The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 115: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

aap oad w ¢ ' 43 “ Verily, end i is rather a supply ef grease witch I need at this moment, Brother Sreaksby,” retorted Ichabod. : { - ‘ Dest thou turn my words to ridicule?” ax- claimed the reverend gentleman, now spealiiig sharply himself. “Traly, and this is most dis- respectful on thy part, Brother Paxwax: it is likewise unjust and unkind, seeing that I am.in no way an accessory to: the galling which thou receivest in the breech from the uncouth trotting of that animal. For when it was resolved by the Elders last evening that a deputation should repair to Dartford, and when you and I were requeated to undertake that grave and solemn duty, thou aidst of thine own accord declare thine intention of riding. upon an ase as 4 proof of thy mesleness ' and.a sign of thy humility." ‘‘ Since we are alone together; Brother Sneaks- by,” observed Mr. Ichabod Paxwaxz, who was writhing miserably upon tho saddle, and making the most awful contortions with his full-moon countenanco,-~-" I: will honeatly and frankly con- fess that I chose this agsinine mode of cenvey~ ‘ aoe inasmuch as I am unaccastomed to bestride | the nobler animal called a horse.” “ And therefore, you perceive, Buotber Paxwarx, that thy duplicity is deservedly punished,” said Mn Sveakaby. ‘“ Thoa didst arrogate to thyself meeknessand humility in seleeting the age-—and the hidden: reason was thine incapacity to ride the horse. Dost thon know, Prothes Paxwaz, what. the ungodly would odll thee ?” « What?” demanded Ichabed. 4 A humbug,” replied his reverend leadsr. “Then if the ungodly did,” exclaimed Mr. Pauwnx; ‘ E would pull off my coat--tuek up my shirt sleoves—and punch the ungedly’s head.” “Oh! thou man. of wrath!” ejaculated Mn Snenkasby, dropping the reins and holding up bis hande ia sanctimoniong horror at tho warlike thrent. Dut ag the travellers were at this moment de- scending.a hill and the horse move than ewer re-. quired to have his head held up, on aecount of his knecling propensities, the result of Mr. Snealsby’s. sudden abandenment of the reins was that the beast stumbled over a slope --and the reverend leader of the New. Likbts was: pitehed airily and ‘neatly over the animal's head. “ Marder!’ roared the reverend gentleman, ag he rolled over and over upen tke dusty -road. ‘‘ Fire!” ejaculated Mr. !chabod. Paxwax, not knowing in tho bewilderment oltthe moment what wes the precise nature of the alarm whish he ought to mise. “ Of a verity this is marrelleusly anpleasant,”. groaned forth Mr. Sneaksliy, slowly.and painfully risiag from the g¥éund and rebbing himecif all over. “I am sorely braised: bat I thank God that no bones are broken. Kut new I cannot re- mount this graceless beast without assietance ; and, i all Christian charity, Brother Parwax, art thou bound to give moe a leg up.” © Be it as thon sa yest,” exclaimed Mn, Pagwax, desedading: with a sort of gingerly presaution from his donkey: for the poor man was indeed enduring excruciating paix from the camsevelready hinted at. Having’juet rabbed off the duet fycen bie rev~ | erend ader's garments by meaum et kb pocket- Mz. Pexwax ewdeaveured te }.cist that reverend gentlesan upen the howe; lus just at the moment when. the said raverend gostleman was about to throw his leg over, the animal: started suddenly aside—aad the result was that Mr. Sneaksby fell heawily « seeond time, bearing down Mr. Paxwax with him. Up they both got in woful plight; and it really may be pardoned them if they both gave vent to those little ejaguiatery expressions of: irritation which are vulgariy called oaths. In- deed, we are bound, as honest historians, to- admit that the Reverend Nathaniel Sneakaby damned the horse’s eyes— while Mr. Ichabod Paxwax prociaimed an ardent desire te out his cursed liver out. Their very venial impatience being thue expended in impreestionsa, thoy regarded each other with lookg of shame and confusion. “Brother Paxwax didgt thoy hear the words that fell from my lips?” said Mr. Sneaksby, in a humiliated and contrite tone. “ No —that I dida't!” exclaimed Ichabod. “ Neither did you hear what I asid, Brother Sneaksby.” “ Verily and my ears ware closed,” was the response. Mutually cheered by these sasurenees, they brushed the dust off each ather’s garments; and having performed this “ Christian office,” as they termed ‘it, they made another attempt in respect to the “leg up” But this time Mr. Pexwax hoisted his reverend and venerated friend so suddenly up that the said ravefend and venerated friend pitched completely over the animal, and rolled in the dust on the other side, -“Damnation seize you for a. cumsg fool!” roared Mr. Nathaniel Sneaksby, now: irnteted beyond all power of endurance; and starting up froma the ground, he rushed after Mr. Ichabod Paxwax with the evident intention of fisting personal chastisoment upon him. i. But Ichabod, despite of the menape whioh he had just now uttered relative to pushing the head of the ungodly, was et the botiom em arrant coward; and darting away, he led Mn Saealmby @ race—now running round the. hore and the ase-—ther dodging in between them—aptih bis reverend pursuer was quite exhausted. ° ‘* Brother Paxwax,” said thie rentionsam, peat- ing for breath, “let there be no strife. bairween us —-but give me the band of peace.” “ Cheerfully will I respond unte.thy. Christian prapoeal, Brother Sneaksby,” exelhitmped Iehebad: and he advanced in full confidence and with ak- tended hand towards hia leader. “There! take that for. your pains,” ojaqulated Mr. Sneaksby, dealing Mr. Pax wax a tremendous blow on tho left eye the moment he got him within arm’s reach. This treacherous proceeding astounded Brother Ichabod even more completely than the assault staggered him; aad clappiog hia hand to the damaged optic, he gazed with the other in ® sort of séwpid constesnetion. upon Wie belliqase lesdler. “ Now who ie the mas of went)?” heat length exelaimed--but prudently pled pagar i or two im ordento evaid s:.napetition of. the punish- ment. “T love: thee, Beotker Pawnrax,” said Mr. Sneekeby, whese wae now appeased: by TL leve thee the vent it had fonna: “ vem, Vor —~and therefore d.. I -shasten, (ipa ecomilcooolks