Life — October 19, 1928 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

2 LIFE OUR CANDIDATE HAS NO RELIGION So the Anti-Bunk Party Has No Opposition and No Support Att this that we have been hearing for the last few weeks is the “Dignified High Type Campaign” that was to take place this year. Well if it’s dignified, then I dident matriculate walking guard at Kemper Military Institution. And if it’s “High Type” then Tam “High Hat.” Ttold you last week that the “Whisper- ing” would stop, and that they would sart “Shouting” instead. If all the charges that's been made in regard to both the Candidates were layed end to end it would take ‘em over two hours to pass a given point. And if all the “Denials” were heaped ina pile, Lindbergh couldent fly over ‘em. You know it’s a funny thing about a denial, it takes twice as many words to deny it as it did to make it. Al come in from the west with the promise of more support than Peggy Joyce demands. Now we have to wait ull Nov. 6th to see what a liar the west is. Even if Al is not elected this election has been a tremendous geographical edu- by WILL ROGERS cation to him, When he hit Oklahoma he felt like a lone Gentile at the wailing wall, and when he got as far west as Montana he thought he had been shanghaied and taken to Australia. Hoover saw the country before nomina- tion so he went back to Washington and through association with Coolidge become practically speechless, While Smith was heaving charges at him, Hoover just pulled down the blinds and shut the window and _ started communing with Work (not the manual one, the modern Col. House one). Well that commenced to get Al's nanny, When he would ask Herb some- thing why Herb would have his head turned listening to somebody else, Al couldent make any more headway than a Preacher that dident talk Politics. Well there is nothing gets you quite so sore as to have somebody ignore you so much till they are practically paying no attention to you at all. Al is asking questions but he is not even getting a minority report on ‘em. A woman in Virginia sent out a Scenario saying that the Catholics would not make good Post Masters, that the mail would all be read in Rome before delivery, So Herbert paid enough atten- tion to her to have a padlock put on her typewriter. Then the only white Republican in Alabama felt called on to instruct what few constituents he had that could read, that in case of Al's election the Protestants would be called on to meet a Lion in a catch as catch can combat in the arena for the jollification of Tammany Hall and the visiting Cardinals. Well Mr. Work promptly said that he dident tell this Alabaman to produce any such pamphlet, Work said he was “exceedingly sorry," but dident say whether his tears was caused by the insult to Al's religion or the fact that the story had leaked out in northern papers. Well it’s a sure thing that somebody must have told that Alabaman to fix up the pamphlets, for he wouldent have known enough to do it alone, in fact he comicbooks.com