Puck — May 1877 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. “PUCK", No. 13 North William Street, New York FOR SALE BY Al Terms To Suascrisers. One Copy one year, or $2 numbers... One Copy, six months, or 26 numbers One Cepy for thirteen weeks..... ostace Fane Notice to A Literary and artistic contributions are solicited. Address all manu- scripts and sketches to Editor * Puck”, 13 North Witham Se, New York. CARTOONS. ‘THE HOLY WAR. “© Liberty; what crimes are committed in thy name!” said Madame Roland; and the same sentiment is applicable to the belligerents in the struggle now raging in Eastern Europe and Western Asia. Divested of all diplomatic verbiage, the war is purely and simply one of aggression on the part of Russia to obtain a slice of Turkish territory, None but the ignorant | and foolish believe that Russia fights for the protection of the Christians, for it is solemn mockery for so brutish a nation to speak of warring in the name of religion and mankind. If the Russians be brutal, the ‘lurks are bar- barous, and entitled even to less respect. ‘Their punica fides is notorious, and Europe would not suffer if their abominably corrupt attempt at government were wiped out. To fight for Allah. and Humanity, forsooth! rather for Devil and Cruelty. But taking it all round, it is but a case of pot calling kettle black. PUCK’S ‘THE DISTRESSED REPUBLIC. La Bette France in her republican habili- ments, has been of late singularly free from dis- turbance of any kind. The volatile character of her people made it unlikely that the political sea could remain for any length of time unruffled, and behold it is now in as favorablea condition for doing mischief as the most implacable enemy of the nation could desire. Jules Simon, the Liberal, is no longer in power, for President MacMahon has dismissed him and called to his councils the reactionary Duc de Broglie, who, it is presumed, will attempt to undo all that the conservative Liberals have carried out at so much cost. Unhappy France! it seems fated that the discordant elements within her are never to permit the enjoyment of peace and happiness by her people. ‘The Ultramontane plotters, the Red Republicans,the Communists, the Bonapart- ists, the Legitimists, MacMahon, Thiers and Gambetta are all pulling and working against each other to carry out their respective political designs. On the recent Brooklyn Sunday School an- niversary, when the forty-odd thousand children saw Mr. Beecher, they shouted, “hi yi!" Evi- dently, they must have taken him for a Buddhist brother priest of Wong Chung Foo. No man fully realizes the calorific properties of a gas-jet until he tries to light his cigar without a match, and wonders why his nose won't draw. Wuen the Emperor of Austria's lawsuit in New Jersey is settled, he’d better send over to New York and commence a libel suit against the Evening Telegram. Twice within the last ten days it has said that Count Andrassy, the Austrian cabinet minister, resembles a brigand. PUCK’S ESSENTIAL OIL OF ALBANY. Puck dismis- ses his alban: Legislature wit! mingled feeling of pleasure and disgust. The longest Session on re- cord has been roductive of an infinite amount of—nothing. Unstatesman- like — measures have been pass- ed only to meet or. Still it is a comfort, to think, that the State has got rid of the wind-bag patriots for a time, and that the newspapers will not be disfigured with reports of their ridiculous and corrupt proceedings. | ‘The style of men that a suffering people allow themselves to be persuaded by unprincipled politicians and hucksters to send to Albany to tinker with the laws, would be a strong argu- ment in favor of a State Dictator. ASSEMBLY, MAY 23d. Mr. Atvorp didn’t want a bill to pass for the improvement of the Hudson River, for a New Jersey steamboat company—which had pro- perty to the amount of $2,000,000, and had never paid a cent of taxation, either—did; and a continuance of the existing state of things would suit them admirably. So Messrs. Fisu, Hayes and Braman seemed to think, and the bill passed. SENATE, MAY 23d. Mr. Bixsy felt troubled about the amount of compensation for the frightfully hard work Senators had to do. Mr. Gerarb thought he gave a good $1,500 worth of services, and they were dirt-cheap at the price. Mr. ScHOoNMAKER said that the sum named wouldn’t keep him in boutblacking, cigars, Santa Cruz sours and diamond pins. Mr. Loomis thought the motion ought to lie on the table. (Adopted.) On the subject of the sale of certain lateral canals, Mr. Sayre moved that the supply of water for the Insane Asylum at Utica should be main- tained by the canal authorities. No one knew how soon they all might have to live there, and there must be plenty of water—even if the sup- ply of whiskey ran short. On the Bank-taxation bill question, Mr. Wooptn thought that the banks had all the money they wanted, and unless they handed some of it over to Senators they mustn't expect any special legislation. More lying on the table. Prince was the man this time who distinguished himself by suggesting such a proceeding with regard to this measure. MAY 24th. ‘The Legislature, happily for everybody, ad- journed to-day. SENATE. Mr. Woonin said the Senate had done its duty in the matter of the Apportionment bill, and if other people hadn’t done theirs the fail- ure wasn't his. Mr. Jacoss contended that the Assembly didn’t amount to anything anyhow, and every- thing wrong was its fault. ASSEMBLY. SPEAKER SLOAN dismissed the collective wis- dom of his House, telling them with a touch of sarcasm that now the members would have time to look after their own affairs. (As if they had been doing anything else but that, the whole time.) They were economical, hard-working patriotic saints, and they stood ‘as a wall | barber; everything will | can prevent the gun powder running out of the of granite against unseemly and improper in- fluences.” In fact they were all too lovely for anything, and this wicked world was no place for them. Puck endorses most emphatically the Speaker's last remark, and the public will not weep when the hint is taken and put into execution. TELEPHONOGRAMS. LATEST FROM THE SEAT OF WAR. FROM PUCK’S SPECIAL ARTIST-CORRESPONDENT. Northwilliamstreetlarkof, Russian Camp. (Private.) All correspondents, except me, have been ordered to clear out; this will make my news doubly interesting and exclusive. What you think isn’t true, just alter to please yourself. ‘The Czar has this moment finished reading the last copy of Puck. The war news astonishes him—he wonders how and where we got it. He assured me, confidentially, he’d never read anything like it before. The Coney Island Herald's double-leaded dispatch from Asiatic Tartary says that it is currently reported among the hawt ton of Wolloomooloo that Chu Long Korn has proved an alibi and his washerwoman is fifteen cents out on this week’s bill. ‘The dispute arose out of a paper collar. Europe awaits the result with anxiety, for it is obvious if Julius Caesar ad- mits that she very impcudently married the e aliunde, and nothing heels of their boots. ‘The Cape Horn Blatherskite’s special dispatch from the Moon says that the Turkish garrison at Tipperary have got hold of Shouvaloff where the hair is short, and that he will immediately be appointed head of the Street-Cleaning Bureau of Nebraska. A very interesting poker party took place last night at Izakirbabadakarakilisa. The Czar, the Sultan, Ex-President Grant, Henry Ward Beecher, and O'Leary, the walkist, all took a hand. ‘he jocularity was exhilarating in the extreme, and it was touching to see so much brotherly love and good feeling among such opposing elements. [This must be true, because the Herald correspondent told me so himself while we were taking a drink together atthe Rum 7riéune shop. I mean the Seat of War.] England, at the suggestion of George Francis ‘Train, has recalled all her Central African Mis- sionaries. That there may be no interference with the Black See, the negroes eyes must not be opened to Christian truth for the present. comicbooks.com