The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 116: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘SHE MYSTERIES. 106 e * Deuce take such love," growled Mr. Paxwax ; “it hes cost me ‘no small measure of pain—be- sides the unpleasantness of appearing before the Reverend Joel Brugg with an eye bunged up.” — ** You abal-bathe itin the impid waters-at.the next.spring we come to, Jchabod,” said Mr. Sneaksby, now adopting a conciliatory tone—for in uth be was heartily ashamed of his intem- perance. . “ZT would rather have a drop of strong water at the next. publio-house,” quoth Mr. Paxwax. , ‘‘ Phat likewise ahalt thou have, Iehabod,” re- joined the reverend gentleman. Soothed by, this promise, Mr. Paxwax once more assisted his loving friend to a leg up; and thi time the leader of the Now Lights was aafely hoisted into his eaddie. Ichabod then remounted hisass; but when the horse was put in motion, the donkey ‘positively and sternly refused to budge an inch. Theresteod thestubborn animal jast like a atatue—gazing upon vacancy-—and apperenUly nailed to.the ground. Vainly did Mr. Paxwax coax with sundry pattinga on the neok-—fruitlessly did he.try the usual talismanic influence af “Gee up!” Net an inch would the east move; but there he stood planted in tke middle of the road, with the influential member of the New Lights upon his back looking quite as much like an ass as himeelf. | In fact, the appearance of the-man and his donkey was almost as ridiculous as that of the equestrian statue of the Duke of Wellington percbed on the arch at the comer of the Green .Park; and therefore the reader may judge how very stolid indeed Mr. Ichabod Paxwax and his stubborn ass must have looked. Fortanately for the hero of this dilemma a stage coach. happened to passat the time; and the coachman, instantaneously comprehending the position of affairs, bestowed such a out with his whip upon the donkey thet sli his obstinacy evaporated in a moment—and kicking up bis heels to the groat discomfiture of Ichabod's equili- briam and the great aggravation of his physical sufferings, the beast started off intoa sharp canter. The whistling sound of the whip through the air was not lost upon the Rev. Mr. Sneakaby’s Rozinante, which actually and positively broke into a gallop that must have even astonislied it- self and would have certainly struck its owner with surprise had he been present—secing that the animal had not performed such a feat for the last ten years. In this manner did the cavaleade proceed for a short distance; when the ee of a public- house became the signal for a halt. There the two pious travellers got their clothes properly brushed; and Mr. Paxwax bathed his eye, which was indeed pretty nearly bunged up, as he him- self had However, all his animosity vanished when he found that while he had been busy in abluting his optie, Mr. Sneakeby had ordered: devilled kidneys and a quart of egg- fiip—for both of which species of creature- comforts Mr. Paxwax a considerable liking. The refreshments were relished with a zest all the more keen inasmuch as the chosen vessels of the New Lights had breakfasted at the early hour of seven in order to cemmence their journey at half-pest; end having disposed of the kidneys and the flip and read the landlord a homily 4 | spon brotkerly. love and the blessings of absti- nenees, they mounted their beasts and resumed their . way. The charch-clock at Dartford was proclaiming the hour of neon when the Rav. Mr. Nathaniel Sneaksby and Mr. Ichabod Pexwax mads their entry into that town. . “ Hooray! brayvo?” yelled farth a parcel of boys who were playing at marbles in the middle of the street; and, hastily gathering up their “alley taws” and their “commoneys,” they began dancing, and capering, and hooting, and bawling on either side of the sanctimonious travellers. * Beware, boys -— beware!” exclaimed Mr. — Sneakaby, assuming a look uf awful solemnity: “remember how the wicked youths were served who ingulted Elisha! Are ye not afraid that bears will come forth from yon woods in the distance and eat ye up ?” ‘There b’aint no beers in these here parte,” cried the ringleader of the juvenile mob: and as he ‘.took a sight ” at the reverend gentleman at the same time, his mischievous companions all became convulsed with laughter. “ Gee up!” vociferated another boy; and pick- ing up a stick, he inflicted divers hard thwasks upon Mr. Sneakaby's horse. “ Now, then, ol stubbornness!” oried a third urchin, addressing himself to the donkey: and while Mr. Paxwax was remonstrating with him upon the impropriety.and ungodliness of hig oon- duct, another boy quietly and cleverly attached a bramble to the animal's tail. Thereupon the ass began to exhibit divers symptoms of uneasiness;to theinfinite disgust and annoyance of Mr. Paxwax, who was searcely able to retain his seat. “ Avaunt, incarnate imps of Satan!” be thun- dered forth, aa his hands grasped the mane of the donkey: for the beast was kicking at one moment--running forward at another — then stopping short--then backing on the pavement in a manner. most threatening to the shop windows --and then galloping on again at a rate which almost jolted ite ynbappy rider to pieces. And all this time the mischievous boys were keoping up with the cavalcade—yelling, hooting, tossing up their caps in the air, and playing off the artillery of their ‘jokes and gibes against the miserable victims of this juvenile perse- cution. The tradeamen came forth from their shops—windows were thrown open and crowded with faces— the passengers in‘ the streets to behold the amusing scene—and the “ oldest inhabitant tn the place” did not remember so extraordinary an excitement hav- ing ever before disturbed. the tranguility of Dartford. } At length some individual took compassion on Mr. Paxwax and removed the bramble from the donkey’s tail; and this same “good famaritan ” as Mr. Sacaksby denominated him, gave the neces- sary information to guide the pious travellers to the dwelling of the Rev. Joel Brigg. Accordingly, dn a few minutes they reached a public-house whioh steod within @ few yards of their deatina- tion; and having pat up their cattlo at that place of ‘accommodation for man and beast,” they hastened to knock at Mr. Brugg’s door, the per- severing small. boys forming a line along the edge of the pavement ead indulging in sundry ironical cheers and jocular observations. a ElOOO® SS