Life — December 7, 1928 — page 58: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HAVE never made a speech like this —but often, at the beginning of a play, I'd like to step in front of the curtain and say this: “Ladies and Gentlemen: You are very kind to come toseeour play. May I suggest a way by which you could enjoy it thoroughly? “Don't cough. Coughing disturbs the actors...disturbsthe play... disturbs The Curtain Speech I would like to make” Lionel Atwill you. To stop it, may I suggest some- thing which I myself often use—Smith Brothers’ Cough Drops? Thank you.” Unpleasant and dangerous coughs and colds—most of winter sicknesses —start in the throat. Smith Brothers’ Cough Drops protect you! They soothe irritation, clear away hoarse- ness, relieve cigarette-dryness and— as everyone knows—they stop coughs! 5c Two kinds: S. B. (black) or the new Menthol. Always keep a box handy. Take your auto slong wacrated, ss baggage. S| decks and any loading facilities. Moderate rates. asi sere cd bane erly fe A canvas by Monet— « prelude by Rachmaninoff—a words picture of such magic beauty as “The Tempest’’—accomplishments so artistic that they brook no comparison . . . In its more modest field The ROOSEVELT, too, has achieved a great distinction in the dispensing of hospitality—an order of service which the travel-wise tell us stands entirely alone. 1100 Rooms—Single or En Suite Christmas Is Only December 25th Along the Main Stem (Continued from page 58) To which the male member tel. graphed: “Okay. Send loaf of bread!” That gives you an idea, Willard, and so help me Winchell, it happened. It happened in 1918 to a small-time combo known as Winchell and Greene, whose billing used to be: “Songs, Dances and Witty Sayings.” Oh, those were the days! Good God, may they never come again! But here it is Yuletide and I’m weeping into your beard and before I know it I'll be accused of being a pansy. So let us away—and go gay and kid ourselves out of being Pagliotchees and loff, clown, loff! And six 1s twelve! My brother is com- ing with pineapples. And if I have to leave you with a chuckle, then let me remind you of the classic of them all. It appeared in the 1925 Christmas Number tas which, by the way, is a swell mag since they started hiring some regular writers. Any- way, it was a Webster cartoon and if you are in the mood, then name me a better crayon wrecker than that bird. The draw- ing revealed a newspaper city editor in- structing a cub reporter. The chatter went something like this: “Go uptown,” said the editor, “and interview some of those r devils who have to work and can't ave dinner with their families today. Write a good sob story, about a column and a half. Then on your way back you might stop at Joe's lunch wagon and get me half a dozen hot dogs.” And don’t send me any gifts. Just do me one favor. All I ask, Willard, is please don’t get collegiate when New Year's comes around and wish your friends “A Nineteen Plenty Nine!” I€ you'll promise you won't do that, I'll reward you with an autographed photo of the guy who voted for Smith. OBVIOUS Dear Sir: If you see a list like this around the house: Hat 7% Shirt 16 Socks 10 Slippers 814 Waist 44 Gloves 9 Collars 1614 it means your wife will give you the cus tomary box of cigars for Christmas. Bill Sykes. Massacnuserts went Democratic and North Carolina Republican in the last election, Next year, when Harvard is play- ing North Carolina, the Harvard Coach wal probably say to his players before they go into the game: “Now fight thox Tar Feels, fellows, and don’t forget that every one of them is a Republican.” comicbooks.com