Puck — December 19, 1877 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. 13 a dream, and then he said with his usual manner: “You will give this little message ?” René couldn't speak; but she ceased to smooth the hand, and bowing her head, touch- ed it with her lips. “How warm the nature is of these Span- iards!” thought Hugh. The sound of approaching footsteps put Hugh upon his mettle; René also was roused to energy. A smile of satisfaction irradiated her lips and sparkled in her eager eyes It was by an effort that she controlled her exuberant spirits to that degree of composure necessary for her safety. She turned towards the advane- ing party, and her lips closed tightly over her teeth, whilst through her finely-cut nostrils her breath came full and regular. M. de Gaillefontaine’s second and a friend advanced, and behind them, at a dozen yards, followed a group, heading which strode M. de Gaillefontaine, with the swagger of Hector. “ Rather before their time,” murmured Hugh cheerily. “Not many minutes,” replied René. « Will you settle the preliminaries for me?” “Undoubtedly,” answered René quietly; and leaving Hugh’s side, she advanced with firm step to meet her antagonist’s second. De Gaillefontaine drew up, and his friends clustered around him. A dozen paces brought Rene face-to-face with the second, and after the formal salutation she said: “1 have no second. As I have said, this Englishman knows nothing of the duel, so I must settle the particulars for myself. Will you be so good as to tell me if M. de Gaille- fontaine wishes to fight until one is disabled or killed, or whether superior skill shall decide the combat ?” [To be continued.] Puck's Brihanges. SHAKSPERE IMPROVED, OR THE NEW SEVEN AGES OF MAN. All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players —some of them most con- foundedly poor players, too—they have their exits and their entrances, but a large propor- tion of them would rather have whisky as a steady thing. And one man in his time plays many parts—right field, centre field, catcher, short-stop, etc. At first, the infant, mewling and puking in its nurse's arms, and yelling fire; and then, the school-boy, with his dinner- bucket and whining morning face, creeping like a snail unwillingly to school, with a sheep skin under his jacket; and then, the lover, sighing like a furnace, with a woful ballad fearfully and wonderfully made to his mistress’ eye-brow, and his coat-tail pockets big with confectionery; then, a soldier, full of strange oaths and bugs, jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel, seeking the bubble reputation even in the canno..’s mouth at $13 a month and found; and then, the alderman, witha bay- window on his stomach, full of wise sawsage and other things to eat, who charges two dollars for marrying a man and kisses the bride without leave or license. ‘The sixth age shifts into the lean and slippered pantaloons, with or without ruffles, as the case may be; last scene of all that ends this strange eventful histery, is second childishness and mere oblivion, sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything except a won- drous faculty for lying about the hot summers and cold winters of his younger days.— Oil City Derrick. Tuere are four Miltons in the House—some inglorious but none mute.— Boston Post. How would it do for Mr. Hayes to pair off with Mr, ‘Tilden ?—Philadelphia Times, It is a wise child that knows its own father, and a wise cask of vinegar that knows its own mother.— Oil City Derrick. A New York paper has “An Article on Babies.” The best article on babies is—well; it is not found in newspapers.—Norristown Herald. Ajax defying the lightning must have been an impressive spectacle—-much more so than three jacks defying a full-hand. - Worcester Rewey. ‘Tue fact that a lecturer has taken for his sub- ject “Three Weeks on a Camel” shows how lecturers have to hump around for topics.— Worcester Press. Now does the frugal young bachelor spread his last year’s ulster on the floor and walk around the edges thereof, sewing on buttons. — Worcester Press. ANN SEARING was sent up for stealing an ul- ster overcoat in Wall Street. ‘This, however, cannot be the fine-Ann-Searing we have heard of in that locality.— Graphic. A younc man in Poughkeepsie threatened to blow out his brains, and ever since a consta- ble has been following him around with a search-warrant.— Rochester Democrat. “Two Years Behind the Plow” has just been published in Philadelphia, It is a har- rowing story.—W. Y. Com. Adv. Oh no—not as furrow’s we've read it.— Norristown Herald. ‘Tue land-owning citizen is now being inter- viewed by the small boy in reference to a con- tract for keeping the walk clear from snow during the coming season.