Life — October 19, 1928 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Preacner’s Wire: Where in the world did you learn those awful words, sonP Preacuer’s Son: I got them out of Papa's sermon on Al Smith, dident know what church Smith belonged to. So that's the way things have drifted along, just from one scandal to another. And our Anti-Bunks have just gone along and have not only kept clear of Church, but also of State matters. Of course our opponents did ty to hook me up with Aimee’s church, and say that if I was elected the Mother Church would be moved from Hollywood to Washington and that we would have the whole Country disappearing, But we tracked the rumor down and found just like a lot of these others that it was so. Our whole appeal is to the broad minded element, and I doubt if I receive over a hundred votes. Anti-Bunk Bulletin Our Candidate's estimate of the Anti- Bunk vote is much too conservative. We have just heard that the Literary Digests nation-wide poll indicates a tremendous sweep of some cight hundred votes to Will Rogers. But even the Literary Digest is prejudiced, in favor of cither Hoover or Smith (it won't say which), so we have decided to conduct a straw vote of our own, under the supervision of Mr. Bench- ley. The first results of his secret investi- gation are set forth to your right. There will be another big Anti-Bunk Radio Rally next Wednesday evening (October aay. Announcement of this great broadcast appears on page 36. If you wish membership in our party and cam- paign buttons, send in your name to Rogers Campaign Headquarters, 598 Madison Avenue, New York City. Our Own Straw Vote by Robert Benchley In order to ascertain the probable result of the ¢ election, we have undertakes a straw vote of the catiz country, something simily to that being taken by the Literary Diges, only more fen, Our method of canvassing the 20,000,000 voters has been as follow; Each voter is approached Personally by a representative of Lire (probably ty author of this article, as the rest of te staff don’t seem to have much interests the thing), and is asked if he has a fer minutes to spare. When he has said “No" the matter reaches an impasse and som times the wrangling goes on for days, If, however, the prospective voter by no objection to being questioned, we aside out of the trafhe and I make frien4| with him. This is done either by ticklix him down inside his collar with my for finger or maintaining a dignified silen| sat letting him make the advances. Or has to pick one’s method according to te type of voter under examination, and ¢| takes no little perspicacity to know whid ones to tickle and which ones to tantalx with coldness. As soon as friendly relations are esud lished, the straw voung can be done. Ts call it a “straw” vote is really a misnome as straw hasn’t been used since the di Colonial days of “bundling,” when be dles of straw were put into bed wid people to make them fretful. This was that time known as a “straw vote the word “vote” at that time had also a entirely different connotation from tht which it has today. So, leaving straw out of the mate altogether, the voting begins as soon you have got the voter to trust you. Tha “Biggers must have made a hole in one.” “No, he has a new cigarette lighter and I think he’s just got a light in one.” comicbooks.com