Puck — April 1877 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1 ears PUCK. suddenly asked, in a voice of tremulous emo- tion: “Peggy! is that you?” “Surely, Jacob! Doesn't thee sée I’ve got on my black alpaker and Sunday cap?" Again the saddened farmer gazed alternately on ne canvas and the face of his eagerly ex- pectant old lady; then solemnly pleaded, as a tear trembled out of the corner of his eye and ran down off the end of his nose: “But, tell me, Peggy,—is it like thee?” “Certain, sure, Jacob. Can't thee see how perfect he has painted the little wart on the side of my nose, and the spectacles are just as natural as can be. Yes! Every one of the neighbors says it’s me all over.” “Tt is?’ the stricken farmer cried, springing to his feet with a bound of desperate energy. “Then I'll be dod-rotted into everlasting smash if I don’t have a divorce in less ’n a month!” A moment later, as he took a last look at the fearful picture, he indulged in a wild upraising of his hands, as he ened: “Great Centennial Cesar! Is it possible I've lived more’n forty years with a woman who looks like that!"" Puck’ $ Me Gaes, Rosert Cottyer thinks people better marry young.—Graphic. ‘That is what Brigham of Utah thinks, too. And a great many people of that Territory—especially women—do marry Young.—Norristown Herald. YESTERDAY morning a stranger entered a store on Woodward avenue and asked for a gift of ten cents, stating that he was a Quaker, and without money or friends. He didn’t look exactly like a broadbrim, nor did he talk like one, but the money was given him and a watch set‘on’ his further progress. ‘He went ctly. to’a saloon, and was in the act of drinking a glass of whiskey when the man'who had given him the money entéred and said: “That's what you wanted money for, ch?” “Yes, sir,” was the calm reply. “1 thought you said you were a Quaker?” “So Iam." ‘*But Quakers never drink,” protested the other. “Well, what I meant was that I was a Quaker who did drink.” “Don't you ever come into our store again, ‘*No, I shall not,” slowly responded .the man. “You have done nobly; and if you will write down the name and number I'll see that I keep out. I’m that kind of a Quaker who doesn’t believe in letting any one firm pay all my bills. I'd ask you to drink if I had any of your money left!"—Detroit Free Press. Wuen the head of the family comes home at a shockingly late hour, deposits his weary self on the top of the piano, and, while gently tick- ling the keys with his major toe, murmurs ome- thing about the annoyance of a squeaking bed, it is entirely safe to. draw. conclusions,—£x- change. A CONTEMPORARY exclaims: ‘The South is not for sale!” Sorry to hear it. We thought of purchasing several Southern States and bring- ing them North, for the purpose of converting them into. Republican districts. But _there’s many a slip, etc.—Vorristown Herald. Srmmway & Sons have been decreed QF HONOR and TWO DIPLOMAS OF MERIT, cise eiitel carne iors by ae fall exhibit of GRaxD, SQuake, Axo Urricnt Pianos, vir: Stnwars DOUBLE VICTORY! the seaone resoeupese, vet THO MEDALS ine ‘upon an daplay at the Centennial Exhibition. To Messrs en alzarded, by the tharfowus verdict ofthe Jdges “TUx MICHEST DECMES OF EX- owing official report on the STEITWAY ‘Tue body of a fine- appearing young man, with an intellectual cast of countenance, was found in the alley in the rear of the Hawk- ge building yesterday morning. He was a stranger, and there were no papers on his person to identify him. The only clue to the ter- rible mystery is the fact that, pinned to his heart by a long knife that passed clear through ‘Sramway only A weary, discouraged. paragraphist aay, the other. day, that- Mark Twain was assessed at $66,000 worth of property, turned_to his table with renewed hope that tis reward would come, and penned a couple of jokes that were stolen by thirty-two exchanges, without a hint of credit, in less than a week. Somehow, it didn’t seem to encourage him much either.