Life — October 5, 1928 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE UTUMN CLOTHING jor the Gentleman >>>) RS Dab ee. AND NS >) ! Drowning King HIS is the 107th fall that we have offered the season’s smartest topcoats and suits to a discerning clientele. Since 1821 our clothing has been notable for individuality, faultless workman- ship, good taste, extreme modera- tion of cost. In keeping with this distinguished tradition, our 1928 selection for fall embodies the lat- est and best style trends and the choicest of new fabrics and patterns, New York—One East 45th St., at Fifth Ave. Chicago—Monroe & Wabash...and 30 othersmart,convenientstores Why I Am Going to Vote for Will Rogers for President Because, while neither of the major parties understands him he understands both of them cnly too well. q Because he can make public men more uncomfortable with a typewriter than most people could with a machine gun, Because he is the only candidate that will get out the morie. fan vote. (Some people have been wondering for years whit would happen if all the movie fans voted.) Because he has a sense of humor that is not merely simu. lated for campaign purposes. Because he has a splendid record as Mayor of Beverly Hills (L have a grandfather living in Beverly Hills who says: “Wil never run a kid ridin’ a bicycle off the sidewalk yet!) Because I believe if he is given rope enough, he will elec himself. Kenneth Funk, Parachute I sttact never forget the first parachute jump I ever mak. To this day I recall nothing that has dismayed or terrified me more. While the people who watched me make my first jump told me I came through it visibly unshaken, I must confess that inwardly I was a turmoil of shattered nerves. My plane had climbed swiftly to an altitude considered safest for my purpose. I distinctly remember that I looked back at my pilot questioningly. He urg-d me on by a nod. Without waiting another moment I rose, stepped out of the cockpit, and let myself go hurtling down through the clouds. I had clear use of my faculties as I fell. Very deliberateiy | jerked the cord that opened the bundle strapped to my back. My headlong fall was gently checked as the great canvas slowly unfurled. I felt thoroughly at case, dangling a thousand feet up in air. I felt as secure and as comfortable as if I were in the parlor of my own home. I had been warned many times that the high altitude would make me sick. Yet I never felt better. I was telling myself how exaggerated were the dangers attributed to such a feat as mine, when I heard a clear, ominous rip. I went cold the moment I heard that warning sound of im pending disaster. Even after I had regained control over my- self I was still limp, horror-stricken, and regretful. | stormed at myself for my foolhardy recklessness in making the jump. Then I heard another rip, this one more sustained than the first. Here I realized that self-chastisement would only tend complicate my troubles. So I immediately calmed down and began to consider ways and means out of this dilemma. Looking down, I calculated that I was still several hundred feet from earth. At the same time I noticed that I was nearing ground at a fast rate—at a much faster rate than when I had left the plane. The wind sang in my cars as I went dri down. I could barely catch my breath. Very soon I could dx tinctly make out the faces of the crowd watching me. Again I became horrified. Those people would crowd around n® as soon as I touched earth. They would be near enough to st everything. ...I was never so completely sick at heart. Whoop! I landed with a fluttering rush, a cloud of canvas billowing over me. The crowd swooped in and got me before I could free myself from the parachute and escape. I begged them to let me go, but they would not hear me. They cut me from the bag, raised me on their shoulders, and proudly paraded me around the field. Then it was that I discovered my mistake, i It wasn’t my pants at all that were ripping while aloft, I had amreed ¢ ripping sound that had led me to expect my first trial to end in grief came from a widening rent 8 the bag of the parachute. I take precautions now. I make = I wear two pairs of pants whenever I step off on another jump Harry Epsteit. comicbooks.com