Puck — August 29, 1877 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

REPUBLICAN PARTY. Womb an her of Cursra—Her ” Future Predicted. Neat style of head-lining adopted by the In- dianapolis Sentinel. Avcust 23d there will be an eclipse of the moon, lasting about half the night. ‘The moon will he nearly invisible, as also will the young couple who sit on the front steps to watch the alfair.- ome Sentinel. A WESTERN paper tried to. “ But Beecher has a large salary and has not been troubled about any reduction.” And don’t you think, that fiendish printer changed the first letter of the last word.— Graphic. Maxktaces are not so plenty as usual. young ladies ought to gt up a strike for their altars. ‘The strike for the fires can come in afterward, when the ques ion of Iuilding them comes up.— Union City Time “ Howakp and the Indians. We should say that politeness, mingled with a due consid. eration of the question of relative importance, would dictate that it be written, “The Indians and Howat Worcester Less. Recentiy, while the President was at the , Washington schuetzenfest, a factotum, wishing to do the handsome thing, said, Mr. Bresi- dent, Lvas glat you komd. Ve yoost vos keepin some water on ice for you, ch!" — WV. ¥. Herald. A Paik Lapy sends uy one of the largest and most delicious peaches we have ever was grown in the once great State of and measures over ten inches in circumference, —Unreconstructed Southern Agricultural Editor, One by one the writers of paragraphs are being drawn into matrimony, and, doubtless for prudential reasons, the reat’ American mother-in-law is permitted to. occupy a less prominent position before the reading public. — Worcester Press. Wuex Anna Dickinson read that a Canada man had carried away a giel and forced her to marry him, she said: “I'd like to see a man make me marry him." We believe she would. Perhaps that's what's she pining for.— Philadel: phia Evening Chronice. Ixce:xvrtv is rapidly creeping over the South, An artificial frogs'-leg factory has been started in Memphis. Mutton is the base. ‘Thus is the once prostrate land of the Magnolia arising like a giant to take her plaee among the indus- | trial leaders of the earth.—- Graphic, ‘Tne only religious daily paper in the country has just suspended publication. People don't seem to care to have religion served up to 'em | more than once a week, unless it come in the form of a church raffle, a sacred concert, or | As trembling it lay, ‘twas embraced by acramp, | something of that sort.—Aoston Post. ‘Tie King of Sweden has sent to America | for a cabinet organ; but it is understood that | strong efforts will be made to persuade him to take an accordeon instead. No opportunity to get one of those abominations out of the coun. | try should be missed. Worcester Fress. “ Wuat's the use of all this sacrifice of hu- man life, this bloody butchery of Turks and.) Russians?” said a Philadelphia Quaker to a Cincinnati hog-merchant. ‘I don’t know,” replied the latter mournfully; “pork isn’t riz any that‘T can see."— Andrew's Bazar, ' Aw Indian, clad in a plug hat and a pair of | green spectacles, likewise a pair of pants and a shirt, peeped into the Xeveil/e office yester- day. “ What you name, Jim ?” asked our devi “Me name Plofessor,” replied the red man. “ Pro- what?” inquired the imp. ‘ White man | up Stillawater call ‘em me Plofessor Hungly- , gluts,” was the answer. Austin Reveille, PUCK. ‘THE statement that the coal fields of the world will be exhausted in two thousand years brings no permanent solace to the man who has to carry the present daily supply for the family up three pairs of stairs.— Bridgeport Standar ‘Tne Baltimore Sua says that the deer on South Mountain have been attacked with an epidemic, and that their bodies are found “drawn up, cramped, and almost bent double.” Looks like a clear case of much watermelon, doesn’t it?—. ¥. Commercial Advertiser. We haven't a word to say against Stanley Matthews, but we want to get his name in our paper in some way, so we use it here. A paper that hasn’t anything whatever to say about | Stanley, Matthews, now-a-days, is looked upon with suspicion. — Cincinnati Saturday Night. “lis is the season when the disciple of Isaak Walton dresseth like a brigand, depleteth the plumage of his neighbor's rooster to make flies, goeth tthe mountains for a week, and returneth to tell how many he would have caught had the stream not been muddy.