The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 117: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oo EEE” (a eee, 104 We must here pause for a few moments to state that the Rev. Joel Bragg -was the founder and pastor of a certain sect bearing the name of Cande- labrians, and who were tolerably numerous in Dartford and the adjacent districts. The house in which Mr. Bragg dwelt with the wife of his bosom and the numerous family upon whose countenance he had stamped his image—and a very curious one it was too, alike in the original and in its eleven miniature reflections—his house, we say, was a neat yellow-brick building, con- taining eight rooms, and having a piece of garden- ground at the back—the whole having been pur- chased by the money of fhe Candelabrians for the express behoof of their revered pastor and the numerous tribe cf Bruggs. The Rev. Joe] himself was a tall, thin, bony man—not unlike Mr. Sneaksby in figure, but having a face of very tallowy complexion and thin black hair combed in a sleek manner over his forehead. Ho had large greenish eyes, bearing an amazing résemblance to boiled gooseberries ; and his demeanour was as solemnly sanctimonious, his gait as demurely prim, his speech as deliberately measured, and his tone as awfully sepulchral as the most fastidious “saint” could possibly desire. His wife was as like him as if she had been his sister instead of his ; tall, thin, and hatchet- faced, she looked both the prude and the vixen— althongh Mr. Brugg was wont to represent her as “the very best woman in existence.” Atthe moment when Mr. Sneaksby and Mr. Paxwax knocked at the door, Mr. and Mrs. Brogg were in the middle of a pretty little domestic dispute relative to the dinner—or rather, what it ‘was to consist of; for a pious Candelabrian had sent the pastor a sucking-pig in the morning, and the said pastor was desirous of having it cooked for that day’senjoyment—whereas Mrs. Brugg was equally anxious that the cold remains of a leg of mutton should be previously disposed of. The dispute was waxing so warm that the Rev. Joel Brugg was on the point of coming to blows with “the very best woman in existence,” when the loud double knock fell upon their ears with start- ling effect; and tie next moment they were frightened almost out of their wits by the yells, hootings, and hurrahings of the small boys form- ing the New Lights’ escort. A miserable, half-starved, dirty servant-of-all- work, whose age was abont seventeen and who had a hungry éye and a famished look altogether, was hastily despatched to open the door; and the visitors were immediately conducted into the front parlour. The mob of juveniles then gave “ one cheer more,” and dispersed to resume their game with alley taws and commoneys. Mr. and Mrs. Brugg were in the kitchen when the New Lights arrived at their house; and on the wretched servant delivering the names of those worthies, the pastor hastily observed to his wife, “Well, upon my word, my love, 4d think you were right after all, and we will keep the pig till to-mor- row. For these chapsarecerttain to stay to dinner: indeed, we cannot possibly avoid asking them.” “ Then mind we're watery drinkers, Mr. Brogg,” returned his better half, with a most emphatic sig- nificancy: “for I amnotgoing to waste our money in buying spirits for them fellers, I can tell you.” “Certainly not, my dear—certainly not,” ex- claimed Joel,approvingly. ‘We're water-drinkers to the back-bone—for this day at least.” Having exchanged these hasty observations and arrived at so tan understanding with cach other, Mr. and ‘Mrs. Brugg proceeded with solemn demeanour té the parlour. “ Welcome, ucing you. A nobler example of a wife cannot be found; indeed, she is in ail re- apects the very best woman in existence.” ‘A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, Brother Brngg,” said the Rev. Mr. Sneaksaby, after having paid his respects to the lady. “ Pray sit down, gentlemen—and make your- selves quite at home,” she exclaimed, assuming as hospitable a demeanour as it was in her nature to paton. “But, dearme! what is the matter with the gentleman’s eye?” she demanded, fixing her looks upon Ichabod’s damaged opti * I¢ was an injury received by my pious drother when engaged in the Lord’s service,” Mr. Sneake- by hastened to observe. “For, behold! as we journeyed along the great highway which msn call the Dover Road, we observed certain ungodly — Vessels employed in breaking stones. The dis- course of these benighted sinners did reach our ears; and it shocked us sorely to perceive that for every one harmless word that fell from their lips, they gave utterance to a dozen oaths. -| Brother Paxwax, ever zealous in the good cause, did spur his ass into a trot and ride forward to remonstrate with those men of Belial. Where- upon one of them, more deeply influenced by Satan than all the rest, did rise from his seat on the stones—gird up his loins——” “ And bung up my eye with his fist,” added Mr. Paxwax,by way of affording a suitable pero- ration for his superior’s pathetic narrative. “ Alas! it is our lot to receive stripes and be beaten with rods in the good service,” said Mr. Joel Brugg, turning up the whites of his eyes and shaking his head solemnly. “ But the divine grace and two leeches applied to-night, Brother Paxwax, will accomplish a cure. And now, my beloved friends, you will break bread with me— and then we will discourse upon the subject of your visit. My dear,” he added, turning towards his wife, “ what hast thou in the way of provender to offer unto these pious wa °” “ A crast and a cup of cold water will suffice, dear Brother Brugg,” said Mr. Sneakaby. ‘Or anything that you may have provided for your own frugal meal, dear sister,” observed Mr. Paxwax, addressing the lady: and at the same time he gave a sniff in order to ascertain whether there was any odour of roast meat in the house. “ Verily, and we would not insult your known virtues in respect to temperance, dear . brethren, by placing before you the flesh-pots of Egypt,” said the Rev. Joel Brugg. ° “« Assuredly not,” added his better-half. “A morsel of cold mutton and a potatoe, with some water from a delicious spring in the neighbour- hood, constitute our repest of this day, under me divine blessing : and to our humble board ye are truly welcome.” The Rev. Mr. Sneaksby’s countenance became uncommonly blank for amoment, and Mr. Ichabod Paxwax made an awful face, as this frugal bill of fare was subniitted to their consideration : but, in- ElOOO® SS ee ccs ee ems