Life — November 16, 1928 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Why, hello, prevalence of crimes of violence; and that as his first miracle he would ordain that whoever should attempt a killing or a robbery should be paralyzed in his tracks. That, he thought, would solve a good many problems.....Then he thought again. And upon second thought, he per- ceived that if crimes of violence were abolished millions of policemen the world over would be thrown out of work; policemen and payroll guards, and watch- men, and the chauffeurs of armored cars would join the unemployed already clus- tered on the sidewalks. The textile trades, already depressed enough, would be de- pressed still further by the disappearance of the demand for uniform cloth; manu- facturers of safes and vaults would be thrown into bankruptcy; arms manufac- turers would feel the loss of the under- world trade and the disappearance of the demand for pistols from householders and business men in need of protection; and the majority of criminal lawyers would be compelled to devote to other callings tal- ents adapted, as a rule, only to the practice of criminal law. And having reflected on the effect which such a tremendous dis- location would have on a business system already running pretty close to the margin of profit, this earnest citizen decided, as he turned over and went to sleep, that it ae ergeant! I just stopped in to see if there’s any mail for me.” was just as well that he could perform no miracles. Without crime, he concluded, there could be no prosperity. Perhaps there is something wrong with his reasoning; but there seems to be some- thing wrong with precy nearly all the reasoning that so excitedly goes on about the Great American Phenomenon. Elmer Davis. —Life Lines— Fottowine the big games this week, a lot of our most prominent universities are certain to be in the market for some new goal posts. JL “Newrousotaxn, — thoroughbred, beauti'ul large male dog, age four months, price $15, worth $75; also female bull, sister to above dog. same age, five dollars."* A-gq7 24097 —Toronto Telegram Din you say she was his sister? JL Tue Swepis Government has sent the chief of its liquor control system to this country to study Prohibition. Which, as we think it over, is one of the most delicate compliments yet paid to the efficiency of the American boot- legger. 5 aL “Dr. and Mrs. Ralph Chappell have returned from abroad. He attended a nose and throat in- stitute and she took vocal culture.""—Indianapolis Medical Journal. Mosr Americans go to Europe merely to get a good gargle. LL Everytuinc comes to him who waits—including the Notre Dame foot ball team. JL “Rueumarisa—Mrs. A. S. Lohman, 54 E. 3d ave., will gladly tell anyone how she got rid of her rheumatism.” —Denver Post Witt someone kindly drop a hat? LL Ten whole days have passed since Election—but we have yet to see a col- lapse of our national prosperity, a reduc- tion in the number of speakeasies, or a relieved farmer. aL “Are more voters influenced by the elusive qualities of personality of the speaker than by profound discussion of the serious ess ?etao HRDLUcyoRDLYNU—U issues?" -Richmond News-Leader We t, that’s the way the election turned out. aL In the movies just now it seems to be a survival of the It-est. comicbooks.com