Life — January 25, 1929 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

fron 0H 1 f is, oritten, shetween y Hanafi. ene N OOD food is no small matteraboard Hamburg- American liners. The choic- est viands prepared by the most expert chefs, served by experienced stewards in tastefully decorated salons, combine to make every meal an anticipated occasion when going “Across the Atlantic”. —— PLEASURE CRUISES—— Gi the West Indies S$. S. RELIANCE From New York Feb. 23 — 27 days Mar. 27 — 16 days CYo ‘Northern Wonderlands S. S. RELIANCE From New York June 29 — 36 days to Iceland, Spitzbergen, Norway and the North Cape. Rates $800 up include return passage to New York HAMBURG-AMERICAN LINE 39 Broadway, New York 209 Tremont St., Boston, 177 N, Michigan Ave., Chicago, 262 S. Broad St.. Phila cisco, Citizens’ thip and Tourist Agents, cokes The “Quincy Qilq Qocktail” therefore, is hereby abolished from my campaign paraphanalia. In printing the recipe, I do so_as Qilq, private citizen. Qilq, public character, refuses to endorse it any longer: “Mangle three pounds of hard green quinces into a limp mush, and strain through the strings of a tennis racquet. Stir a five-gallon crock of alchohol with the racquet until the quince-drenched strings are completely dissolved. When you have imbibed this mixture, you can play tennis with the racquet and never know that the strings are missing.” Tue most heartening return of the week's campaign was the donation of a farthing from a Mr. MacTaggert of Edinburg, Scotland. Highly elated, I put the farthing into my pocketbook. But when I later went to show it to a skeptical friend, both farthing and purse had disappeared. That afternoon a radiogram from the captain of the Leviathan explained what had hap- pened. Just off Sandy Hook his lookout spied a brown leather purse, being dragged east through the waves on the end of a string. The Leviathan gave desperate chase for awhile, but the canny Mr. Mac- Taggert was pulling too fast. This gave the campaign a bit of a set- back, as the purse also contained ten or twelve thousands of dollars which had come in by the morning mail. But at the same time I am flattered to know that the Qilq Drive is attracting attention abroad. The following tabulation shows the standing of the five leading cities at the end of the fiscal week: Donations City to Date Population P.C. La Jolla, Cal $1.00 5,000 0002 Hagerstown, 1.50 30,133 000049 Cicero, Ill......... 2.00 55,960 .000035 Town Jail, West Oup, Va. One doz. eggs (Were stolen from warden's wife, and had to be returned, but gave them excellent care while here, hatching out three.) “Mr. Golfumo, your wife flew to New York for lunch and on to Chicago for dinner, and she says to please come for her ‘cause she's afraid to come home alone in the dark.” Irrelevant and Immaterial A _nNortu-Bounp bird, on eager wing, Was secking signs of jocund spring, When on a woman's head it saw— Oh, joy!—a hat of flimsy straw. The bird broke out in joyful song, But not for long. No, not for long... A blizzard came with arctic breath And froze its little lungs to death. Alas! This tiny, trusting bird (So young to die!) had never heard That woman—be she dame or deb— Must don her spring straw lid in Feb. Arthur H, Folwell. Crampion Lapecer of THE Werk: The carpenter who called his mischievous wife “Cuticle,” because she hid his nails. “Why, you little insect, you know what I'd like to do to you?” “Yeh, I know. But ya can't—cause I've hidden the Flit.” comicbooks.com