— Worcester Press. You cannot depend even on a scissors. The St. Louis G/obe- Democrat speaks of Lisbon as a_‘‘great Mediteranean seaport.” — Boston Globe. ‘That's shear ignorance.—. Y. Com. Adv, “Is that the lion of the evening?” asked one Penn clubby, pointing over to where Mr. Story was discussing some raw oysters. ‘ Yes,"’ said the other, “don’t you see he’s indulging in a few roars ?”—Fhila, Bulletin, Wuen the red-nosed tramp goes up to the end of the bar and picks from the platter a piece of dry codfish, he little thinks that the English government charges him five and a half millions for the luxury.—Zurner’s Falls Reporter. Wen the manager of a church-fair announces that one of the deacons has drawn a pair of vases and another deacon who was asleep in the corner partially arouses himself and remarks, “They're good,” the circumstance is entirely without significance.—Sacrilegious Worcester Press. ‘Tue social season is on again, and the philo- poena lies in wait for the unwary young man. A wicked New York reporter tells of a man in that city who has eight daughters, all adepts in the business, to whom he presented a barrel of almonds for this nefarious purpose, and now his home glows like a fancy:goods store with plated ware, fancy soaps, albums, gloves, French candies, and other temporal blessings.—Un- identified Ex. Minister Cosy writes from Honolulu that wood costs $19 and $20 accord, “and you have to split it yourself at that.” Mr. Comly ought to stand on his diplomatic dignity and let his wife do it.—Syracuse Herald, Emma Bartey and Emma Colby are billed to run a foot-race in Virginia City on Christ- mas day. “ This will be, we suppose,” remarks the St. Louis Journaé, “what the printers call a two-em dash,” And the two Ems are what printers would call a “ bold face type” of girls. —WNorristown Herald. A FIVE-YEAR-OLD tot, who had always closed her prayers at night with “And God help Katy to be a good girl,” opened her eyes on that point one night in green-apple time, and said, very decidedly, “ I ain't a going tosay the rest, for I don’t want to be a dood girl; I want to eat green apples and swallow em.” — Stray Squib. AN honest man may be about as hard to find as a plumber with a mortgage on his house. We won't quibble about it. But when you do stumble upon him he has his trade-mark upon his face, and, whether in home spun or store clothes, might walk through the town with an umbrella under each arm without fear of unjust suspicion.— Cin. Breakfast Zable, A ReaDER in the country writes us as follows: “A mule in our village yesterday afternoon in- advertently kicked a can of nitroglycerine. A barn one hundred yards distant was badly wrecked, and the mule seemed somewhat sur- prised, whirling around two or three times be- fore resuming work at nibbling grass.” We don't believe it—that is we do believe the kick- ing and wrecked barn part, but we don’t be- lieve that the mule was surprised. It is a libel on the mule.—Norristown Herald, Some of those side-splitting witticisms in Congress, which provoke “laughter,” and “continued laughter,” and ‘renewed laugh: ter,” would create a funereal gloom if printed in the humorous column of a daily newspaper. Ifa Congress.aan were to get up and read a few pages from a counterfeit detector, the effort, no doubt, would be profusely punctuated by “laughter” from the members.—Norristown Herald. A jolly son of the ocean was about being put on board an outward-bound ship, for which he had previously entered, when he asked leave to have another run “ up town.” Being informed that he could not be permitted to go, as the ship was about to sail, he sang out to a man on the wharf, an entire stranger to him: ‘ Here, my friend,” throwing him a five-shilling piece, “spend that for me—I'll do as much for you another time."— Unknown Student of Human Nature. Lumps of wisdom from the Catskill Recorder: —Tue United States grows a bushel of corn for every human being upon the globe; but just let a human being reach out for his bushel without coming down with the market price if you would see the carnage-mill in the justice of the peace’s shop start up. There is too much formality here for a strictly free people.— ‘There's a despairful wail for cheaper Christmas- presents—something that will stand as an ex- ponent of the heart’s fondest throbbing, and yet not call for a chattel-mortgage on a fellow’s summer-clothing to achieve it.—The domestic world cries out for a new order of servant-girls or a new brand of cats, as one or the other is destroying the usefulness of all the crockery and glass-ware.— Diamonds were never cheaper, and servant-girls who don't want to appear vul- gar would do well to turn them over to the il bred poor.—A girl-baby with three arms has been born in Michigan, which looks as if hold- ing hair-pins in the mouth was going out of fashion. comicbooks.com