Puck — July 4, 1877 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

nt, Mr. ially to dis site nts vill . And | outhful yhether d crop to be > duty ace on aelites olesale | down Grand dear, || grad- white | | ‘fable | | beau- mn the ps the le sis- | ds un- ¢ and ; old. sedu- || an in hould vhich eling || siatic | | umns Home ount | | ently} LFS SK. er = 1 PUCK. LOVE'S DEFIANCE. ih HEARD that all her locks so lusrous golden, J Which I had praised in song, Were but a stock of purchased tresses olden ‘That had done service long; And yet I heeded not her rivals’ railing, . But Joved her still with fervency unfailing. “They told me that those eyes that I, inspired, Had called a liquid blue, Were but a dull, dark brown, nor were they fired With ardor strong and trie: T only smiled, and stern defiance bade them, And said, “« Her eyes! Ah, don't you wish you had ‘The grace, that oft my fond imagination Had clothed with power supreme, ‘Was artifice, they said, and affectation, And all a lover’s dream: ‘And yet my banner fearlessly I planted, Refusing flatly to be disenchanted. Mer age! That, too, was wrong. Ah, there was plenty Of bitter truth for me, For she whom I had thought no more than twenty Was over thirty-three. Nor age, nor locks, nor looks, though, did I care for— I loved her truly still—You ask me wherefore? Ab, there’s a grace of soul that gives a pleasure No outward charms can lend, And in her eye, if blue or brown, more treasure I see than words defend: So, till ye prove her mind is arti ‘The maid I sing of shall bear her Svp: ial, tial. Y ROSENFELD. THE GLORIOUS FOURTH. LEAF FROM A PHYSICIAN'S DIARY. New York, Wednesday, 4th July. 4 A.M. Got up—examined saws, splints, knives, tourniquets, ligature silk. Eased stopper of extra bottle of carbolic acid. Polished up probes. Don’t think the sweet-oil for burns, quite as good as last. Have I enough flour and violet powder? Guess so. Where the deuce is the chloroform? Ah! there’s enough lint and bandages, and I mustn’t run short of cotton. Hope I shall have a good day. But why didn’t that scoundrel of a Deadhead send in extra coffins, small sizes? I'll never deal with him again. I'll operate on or repair any- body’s small boy—be he Jew or Christian. Where's the arnica? That's all right—business ought to begin soon—if very busy, shall send for young Quizass to help me. 5 A.M. Looked up “finger and hand ampu- tation” in Surgeons’ Vade Mecum—must keep posted—what delightful reading. 6 a.M. What music to mine ears—firing has already commenced—but must have patience: Consulted latest authorities on burns, gunshot and splinter wounds. 6.30a.M. Breakfast ready —very nice—drank || my own health, and wished myself luck in bottle of Chiteau Yquem. 7.4.M. Loud explosions on all sides, Ah! that sounded like the bursting of a small cannon. Ring at bell—hurrah! Small boy with trifling in- juries—a premature explosion—orily one finger blown off, and eyes injured. Amputated two fingers and put in glass eye. Young rascal, of course, will never be able to see out of that eye any more. Said he didn’t care a cent for that, but he, guessed he'd have his fun on the 4th, His father gave me $25 for job. Not a bad beginning. 8 a.m. I’ve been very busy for the last hour ‘going like hot-cakes. Shall be obliged to send operated on, and bandaged three for burns. hance of lockjaw in. one—interesting case— unexpected discharge of pistol the cause—but baelan bad too—piece of it had blown awa; right thumb, Cash for fees, so far, $140. Thi I shall have to send for Quizass. What a glorious 4th! A.M, First dead boy. Couldn’t have fitted coffin better had it been made for him, Small cannon had burst, two or three of the nice large pieces had lodged in his abdomen. Dead- head must sell caskets cheaper—my profits are not large enough. Offered afflicted father a glass of Chateau Yquem—all that was left in the bottle. 11 a.M._ Am nearly dead with work. Coffins for Quizass. 3PM. $250 already. A very pretty case— burns on a nice-looking baby—frolicsome boy put a bundle of lighted fire-crackers in little one’s coat—just for a joke. It may not be able to hear again—but will come out all right—with only cheeks disfigured, loss of hair and portion of scalp. P.M. Quizass helping me. Have just taken bullet out of policeman’s leg, and set a fireman’s arm—latter fell off ladder at a fire caused by chasers. g P.M. Can only now attend to select pa- tients—must send others to Bellevue. 9.30 Pt. Firing grows louder and louder. Have just amputated a leg. Stupid individual run over by wagon—horse took fright at a roman candle. ‘otal receipts for day’s work, $487. Think I shall let up. Gave Quizass $10. 