued. SENATOR JoNnEs got mad and threatened to put a head on hoary Senator Hoar. Senator INGALLS was of opinion that the Chair was a rotten piece of furniture, and ought to be sat on. SENATOR CONKLING said that Jones was wrong, and he, Conkling, was right. Kernan was cunning, but not smart enough for the 3 New York SENATOR. ENATOR BLAINE liked small notes better than silver. Just as the sun was thinking about tipping Arlington Heights with Gold, the Silver Bill was passed. Yeas 48. Nays 21. Hurrah for repudiation! THE WAR AND THE “HERALD.” q UCK has not been an unmoved spectator ‘y of the war that ‘has now so long been °o" raging between semi-barbarous Russia and almost wholly barbarous Turkey. He, in his wisdom, has refrained. from encouraging either belligerent, but has preferred watching the natural course of events. He has watched, and finds that the brave and degtaded Turk has been completely sat upon by the followers of the brutal Bear, and his powerful ally, the New York Herald. ‘This result was not by any means unexpected. Numbers, discipline, artillery and head-lines did the business. But lo! a change has come o'er the spirit of the dream. Russia, who has taken upon herself the responsibility of disturbing the peace of Europe and of occupying Constantinople, finds herself confronted by John Bull and a few of his toughest iron-clads. 4 F John, Bull can bounéé‘and Wully. His bark is often worse than his bite; but in this instance it willbe found his iron barks will be able to give a good account of themselves if the un- principled Tartar hordes,-in their war of agres- sion, dare tread on Great Britain's toes. The writer of the Hera/d\s articles on the war can whip the P, 1. man out of his boots in point of grim humor. . If he only knew anything about’ the subject he discusses, the fun could not be surpassed. But, unfortunately, he doesn’t. Of one thing, however, he ismorally certain, that the noblest, most self-sacrificing, virtuous and generous nation in existence jis this self- same Russia, and that the most contemptible nation the world ever saw is Great Britain. Poor England feels badly—very badly—at the opinion entertained of her by the Herald; and we don’t mind telling our readers, in the strictest confidence, that Queen Victoria is closeted daily with Beaconsfield and Jim Ben- nett, to induce the latter to alter the policy of his enterprising journal, and to ally himself with England against Russia, in the event of the Anglo-Austrian alliance falling through Whatever Russia does is right, consequently whatever England does must be wrong. We are sorry that its eminently correct views on this subject should not be shared in by en- lightened and intelligent Americans. It is a melancholy fact that they are not; and respectable citizens even go so far as to assert that anything in the shape of sympathy or ad- miration for these Russian Houynhyms, who are little better than .bandits, is like throwing pearls before swine. THE STAGE. PARK THEATRE. CHAMPAGNE AND OYSTERS. Tue Park Theatre has struck a jolly vein of amusement. It ought to stand by it. New York wants one theatre over which Mirth holds perennial sway; and the Park ‘Theatre fills the ill. “ Champagne and Oysters,” which is a clever translation, by Mr. J. W. Shannon, of the Ger- man comedy, ‘Der liebe Onkel,” was pro- duced last Wednesday, and won immediate favor. It is only a trifle, but is a very enjoya- ble one, and acted by one of the very best farce companies ever gathered together. “Cham- pagne and Oysters” has its scene laid in England, but Mr. Shannon, who is a better translator than adapter, has transplanted some foreign ideas into his English play. There is, for instance, no English Chief of Police to is- sue warrants, nor do people indulge in oyster suppers at the Argyle rooms, Bat folly rises superior to probability—and “Champagne and Oysters” becomes no less pal- atable to the average audience from its inconsis- tencies. ;The company includes Mr. James Lewis, whose easy flow of humor wins general response; Mr. W. J. Lemoyne, one of the best comédy and character actors on the American stage; Mr, W. H. Bailey, who has a fund of neon all his own; Miss, Minnie Palmer, as pretty and clever as need’ be; Miss Sydney Cowell, an excellent soubrette, and Miss Maud | Graiger, with muchtalént and beauty, Messrs. Robson and Crane, the, very popular come- dians, ‘will open on the 25th,-with “Our ' Bachelors.” DRAMATIC NOTES. ‘Tue ‘Good Demon” appeared at the Fifth Avenue Theatre on Monday, the bad demon inthe person of Sidonie-Palma’ hayiyg de- teitiocaind susnnd: ) AMYSs Ciara Mornis’s, performanteof Jane Eyre, at the Broadway, is dne of the wonder- ful evidences of her art thar’ has yet beelt given to the New York public: ItSeffect is’eléetrical. “Monty” with Wallack, Montague, Gilbert, Beckett, Crisp,Shahnon, Bi ham. Miss Coghlan, Mme. Ponisi in the cast, was played. on»Monday.- It ry the author of ‘Noto, bad-as“we seem” and “Richelieu,” a play. popular with amateurs. ‘THe rumor tat Henry Clay Dean is tocome East and go into partnership with Geo, Fr cis Train in the “Russian bath busingss* authoritatively denied. _H. C,, D's. entire tention is devoted to” extensive real’ esta operations in which he is going it alone. 3 ‘Tne Silver Bill has run. the gauntlet of Senate, but is,not, “The eS k is ready primed adh Toaded, and wl telp to [Keeps Pespectable a lite longer in the eyes the world. comicbooks.com