Life, 1928-10-26 · page 32 of 40
Life — October 26, 1928 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising** for Hinds Cream shaving product, with the left side showing product copy and usage instructions in illustrated panels. The right side contains "The Old Jokes Are the Best"—a humor column featuring several brief anecdotes. These appear to be vintage jokes recycled from earlier sources (credited to Thomas L. Masson's collections). The jokes include: 1. A child chewing gum impolitely on a train 2. A WWI soldier explaining a German watch with "E 'ad to" 3. A slapstick scene about a man trying to warn a deaf woman her house is on fire 4. Dialect humor involving African American characters using aggressive slang 5. A child telling her mother she's "a failure" for not teaching manners 6. A dinner party anecdote about tactlessness The column's title suggests these are older, well-worn jokes being recycled—humor that relies on physical comedy, wordplay, and social embarrassment rather than topical satire. The dialect humor reflects period attitudes typical of 1920s publications.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
30 Before Shaving HINDS CREAM e After shaving, Does your skin Feel dry, Stretched, and tight As a drumhead? Want to have that Nice relaxed feeling, And look well groomed In the bargain? After you shave, Simply rub on Hinds Cream Till it dries in. Borrow the wife’s Bottle and try it Or send coupon, Before you lather, rub in Hinds Cream vigor- ously for two or three seconds, You'll be sur- prised how it softens the beard! Then lather right over the Hinds Cream while it is still wet. Boy! what a clean, smooth, easy shave! After shaving, rub in a little more Hinds Cream until your fin- gers cling. Your skin will feel soft and re- laxed all day. After Shaving HINDS CREAM Oc.dr.inc..1020 LEHN & FINK, Inc, Sole Distributors Dept. 1468 Bloomfield, N. J. Please send me a sample bottle of Hinds Honey & Almond Cream, sol can enjoy asmooth shave for oace. “Shave your face but save your skin» THE OLD JOKES ARE THE BEST A Loxpox man just back from the States says that a little girl on the wain to Pittsburgh was chewing gum. Not only that, but she insisted on pulling it out in long strings and letting it fall back into her mouth again. “*Mabel!"* said her mother in a horrified whis- per. "Mabel, don't do that! Chew your gum like a little lady.** eee A “Tosaty,"" lying in a hospital during the war, had beside him a watch of curious and foreign design. The attending doctor was interested. “Where did your watch come from?" he asked. “A German give it me," he answered. A little piqued, the doctor inquired how the foe had come to convey this token of esteem and affection, “*°E ‘ad to," was the laconic reply. A Man was walking along the street, and he saw a house on fire. He rushed across the way and rang the bell, After some time a lady, who proved to be slightly deaf, appeared at the door. “Madam, your house is on fire." “What did you say?" The man began dancing up and down. He pointed above. “1 said your house is afire! Flames bursting out! No time to lose!" “What did you say?" “House afire! Quick!"* The lady smiled. “Is that all?" she said sweetly. “Well,"’ replied the man hopelessly, ‘that's all T can think of just now," “Best Short Stories’? and “The Best Stories in the World,” by Thomas L. Masson —From “Nicoatt, don’t mess wid me,"* warned one, “cause when yo’ do yo" sure is flirtin’ wid a hearse."* “Don’t pesticate wid me, niggah,"” replied the other, showing a great bony fist; “‘don’t fo’ce me to press dis upon yo", cause if yo’ do Ah'Il hit yo" so ha'd Ah'Il just natch‘aly knock yo" from amazin’ grace into a floatin’ opportunit “IE yo" mess wid me, niggah,"” replied the other, “‘Ah’Il just make one pass, and dere'll be a man pattin’ yo" in de face wid a spade tomorrow mornin’.”* eee Marcarer, aged five, had been very rude to a little guest, and after the child had gone home Margaret's mother told her very feelingly how grieved she was at her rudeness. “I've tried so hard to make you a good child, Margaret, to teach you to be polite and kind to others; and yet, in spite of all my efforts, you are so rude and so naughty."* Margaret, deeply moved, looked sadly at her mother and said, ‘What a failure you are, Mama!"* eee “Tacr,’’ said the lecturer, ‘‘is essential to good entertaining. I once dined at a house where the hostess had not tact. Opposite me sat a modest, quiet man. “Suddenly he turned as red as a lobster and fell into a fit of confusion on hearing the hostess say to her husband: ** “How inattentive you are, Charlie. You must look after Mr. Blank better. He’s helping himself to everything.’ "* —From ‘The World's Best Humorous Anecdotes,"" by ]. Gilchrist Lawson. The whole world knows Aspirin as 2 effective antidote for pain. But it’s just os important to know that there is only ow genuine Bayer Aspirin. The name Bayeris on every tablet, and on the box. If it says Bayer, it’s genuine; and if it doesn’t, its not! Headaches are dispelled by Bayer Aspirin. So are colds, and the pain goes with them; even neuralgia, neuritis and rheumatism promptly relieved. Ge Bayer—at any drugstore—with proven é rections, Physicians prescribe Bayer Aspirin; it does NOT affect the heart Aspirin is the trade mark of Bayer Manufacee of Monoaceticacidester of Salicylicacid IT SEEMED TO FIT AN autograph hunter cornered Charles We ninger, comedian of “‘Show Boat,” the of night and insisted he sign his name in a kek book. Mr. Winninger obliged. “But you must add some appropriate se ment," said the visitor. So the comedian wrt “To a confirmed pest.”* —New York Evening World ophone, Mandolin, Guitar and Get free catalogue at your comicbooks.com