1o P.M. The house is in flames—a badly- fired rocket came in through second-story win- dow and ignited mosquito-bars. Building can’t be saved. As I’ve only a hall-bedroom and an office, it don’t matter to me. Gathered up instruments and trunk, and took them with me in carriage to Windsor Hotel—where I shall stay for next few days. Loss of things rather awkward for other inmates of house—but I really can’t complain. Good night! Hurrah for the glorious 4th! ‘ PUCK’S PERSONAL INTELLIGENCE. ERALD. BY OUR OW! Dr..Mary WALKER does not shave. Ctaupe Metnotre did not wear striped stockings. ‘THe Emperor William does not drink Mil- waukee beer. Don Cesar DE Bazan never went to a tem- perance meeting. Mr. B. O'Loney is the inventor of the sau- sagé that bears his name. Horse-cars and blue-flannel coats are both worn bobtailed this Summer. We wonder whether cats are ever troubled with purrspiration in Summer. Mr. Aaron Moses, of Chatham Street, will not Summer at the Grand Union. + Count Joannes is writing a play called “The Legion of Honor, or the Hero of Hoboken.” Brace up and take another claret-punch. The Fourth of July doesn’t fall on the fifth this ear. a te happiest man in the world is the Roman,, Candil. He goes off in a blaze of glory every five minutes. Wuat was Byron's lady-love made of ? Maid of Athens, of course. This joke is all Greek to most of our readers. Cuas. Francis Apams will twine gracefully, like the bean of his native town, around a pole. He will make it the North Pole. - BisHop Coxe goes in for war, but when he FITZNOODLE .IN NEW YORK. Xv. THE FOURTH OF JU- LY AND ICE-WATER. Ya-as, it’s weally getting verwy, verwy warm— —quite overpower- wing in fact, and ies Carnegie and have alweady ar- wanged to take sev- erwal twips to dif- ferwent parts of the countwy where there are waterwing-places. Fellaw ssay—I mean Amerwicans—that some of the pwoper wesorts for us to go to are called Long Bwanch, Sarwa- toga, Wichfield Spwings, Newport and a var- wiety of other names which it’s too much twouble to wy to wemember. But it’s not consid- ered the corwect thing to commence one’s twa- vels just yet—though I am wesolved to get away before the Fourth of July, which, I believe, is a horwibly wetched day; for a fellaw is pwe- vented fwom sleeping because a gweat many small boys let off fire-cwacke1s and catherwine- wheels, and woman-candles, and back-wappers, and wockets, and other atwocious things of the sort. This, the fellaws say, is the custom of the countwy on the fourth of July, which is called Independent Day, because, two or thrwee hundwed years ago, some of the pwogenitors of these people got independently wich, and a large majorwity had nothing to depend on. I have an ideah that it has something to do,with Bwitish wule, and a wiot and a wevolution, or some kind of declarwation of something or other; but I don’t pwetend to be like those witers who give themselves a widiculous amount of twouble about nothing, to tell you what fel- laws did severwal centurwies ago. These affairs do not interwest me in the smallest degwee. A fellaw has quite enough to baw him without weading historwy. I have wemarked that the weather is verwy hot; but in Amerwica I notice that a fellaw can always keep his mouth and thwoat cool by dwinking water with ice in it— wather a desirwable pwactice, I think, for twop- ical climates—but Jack says that even in wintwy months, when the chwonometer, or barwometer, or hydwometer, is below zewo, Amerwicans still put ice in the water—a doosid queer and eccen- twic ideah. But, then, what can be expected fwom a wepublic ? Pore says, ‘“‘a little learning is a dangerous thing.” That’s how an English schoolmistress came to be cut off in her prime, at the age of ror, Tue proprietor of ‘La Tourette House,” Bergen Point, advertises: ‘Christians only entertained.” We beg pardon; both Christians and Jews are highly entertained by the intensel; liberal spirit of the announcement; but there'll be time enough at the end of the season tolearn of what religion the guests really were. ALTHOUGH it was a good race, Columbia didn’t win, because it didn't pull Harv ’ard enough—our Cockney contributor thinks. Use mucilage sparingly in frying bread- crumbs; especially if the oysters are of the va- nilla species. From a sleep on a rasher of bacon hears a mosquito a mile off he runs away and cries, ‘To arms, to arms,” in a refrigerator, —but nothing particularly serious. | Four boys all by himself. In Cologne did a 'tater-bug waken; “Qh, what a mad antic “i ‘To cross the Atlantic And leave my poor kindred forsaken,” _ comicbooks.com