— Rridgeport Standard. Yesrerpay a gentleman, residing in a.neaty modest cottage in the suburbs, caught a tramp (prowling about his back-yard, evidently trying ‘to steal something. “Why don’t you come to the front door if you want anything?” indignantly roared the proprietor. “That's what I was looking for,” was the im- pudent reply. “Didn't you see it on the other side of the house?” retorted the gentleman. ‘How was I to know that was the front door? Nosilver door-plate, no bell, no telephone, no statuary, no servant to take your hat and cane. ‘Tell your boss there is a gentleman out here, who is waiting for his breakfast.” When the gentleman got back with his shot- gun, the tramp was not there any more.—San Antonio Herald, A Fasition exchange says: “ Ladies will carry larger pocket-books this season.” Glad to hear it; hope their husbands will be able to do the same.— Philadelphia Bulletin, GERMANIA FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY. | — Betadtiabed 1859, — Principal Office: 175 Broadway. BRANCH OFFICES: | 957 Bowery, Now York, DE MALIGNON, Busines Manager. 5 Willoughby St., promt, G. ScuibeR, Business Manager. #30 Washington Ss Hoboken, Eow. H. Srxormes, Busines Manager. *| Capital $500,000.-Surplus $1,196,110.20 | Total Assets, July 1, $1,696,110.20. far Orer $4,000,000.00 have already been paid to pasties taining loses from fire L. SOMBORN & C0., No. 12 Vesey St., adjoining the Astor House, New York, IMPORTERS OF FOREIGN WINES, BRANDIES, &o. = “For greatest concert capacity in Grand icwos: as also highest degree of excellence in all their styles of pianos, viz: Largest volume, purity and duration of tone, and extraordinary carrying capacity, with precision and durability of mech- anism; also novel disposition of the strings, and construction and bracing of the metal ian {ier this the report minutely describes and indonses the six principal and most valuable Fy Eola pitherroeeg rf eeled npr ater THE STANDARD PIANOS OF THE WORLD. s & Sons, being the only piano-makers who, manufactur ion” of the inne incloding all the metal pa al parts were ponerad vith an additonal Medal and Die “These articles of composite metal show the highest perfection of finish and workmanship and the greatest firmness and uniformity of metal structure, a steel-like and sounding quality, with a tensile strength exceeding 5,000 Ibs. per Square centimeter, as demonstrated by actual tests. The full metal frames of ‘Cupola shape, possess an unequaled degree of resistance, permitting a vastly In- creased tension of strings without tho slighest danger of break or crack in said metal frames, thereby considerably Increasing the vibratory power, and augment- Jes Re laste mealies Ol ek netrementt RST COLD MEDAL CF HONOR, ABT 8. HIRST PRIZE MEDA ION, 1860. EVERY PIANO WARRANTED 1 = LAN AREAS IeD LOR TIVE EASE STEINWAY & SONS’ WAREROOMS, STEINWAY HAL Nos. 109 and 111 East Fourteenth Siech, "NEW YORK. the corpse, was found a manuscript original joke on Lent. Suspicion at- taches to the night edi- tor. The coroner's jury returned a verdict of justifiable homicide. — Burlington Hawkeye. Scrence may reach still further out and light up the pathway of ig- norance as bright as day, but it will never con- trive a way of holding a pillow while it is be- ing cased equal to the method. employed by the servant-girl of to- day, who grasps the feather-stuffed tick with her teeth, and les it into its eran Fulton Times, HOCK & MOSELLE WINES froa k Corner 4zh Street. Apollinis Natural Mineral Water. sivorx, Frankfurt a. M. AAGLITTRR heinbers. BOONEKAMP OF from H, Uxpensenc-Atex REMOVAL. THE Cart INTERNATIONAL HAS REMOVED FROM 294 BowERY TO No. 699 BROADWAY, 8. LIEDER S, PERFECTION, BOKER’S BITTERS. ‘L. FUNKE, Jr. Sole Agent, No. 78 Jonn Srnuxt, N.Y. _ P.O. Box 1029.