Life — October 26, 1928 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE This Side Idolatry By C. E. Bechhofer Roberts. ‘The Bebbs-Merrill Co. Keen Reasons why every man wants a Schick Repeating Razor These blades are superkeen, infi- 2 They load inside the razor nitely sharper handle, 20 in a clip 3 Not one blade edge is ever touched The razor itselfis perfectly until it touches the face 4 balanced Tue witch's caldron boils with sneers, The plot gelatinously thickens; A “new-biographer” appears — To take a whack at Mr. Dickens— A bio-fabricator, taught . By mother-wit and self-persuasion Exactly what his subject thought 5 Blades are changed in 1 second ¢ Results: Marvelousshaves bya pulland a push of the plunger in half the time And said and did on each occasion. He takes young Charles, a likely lad, And grows him up a boor and tartar, Poseur and ingrate, snob and cad; And why?—To prove his wife a mar- tyr. Assembling con's, forgetting pro's, He blots his victim’s moral splendor, By hook or crook resolved to pose “As Mrs. Dickens’ brave defender. The world, of course, was much con- cerned About that doubtless worthy lady, So every stone must now be turned To show her husband up as shady. If Dickens sometimes played the fool, Like other men of clay compacted, The incident is made the rule; Yes, that’s the way he always acted. It's quite the fad to slur the great (When safely dead), to roast them finely, To play the Devil’s Advocate As Mr. Roberts does divinely. When good might well be said with truth He'll find a calumny to hide it. “This Side Idolatry,” forsooth! Amany muddy miles this side it! Arthur Guiterman. THE DECLINE OF KANSAS A New Jussey paper says that every nation must tare a conscience and the United States calls ter'n Kansas. The New Jersey paper is only about thirty-five years behind the times. Kansas has sown her wild oats, committed her iscretions and now is plodding phleg- he road toward middle age and When you acquire a Schick you ac- quire a lifetime of smooth, quick shaves. A clip of twenty blades— they'll last a long time—are in the handle. A quick pull and push of the plunger removes the old blade and puts a new one in shaving po- sition. Drug Stores, Hardware, Jewelry, Men’s Wear and Department Stores have Schicks to show you. Schick, silver-plated $5.00, including 20 blades. Gold model $7.50. Addi tional clip of 20 blades 75c. In Can- ada slightly more. Magazine Repeat- ing Razor Company, 285 Madison Avenue, New York. Canadian Dis- tributors: T. S. Simms & Co., Ltd., Saint John, N. B. X A smooth shave, quick Razor presidential election is about as exciting as a service club luncheon, Certainly it doesn’t attract as much interest as the World Series. Kansas is darned near as dead as New Jersey. me of John Brown is shrouded =-Eint porsa “Gaaetie. AO ; half the school children in Kansas —___—. pee hr “Sockless’* Jerry Simpson; Carrie LAUGH THAT OFF IF YOU CAN 7, & the liquor Kansas haschased the Grand | _l.certainly don’t.”* nausea, dizziness and faintness of Dragons of the Klan and all the lesser lis “Well, how about the cigarette that has de- Train Travel, Journey by Sea, the lesser lizards | veloped from a coffin nail into a cough drop?" ‘Train, Acto, ‘Car or Alr in’ Heakh fst of the cow pasture back to their holes in Ci ti Ea and Comfort. 3 — rer. be woodlot and plugged the holes tighter than jacana Eagterer % & $1.50 at Drug Stores or dire fe boudoir of a Texas horned toad. The Kansas ———_——_—— New Y “Mothersilt Remedy Co., Ltd. ork. slature has even clothed the cigarette with Fopectability. » like Alexander, needs new worlds to <. The people haven't had a real live issue a fight on their hands for so long that a An unreported incident of the theatrical slump is that, en a recent first-night, at the final curtain the manager in a graceful little speech informed the author that the audience was not in the house.—Punch. comicbooks.com