Life, 1928-11-16 · page 8 of 44
Life — November 16, 1928 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks the banking industry's obsession with verification procedures. The author describes attempting to cash a check at unfamiliar banks, where he faced elaborate identity-verification requirements despite being an honest depositor. The humor lies in the absurd lengths banks went to confirm his identity—requiring distinguished witnesses and detailed physical descriptions—while simultaneously accepting obviously fraudulent credentials and paying out in pennies as obstruction. The cartoon above illustrates two young women playing with a toy zeppelin, visualizing the concept of frivolous distraction (the "Mayflower" being snubbed by a smaller "Graf Zeppelin"). The Yale-Princeton football diagram below charts the radio broadcast of that game, translating play-by-play commentary into visual strategy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Tue Lite Boy Wuose Great-Great-Great-GranoratHer CaMe OVER ON THE “MayrLower” Is SNUBBED BY THE Littte Gir. WHose Uncte Came Over oN THE “Grar Zerrein” Identification Is Vexation I nave yet to see the bank that, being confronted with Norman a check or a money order , that is palpably my own, Jaffray will believe me’ when I in- sist that I am myself and not an imita- tion of four Hawaiians. The general atti- tude is that all clients are impostors, and that, given an opportunity, they will at- tempt to draw out Mr. Mellon's money and close Mr. Ford’s account and receive the interest which rightfully belongs to Mr. Morgan. ‘Fidelity’? — “Trust” — “Surety"—hanh! These are mere hypo- critical titles attached to banks that wouldn't trust their own vice-presidents around the corner with a Confederate quarter. I once went to some pains to have an artificial mole grafted on my left cheek, in order to possess some incontrovertible identification mark which no clerk could gainsay. Did it work? It certainly did not. They gainsaid all over the place. Even when I produced the doctor's certificate the paying tellers, when they cashed my checks at all, paid me entirely in pennies. Finally, however, I hit upon an expe- dient which worked successfully, espe- by cially in out-of-town banks where I was not known. I arranged for three promi- nent citizens of the specified town to con-| verge in the center of the bank a few min- utes before I came in. The three of them (a distinguished statesman, a famous doc- tor, and a respected minister) pretended to meet there by accident. Their carefully prepared conversation then proceeded a lollows: Doctor: Gentlemen, I understand thir today this bank is going to be honored by a visit from none other than (raising ky voice) Norman R. Jaffray! Minister: What! Not Norman R Jaffray of 162 Glenbrook Road, Stamford, Connecticut! Docror (consulting his notes): The very same. StaresMan: Is it true, as so many ple say, that he is of light complexion, bis narrow cyebrows, a drooping chin, anda loose mouth, and is slightly graying at the temples? Doctor (nodding): Quite so. Minister: Five feet two. Statesman: Eyes of blue. Doctor: Doo dee doo, dee doo-dee doo! Aut: Has anybody seen Mr. Jaffray? (They dance for a while, then quiet down. Several clerks look around.) Doctor: And he’s got curly hair. Statesman (doubtfully): I never cared for curly hair. Minister (triumphantly): But he's go curly hair. ALL: So that’s my weakness now! (At this point I entered, attired ins natty cutaway and silk hat.) N. R. J.: Hello, boys. Att: Good morning, Mr. (loudly) Jaffray! N. R. J.: I've just stepped in for a mo ment to cash a money order. A small mat ter of (yawning) ten thousand dollars. Att: Ten thousand dollars! That's a lot of money. N. R. J. (dubiously): 1 don’t suppox anybody would know me here. (Loots The Yale-Princeton Game as Charted from the Radio Broadcast KEY TO CHART RUN WITH BAIL ~~~ ~_-~~ [OR WARD PASS seeeeeeceoooe 100 07 vere PUNT A AAR Raa aene Am ae DROP KICK ee NLT comicbooks.com