— Richmond Enquirer, Iv is announced and reiterated that Senator Conkling’s return from Europe has no “ politi- cal significance." We believe this is truc, We understand that he came back ‘to get a clean handkerchief, which he had carelessly forgot- ten when he went away.— Burlington Hawk ‘Tue reportorial idea of respectability is illus- trated in an item in yesterday's paper: ‘The deceased had never been indicted for crime, was a member of a variety of lodges, and be: longed to a highly respectable family. It was his brother who had been indicted."— Chicago Tribune. Says a pathetic writer, “Let us gaze down the dim vista of bygone years." No, young man, don’t do it. You may sce an unpaid washerwoman, with bare arms, hiding behind a tree and praying for dire vengeans head. Don't gaze down the vista.-- Khine Gazelle, HeSE drowsy August days,” says a writer, “are sacred to the god of love, who delights to take advantage of human defensclessnessagainst his arts at this sunny season. Between the god of love and the destructive watermelon, human defenselessness presents a pitiable sight these drowsy August days.—- Worcester Press. THE BIRTH OF THE CUCUMBER : ‘A seraph was sick with the colic one day, And, weeping, leaned over the moon ; ‘The tears, as they fell, floated lightly away On the gossamer pinions of June. But one,:as it drifted along in the damp, Sunk wearily down to the earth ; And the cucumber blushed into birth. —Hartford Limes. PATEN ! A corresponpenr of the Budletin endcar- ingly asks its editor, “ How can the boys be kept off the streets at night?” Simple enough. Let every parent pave his back yard with tes- selated marble, light it with gas, put a_billiard table in it, with a bar and cigar stand in one corner, and the thing is done.— Lureka Senti- ' nel. Io, the poor Indian, whose untutored mind sees God in the clouds and hears him in the wind, is in the huckleberry business in this sec- tion, His soul proud science never taught to | stray beyond the solar walk or milky way, but he can pick greener berries and ask a bigger | price for them than any other living man. | Olt City Derrick. Aw exchange says that bats introduce bed- | bugs in dwellings. We never were in a dwell- ing where the bats did anything of the kind. | All the bed-bugs we have met have seemed per- fectly well acquainted and familiar with us without waiting for a bat or anybody else to in- troduce them.—/i/ton Times, i Svinkins interviewed a butcher down in Washington Market the other day, in regard to the strike. ‘I'm glad to see,” he said, “ that your Butchers’ Association has taken no part in this business.” “Of course not,” said the butcher. “ Of course we wouldn't. We couldn't have gone into it, if we would.” Why not?”” asked Spilkins, ‘ Because we've too much at steak, and it wouldn’t have been meat for us to have taken any joint action,” replied he of the knife and apron, whereupon Spilkins imme- diately ordered a quarter of a pound of sirloin, and went thoughtfully homeward. —Aew York Commercial. Avy old gentleman, who has faith in the power | of the press, says if all the newspapers would go to work and make believe the times are good, they would soon get good. Well, we commence the good work by announcing that the rolling mills and furnaces all over the coun j try are running day and night, and can't sup- ply the demand for iron; laborers’ wages are | going up to three dollarsa day; the coal miners j have resumed work at the highest rates paid during the war; last week our manufacturing firms received foreign orders for millions of dollars’ worth of goods; taxesare being reduced; a good piano can be bought for $100, and } watermelons are down to five cents apiece. If j times don’t get better now, it is not our fault, | anyhow.—Norristown Herald, Put away those little dresses ‘That our darling used to wear. She will need them on earth never, She has climbed the golden stair. Lay aside her little playthings, Wet with mother’s pearly tears; We shall miss our little Mary Ann All the coming weary years. —G.W.C, A. ‘ COVERS FOR FILING PUCK. PRICE $1.00 EACH. FOR SALE AT “PUCK” OFFICE, 13 North William Street, New York. BACK NUMBERS OF PUCK CAN BE SUPPLIED ON DEMAND. ApprEss, Willmer & Rogers News Co., 3! Beekman Street, New York. Publishers “Puck”? 43 North Willian Street, New York. comicbooks.com